His Dirty Little Secret
by cullensgirl1980
Summary: What happens when you meet the girl of your dreams AFTER you have already married the girl you thought you were supposed to be with? Promised HEA. Lemons. Lots of angst and drama!
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you angelnlove52 for beta'ing this story! You are awesome :) And to Moonstruck Kitten for the work you did while I was still trying to figure out which direction to go. You both are the best beta's a girl could ask for.**

**Hope you all like my changes :)**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 1**

**Monday, September 13****th****, 2010…**

The club was loud, the music blaring, a perfect place to forget everything going on in the world and just get lost in the lyrics. Swirls of cigarette smoke, mixed with random scents of perfume and cologne, rose to the black ceiling. It was dark, the type of shadow that enticed sin. It was the perfect place for me to celebrate my birthday.

I was sitting in the crowded nightclub, surrounded by loud, drunk people, sipping a drink and completely freaking the fuck out.

Tonight was supposed to be special—should have been special—but then _he _called, saying he had something important to tell me. I had been really looking forward to the night, to seeing him, until the phone call, now I was a bit nervous. Things hadn't ended well the last time we were together.

We've talked since then, worked through our issues, but there were still some unresolved issues that lingered. I'd more than patiently waited our allotted time for him to get his shit together and man up to his promises. Four fucking years I waited for his lazy ass to shit or get off the pot only to be drug around and hidden in the recesses of Las Vegas while he stayed at home with his perfect life to surround him. I was tired of being the one being left. I was tired of waking up to a cold bed and falling asleep cuddling a pillow in his place. I wanted more—I needed more but felt as though he were unobtainable.

Would it always be this way? Was that why he called? How much longer was he going to make me wait? How many more times was he going to leave me to go back to a loveless marriage?

Maybe it's all a lie? Maybe he shared a happy life with his wife. Maybe they really had sex every night and he had a family with kids and a dog up there. Maybe this was important because he wanted to break things off with me to create a family with _her_.

The thought alone caused me to vomit in my mouth and break out in a cold sweat. That couldn't be the reason. He loved me—he had to. He always made me feel I was his first priority. I never felt unloved unless it was time for him to leave.

I had to get my head back in the game. I couldn't let this effect me either way. I had people that counted on me. I had to pull myself together. No matter what he had to say tonight, I couldn't let it ruin me.

Something caught my attention, drawing my gaze away from the ice swirling around in my drink.

_Mmm,_ I thought, tucking my hair behind my ear. Licking my lips, I eyed the drop-dead gorgeous man who had just walked in the door. He looked delicious. His eyes met mine and he smirked, striding toward me with an air of confidence around him. The way his shirt clung to his body had my stomach fluttering. The light bounced off his bronze hair, causing a halo effect in this sea of sin. Since he was tall than most, he was easy to spot and follow, and man was he an amazing sight to see.

_Happy birthday to me! _I thought briefly, before chastising myself for letting him have that much power over me.

"No, it can't be," he stated, grinning down at me when he came to a stop. "My Bella isn't old enough to drink …."

I chuckled lightly, shaking my head as I stood to greet him. "Sorry, babe … I am."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me firmly against him. "Mmm," he hummed into my hair. "Happy birthday, my Bella."

"Thank you—"

"What can I get for you tonight, sir?" the bartender interrupted.

Edward let go of me, and stepped forward to give the bartender our order. "A Jack n' Coke, two shots of tequila, and whatever the lady wants," he supplied, smiling flirtatiously at me as he leaned against the sticky bar.

_Damn, he looks hot,_ I thought, staring at the fine specimen of a man standing before me. I couldn't help where my brain went when Edward was around, and it didn't help that he was standing there in a gray—Armani, I'm sure—t-shirt that hugged his sexy chest just right … and the jeans—again, Armani, as that's all he wears … yes, he looked positively yummy.

"Smirnoff Ice," I supplied politely, turning to face the bartender—snapping out of my ogling.

I had finished my last drink upon his entrance, and I desperately needed another. Just looking at him had me hot and bothered and in desperate need of … something—anything.

"So has it been a good birthday so far?" Edward asked when the bartender turned to walk away.

"Yeah, not bad," I answered, turning around to find myself boxed between the bar and Edward. My heart stuttered a bit, and then Edward stepped forward, bringing himself even closer.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"I've missed you, too," I breathed quietly, letting myself melt into him. "You're here until Sunday?" I was trying not to sound desperate, not so sure it worked.

He nodded just as the bartender walked up.

"Sixteen fifty," she stated with a smile.

"Keep the change." Edward handed her a twenty and me a shot of tequila.

Edward grinned, tapping his glass against mine. "Happy birthday, Bella."

"Thank you," I whispered, bringing the shot to my lips just as Edward did.

We quickly downed our shots, and then I felt Edward's lips softly against mine. I couldn't help the contented sigh that escaped me, or the involuntary step forward I made.

Edward and I had been _together_ for the past four years. He technically lived in Boston, while I resided in Las Vegas, but that was only the beginning of our very _complicated _relationship.

My mind quickly flashed back to the first time I saw him, the first time I heard his voice, the way it sent shivers down my spine—

"Wanna dance?" he asked, bringing me back from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked, shaking my head a bit.

"Dance?" He laughed. "You know that thing we've done a million times before. I hold you close to my body—"

"Another shot?" I asked, clearly stalling. I knew if I kept drinking the way I was, we'd never get any talking done; that desperately needed to happen, but I just couldn't seem to stop.

Edward looked at me curiously before nodding and saying, "Another shot." He quickly called the bartender over and ordered four more.

"Four?" I asked.

He just grinned at me, nodding.

I shrugged, and my inner voice screamed at me to abort. I didn't listen.

After we slammed our shots, he led me to the dance floor. Pulling me flush against him, the song "Life After You," by Daughtrycame on, and I couldn't help but notice the stutter in Edward's breath.

We slowly began moving to the music, and it wasn't long before he started singing parts of the song in my ear.

"All that I'm after is a life full of laughter," Edward whispered, making my breath catch slightly, and Edward's hold tightened immensely. "As long as I'm laughin' with you." Tears were quickly filling my eyes at this point, but I was doing my best to hold them back.

"I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after," he continued singing. "After the life we've been through, 'cause I know there's no life after you."

Edward lightly started sucking on the place just below my ear—the one that made me go weak every time. It was also severely messing with my resolve. I knew I shouldn't have been letting it happen, at least not like that, but I just couldn't bring myself to stop it. I knew we still had so much to discuss, but the alcohol was seriously messing with my ability to resist him.

"The last time we talked, the night that I walked," Edward went on to sing, the words bringing back not so great memories of the last time we were together. "Burns like an iron in the back of my mind." I exhaled a shaky breath, my heart pounding fiercely in my chest. "I must have been high to say you and I weren't meant to be and just wasting my time." Edward squeezed me tighter, and went on with the song. "Oh, why did I ever doubt you? You know I would die here without you." And despite it all, I knew that statement was true.

I hummed in contentment, shivering slightly when he started paying homage to my neck. His lips were nipping and sucking, while his tongue would peek out occasionally to grab a taste.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" he asked softly, his lips lightly brushing against my neck. I bit my lip, nodding in agreement.

_Are you stupid?_ The little voice in my head screamed. Once again, I didn't listen.

We made our way back to Edward's hotel, where he asked if I wanted to stop at the bar for a nightcap. Stupidly, I agreed.

Edward and I had been to the Rojo Lounge at the Palms before; it was a great bar to end the evening. The bar was highly sophisticated, full of sleek black and silver detailing and riddled with mirrors. There was light music playing all around us, but nothing overly loud ... the atmosphere was actually rather calming, which was why, three shots and a drink later, we finally made our way up to Edward's room.

How I could have been so stupid was very much beyond me, but there I was nonetheless. It just goes to show I had no self-control where Edward was concerned. The last time he left, I swore to myself I wouldn't let this happen. I wasn't just going to fall back into bed with him. I had more self-respect now than I used to and I couldn't let him walk all over me anymore. I needed more from him than a weekend here and a few days there. I needed full time. I needed _him_.

The moment the door closed behind us, he had me pushed against it, and it took him all of two seconds to crash his lips against mine, kissing me hungrily while his hands found their way to my breast. I whimpered, reveling in the way his hands felt, but before I could come to enjoy it too much, he pulled them away.

I whined out my protest into his mouth, but it was quickly replaced with a moan when he brought his hands down my sides, quickly spreading his fingers out over the back of my thighs and yanking me up against him.

My breath stuttered at the sudden feel of his erection pressing against my heated core, and my kisses quickly became rough and wanton as he continued to kiss, lick, and suck at my lips. I instantly opened my mouth to him, and I swear I heard a groan from him once I did.

His tongue thrust past my lips and started exploring my mouth ruthlessly; there was a slight fight for domination, but he always won in the end.

Breaking the fevered kiss, he moved his mouth down my chin as I struggled to catch my breath. I was a panting mess—the alcohol definitely contributing to that fact—as his lips grazed down my throat. I knew we shouldn't be letting this happen, that we needed to talk, but then his hands slid to the hem of my tank top, and all was forgotten ... just as it always was.

He quickly pulled my top up over my head, tossing it somewhere to the side, while his lips attached to the swell of my breast. He slid his hands around my back and quickly unclasped my bra; I didn't even hesitate in letting him remove it.

"Uhmmmm," he moaned, sucking on the skin of my breast, his mouth warm and moist. My nipples were already rock hard and begging for attention, so when he reached out his left hand to roll one of them between his thumb and forefinger, I gasped, lips parted, while my head fell back against the door.

With a small groan, he moved his right hand to my now heated core and swept the satin of my thong to the side. I whimpered when I felt his lips against mine, just moments before he pushed two fingers inside my pussy, and at the same time, his tongue slid past my lips.

_You have to be stronger than this, Bella!_ And there she is, ladies and gentleman, my voice of fucking reason.

"Edward," I breathed, breaking the kiss, softly pushing him back a bit—finally coming to my senses. "We have to stop …."

"Bella," he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. "I—"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, interrupting him. "I shouldn't have let it get this—"

"Marry me!" he blurted out. It wasn't a question.

"W-what?" I stuttered, positive I didn't hear him correctly. He couldn't possibly have meant that. "You don't mean—"

"I do mean it," he interrupted. "That's why I'm here, Bella…. What I wanted to talk to you about. I don't want to do this shit anymore …. We don't _have_ to do it anymore. I know it won't be easy, but we don't have to be apart. I want _you,_ Bella. Forever!"

_Is he for real?_ I thought, looking at him cautiously. _That's why he's here?_ What the hell does he mean?

"Are you … are you serious?" I asked skeptically and yet hopeful on some level.

"I am," he stated with conviction. "There are twenty-four hour jewelers all over the place. We can get our rings and be married in less than an hour."

I studied his face, trying to find anything that would make me think he was anything but serious, but he was completely calm; not a hint of hesitation in his expression, he almost looked … relieved?

My heart started racing in my chest, and I could feel the sweat forming on my palms as I slowly nodded, and whispered, "O-okay."

_Are you fucking insane?_ that damn voice screamed, but I wasn't paying her any mind right now. This was what I wanted … what I'd always wanted.

"Really?" Edward asked, clearly surprised by my answer.

I bit my lip, nodding, again.

_Seriously, you're insane! _she bellowed again.

Edward wasted no time gathering up my bra and tank top, and once I was dressed, he grabbed my hand, pulling me from the room immediately.

As soon as we entered the elevator, he tilted my head and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you, Isabella Swan. Forever and always," he whispered.

Tears filled my eyes while I nodded in agreement. "I love you, too, Edward Cullen. Forever and always."

We made our way to a twenty-four hour jeweler, and twenty minutes later we walked out with a two-carat single solitaire diamond with small diamonds wrapping around the platinum band, a platinum wedding band for Edward, and a platinum band with small diamonds for me.

He placed a kiss on the top of my head, and then whispered, "One more stop."

I looked up at him in confusion, but he just smiled, pulling me into a little boutique. I looked around confused, while Edward pulled me to the back of the store.

"You don't think I'm going to let you get married in that, do you?" I looked down to my black capris and white take top with silver sparkles, not really sure what the problem was.

"I know it's not a wedding dress," he stated, once again gaining my attention. He was holding up a plain white babydoll-style sundress.

"It's perfect," I breathed, taking in the dress. It really was pretty.

As we approached the sales counter, something occurred to me. "You really shouldn't be buying my wedding dress, Edward."

He shrugged. "I don't mind."

"I know you don't." I smiled. "But please let me pay for it."

He glanced at the tag. "Okay?"

I'm not really sure why he decided to let me buy it—maybe because my money was technically his money—but I ended up spending almost eighty dollars on on the dress—I didn't look at the tag first—but considering how much Edward had just spent on our rings, it was the least I could do!

Moments later, we were walking into theLittle White Wedding Chapel hand in hand. There was no one there, so we didn't have to wait long. We went with the traditional wedding and vows, and before I knew it, we were standing before some Las Vegas Justice of the Peace.

"By the powers vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife," the gentleman announced. "You may kiss the bride."

Edward wasted no time closing the distance between us, his mouth hungrily seeking out mine.

_And now you're married, you idiot! _That damn voice screamed, again. I, again, paid her no mind.

I'm not sure how he did it, maybe it was part of the package, but there was a limo waiting for us when we exited the chapel. I looked at Edward in surprise, but he just smiled and led me to the limo. Once in, Edward pulled me onto his lap and crashed his lips against mine. The kiss was raw and full of passion.

By the time we arrived at the hotel, we were both pulling away, gasping for air.

Edward had me pushed up against the door to his suite, his mouth gently nipping and sucking at mine while he struggled to put the key card in the door. Finally, he got it open and backed me in, his mouth never leaving mine.

He didn't even wait to see if the door closed behind us before he started guiding me to the bedroom. I gasped when I felt the bed hitting the back of my knees, only to be immediately lowered to the bed by Edward.

Hovering over me, he rested on his elbow, taking my chin in his right hand while his lips sought mine out again. It didn't take long for the kiss to become heated, and before I knew it, his hand began trailing from my chin down my neck to my breast.

I moaned when he began kneading it, occasionally rolling my nipple between his fingers. Suddenly, desperate for more contact, I arched my back and thrust my hips against his groin, inciting a hiss from Edward.

He pushed his lower body against mine while his hand made its way up my dress to my breast. I whimpered when he pulled my cup to the side, his thumbing lightly brushing against my nipple.

"Baby," he whispered, breaking the fevered kiss. "I've gotta feel you …. Fuck!" I pressed my hips against his rock hard cock again.

His lips began grazing down my neck, and before I knew what was happening, he had my dress over my head and discarded on the floor. I whimpered when he began trailing kisses down my chest, his hands wrapping around to unclasp my bra before removing it from my body altogether.

Desperate for some skin-on-skin contact, I made quick work of removing his shirt, adding it to the growing pile next to the bed.

Bringing his lips back to mine, he lay flush against me, roughly groping my breast in his hand while his extremely hard cock rubbed against my wet core.

Breaking the kiss, he got up to remove his jeans and boxers, and then pulled my thong down my legs. He hovered over me again, his chest flush against mine as he positioned himself between my legs, placing opened-mouthed kisses on my lips. He ran his tongue over my lip and I gladly opened for him.

Edward quickly deepened the kiss as he slowly pushed into me. I whimpered in his mouth as he pushed forward, stretching me, almost uncomfortably so.

"So fucking tight," he grunted, thrusting forward and burying himself completely inside of me. "Fuck!"

"Oh … ooh … fuck," I groaned when his lips attached to my neck, gently nipping and sucking, his cock moving slowly in and out of me.

"God, baby," he murmured in my ear. "I love you."

"I love … oh, Edward … you … oh, God … too!" I turned my face in search of his mouth.

"So beautiful," he whispered against my lips, increasing his pace, while my whimpers and moans quickly filled the room around us.

When he pulled back to look at me, I hummed. He brought his lips back to mine, and I couldn't help the content sigh that escaped.

Edwards pace quickened, and when I started lifting my hips to meet his thrusts, he growled. "Fuck, baby, I'm not going to make it …."

"Oohhh," I moaned as he thrust harder, hitting my sweet spot. "Oh … God, Edward!"

"Come with me, baby," he whispered, taking my nipple in his mouth.

"O-oh … GOD!" I screamed, just as my orgasm shot through me.

"Fuck!" Edward grunted, finding his own release just before collapsing to my side.

"Come here, wife," he whispered, pulling me into his arms. I snuggled in closer to him and listened as our breathing returned to normal.

"Edward?" I whispered into the quiet space surrounding us, my thumb slowly circling the cold metal on my ring finger.

"Hmm?" he responded groggily.

"You're not going to regret this, are you?" I asked, my eyes never leaving my ring.

"Bella," he whispered, lifting my head to look at him. He rubbed my bottom lip with his thumb. "I love you. I have since the first time I saw you in the club … you're my girl, Isabella Marie _Cullen_."

"I hope so," I responded, though mostly to myself.

"Hey," he soothed. "I love you, okay? Only you." I nodded, tears filling my eyes. "I mean it, Bella. I love you, and I refuse to spend any more time away from you then I have to."

I let out a long, loud yawn, making Edward chuckle at me.

"How about we get a few hours of sleep now? Because I plan to ravish you again in the morning before we face real life."

I sighed, snuggling in closer. It didn't take me long to fall asleep wrapped in Edward's—_my husband's_—arms. I always slept better, when he was with me, and I desperately hoped that the events of the day meant I'd be sleeping a whole lot better each and every night to come.

****Author's Note****

**Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you angelnlove52 and Moonstruck Kitten for all the work you put into the chapter. It definitely wouldn't be what it is if it weren't for the two of you, so again, thank you :)**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 2**

**September 14, 2010…**

My head was pounding when I woke up the next morning; it literally felt like someone was in there with a damn jackhammer, hammering away, every pound silently saying, _That'll teach ya! _I knew better then to drink Tequila. I knew what it did to me the next day … what it did to me in the _now_, and yet I threw back I don't even know how many shots.

_Idiot!_

Rolling over, I slowly opened my eyes and searched the unfamiliar room, quickly realizing I was lying naked when I felt the slight discomfort between my legs.

Sitting up slightly, I cringed at the sharp pain that shot through my left eye before focusing on the room surrounding me. I did a quick room search for my clothes, and that's when I spotted the two-carat diamond and platinum wedding band on my finger.

_I got married?_

Bits and pieces of the night started flashing before my eyes, and I couldn't help the silly smile that covered my face. Despite the headache, I couldn't be happier.

Slowly, I climbed out of the bed, wrapping the sheet around myself as I bent to pick up my clothes.

"Good morning, _Mrs. Cullen_." Edward pulled me up into his arms, his glorious mouth purposely drawing out the 'Mrs. Cullen' part. Once again, I couldn't help the silly smile that quickly returned to my face.

"Mmm," I breathed happily, laying my head back on his bare chest. "Good morning."

"Why are you getting dressed?" Edward asked pulling the underwear from my hands. "Didn't I tell you I was going to ravish you again this morning?"

"Sorry, I was a little, um, nervous?" I explained sheepishly. "When I woke up naked and alone."

"You don't remember?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, no, I remember," I said turning around in his arms. "I just wasn't sure I remembered correctly."

"Oh." He smiled a brilliant smile before pressing his lips gently against mine. "Sorry I left you …. I tried to wait until you woke up, but I really needed to piss."

"No apologies necessary." I smiled, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "So, um … no regrets?"

"No regrets," he answered with another kiss. "You?"

I shook my head; I really had no regrets, questions, yes. "No regrets." I kissed him again, and he quickly deepened it, effectively bringing my attention back to him … away from the large elephant in the room.

_How was this even possible? How did he marry me when he was still technically married to _her_?_

He brought his hands down to cup my ass, pulling me flush against his growing erection. "Bella," he moaned breaking the kiss. "God, baby … I don't think I will ever tire of you."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I answered, "Good. 'Cause I know I won't of you." I placed another kiss on his lips, and then gently sucked on his bottom lip, making Edward groan in my mouth.

I knew I should be asking questions, but I was going to enjoy my newfound happiness for as long as I possibly could.

Deepening the kiss, he pulled the sheet from my body, causing my breath to hitch a bit. He wrapped his hands around the back of my thighs, lifting me so I could wrap my legs around his waist, and carried me to the bed. Quickly, he removed his boxers and joined me on the bed.

Crashing his lips against mine, he began stroking his fingers between my already wet folds. I was a whimpering mess of need already, and he'd barely even begun touching me.

Trailing his mouth down my neck to my breast, he took a nipple into his mouth, biting down gently. My whimpers were quickly replaced with moans when he shoved his fingers into me, his mouth continuing the assault on my breast.

I groaned when his thumb started circling my clit. "Edward, oh, God … I'm gonna …" And I came. Hard.

Edward didn't waste any time positioning himself between my legs, bringing his lips back to mine as he slowly pushed into me. I whimpered as he buried himself deep within me.

"Fuck!" he panted. "You're always so damn tight!"

Edward began to pick up his pace, and I moaned. "Oh … God!" He was thrusting harder and faster, his mouth paying homage to my breast, again. I could feel my release slowly building in my stomach as I lifted my hips to meet his thrusts.

Pulling away from my breast, Edward pushed my knees up to my chest, which in turn made him stroke new and exciting places. I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"Fuck!" Edward grunted. "Come for me, baby." He started rubbing his thumb vigorously over my clit and I came, screaming out his name as his seed emptied deep inside me.

Edward collapsed to my side, pulling me into his arms. "God, baby," he laughed. "You are definitely going to be the death of me."

I giggled. "Yeah, but what a way to go."

Edward chuckled, placing a kiss on my nose. "This is true." Glancing at the clock he sighed. "We should probably get going …. What time was Angela expecting you?"

"Around noon." I pouted.

He kissed me on the lips and then sat up. "Well, up and at 'em then, my love."

"Shouldn't you be trying to keep me _in_ bed, instead of rushing me out of it?" I smirked sitting up. "I obviously didn't do something right last night … or this morning—"

"Oh, stop," he snorted sitting up. "You know full well you do _everything _perfectly … unfortunately, we have more pressing obligations …. Now, get up." He pressed his lips to mine again and then climbed out of bed, taking the blankets with him.

"Fine." I pouted getting up. "But remember this when you're trying to get some tonight."

"And so it begins," he laughed, as I headed for the bathroom. "We haven't even been married a day and you're already cutting me off."

"Damn straight," I giggled closing the bathroom door behind me.

I climbed into the shower and let the water trail down my body as I thought back over the last few years and then about last night. Was he finally holding up his end of the deal? Were we finally going to get our happily ever after?

"Explain to me again why you insisted on getting a hotel room?" I grumped exiting the bathroom. Edward insisted on getting a suite for us to stay in last night. I personally thought it was crazy considering he paid quite a chunk of change for the condominium I lived in.

"Because I wanted your birthday to be special."

"And it couldn't be special in our bed?"

"Oh, it's always special in our bed …. I thought you'd enjoy a night away."

I moved to sit on his lap. "I definitely enjoyed it, Edward. I would have enjoyed it more had I thought to bring clean clothes, though."

"We can make a stop at home first—"

I shook my head. "No, its fine. But thanks."

"Mhmm, so are you ready to go then?" he asked, patting my thigh, signaling for me to get up.

I jumped up, nodding. "Yup."

I grabbed the bag that had my wedding dress in it, along with my purse and then slid on my shoes. I jumped a bit when Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Is the car at the club?" he asked, kissing my temple.

"Um, no?"

_Why would the car be at the club?_

"Because you drove it there?"

Apparently, I said that aloud.

I turned around in his arms. "I took a cab. I didn't see any reason to drive it there …. You always rent one?"

Edward eyed me skeptically for a second. "You're always complaining about me renting one when I _technically own yours_ …. I decided to avoid that fight—"

"It's not a fight," I interrupted. "It's just a disagreement … but, nonetheless, you didn't tell me you weren't renting a car, so I just assumed you were …. We'll just take a cab home and get the car." I shrugged. "No big deal."

He kissed my lips, and then released me. He grabbed his luggage, my hand and we exited the hotel suite. It wasn't difficult hailing a taxi, and before long, we were pulling up in front of our condo. I decided that since we were already there, I might as well run in and change my clothes. I opted for a pair of dark blue jean capri's and a red tank top.

I climbed into the passenger side of my BMW, pulling on my seatbelt as Edward reversed out of the garage. The ride was silent as I sat pondering the development in our relationship; what this would mean for me—for us. How could we make this work? What would _she_ have to say about this? Doesn't this mean she is out of the picture? She would have to be in order for this to be legal … shit, this is legal right?! I'm not going to get arrested for bigamy am I?

We arrived at Ben and Angela's about ten minutes later.

"Sorry we're late," I apologized, walking in the door that opened into the living room.

Angela smiled, walking out of the bedroom. "No biggy. I told you to get here whenever; you're the one that said noon …. What's up Edw—"

"_Daddy!_" Addison screamed interrupting Angela. I watched as my daughter hauled ass across the room to get to her father.

"Addie," Edward cooed, pulling our daughter into his arms.

"I miss ooh," Addison cried into her father's neck. I couldn't help the warm feeling the crept through my body when I looked at the ring on my finger, remembering what Edward had said last night.

"I missed you, too, baby girl," Edward whispered as he held her tight against him. "But guess what?"

"Wha?" She smiled sitting back to look at Edward's face.

"We're not gonna have to spend any more time apart, baby girl …. You and Momma are gonna live with Daddy, now."

Angela and Ben's eyes flashed up to me, and I looked to Edward, to Addison, and then back to Angela and Ben.

"Weally?" Addison asked, pure excitement showing on her face as she bounced around in her father's arms.

"Really, baby girl," Edward assured, kissing Addison on her forehead.

Angela was staring at me, silently waiting for me to elaborate on the newest turn of events.

"Yeah, um …" I glanced back to Edward, again, briefly wondering whether I should tell my friends about what occurred last night. "We actually … um, got married last night?"

"WHAT?!" Angela yelled looking to Edward then to me. "Oh my God, this is the best news you've told me in a very long time, girl …. I'm so happy for you!" She turned to look at Edward. "It's about damn time! Jesus!"

Edward laughed putting Addison down. "Hey, I know it, alright? But my reasons were logical ..."

"We're all just going to agree to disagree on this one, Edward." Angela smiled, but I knew she didn't at all agree with Edward on that one.

Edward didn't say anything as he glanced to me and then to Ben, nervously.

"So, are you going to Boston then?" Angela asked breaking the awkwardness, kinda.

I looked to Edward on this one. I assumed that's where we'd be living, at least for the time being, but I couldn't be sure. I knew Edward had obligations in Boston, and I only hoped he was planning on taking the two of us with him … otherwise he just lied to our two year old, as well as myself when he said we weren't going to be apart any longer.

"Um, at least for the time being?" Edward answered a bit hesitantly. "I can't just up and leave, I—"

"Edward," I interrupted. "I get it. I just wasn't sure …."

"I meant it when I said we weren't going to be apart anymore, Bella—"

"Daddy," Addison whined, pulling on Edward's pants. "I has cwacka?"

"Here, honey," Angela said, reaching for Addison's hand. "I'll get you a cracker."

I was suddenly very embarrassed. Edward and I were having what should have been a very private conversation between the two of us, in the middle of my long time friend and her husband's living room. As I said, embarrassed.

"Actually," I said finally finding my voice again. "Addie, we're gonna go. You can have crackers at home."

"Oh, its okay, Bella." Angela smiled reaching for a cupboard. "I'll put them in a plastic baggie and she can take them with her."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Thanks."

Ten minutes later, we were back in the BMW, heading home.

* * *

The story of Edward and I was very, very complicated …

We met about four years ago, and you know that whole saying, "it was love at first sight" well, that was Edward and I. The problem was he wasn't technically available to love me back. He was married. Newly married at that. I guess I should say he wasn't suppose to love me back, because he definitely fell in love with me. We tried to stay away from each other, we really did, but it was pointless … so I eventually became his dirty little secret. We dated for about a year before I got pregnant with Addison and that's when things took a turn. I couldn't actually _work_ anymore … being pregnant and all …. So Edward made sure I was taken care of—over the top taken care of if you ask me, but whatever, Addie and I didn't need or want for anything and I was able to spend all of my time with our beautiful daughter.

We'd see each other as often as possible before Addison came along, but when we found out about her, everything changed. He started flying me to Boston a few times a month, and we'd sneak away for as long as he could pull it off. He'd come to Vegas as much as he could, but it wasn't nearly enough. I often asked—okay, wondered, because I never asked—why he didn't move Addison and me closer to him? He kind of explained it at one point, though I didn't really like his answer.

I hated being his dirty little secret, but I loved him more than anything and knew it was only for a little while … then Addison and I would get our happily ever after. I'm not saying it was easy, because knowing when he wasn't with us, he was with _her_ really drove me insane. I don't even know how many times I ended it—yeah, that never worked—and don't even get me started on the amount of times my subconscious self decided it was time to out him … _us _….

Tanya and Edward had been dating about two years when she approached the subject of her trust fund with him. It was stated that the funds wouldn't be released to her until her fifth wedding anniversary, and not a day sooner. If she didn't marry she didn't get the money. Edward said he had already been considering asking Tanya to marry him, so he figured what the heck? They were in love and he didn't foresee any problems rising, so they sat down and discussed the pre-nup.

Edward said there was no way he was going into a marriage without protecting himself. They agreed that if Edward decided to end the marriage at any point, _for any reason_, before the five year mark that he would have to pay Tanya the amount of the trust plus two million for each year they were married. If Tanya left she left with nothing. If they divorced after the five year mark then Tanya would walk away with her money and Edward would walk away with his, never giving her a dime.

So they signed the pre-nup and started their happy lives together. A year later, I came into the picture.

* * *

"Edward," I murmured, snuggling into his side as he sat on the couch watching the nightly news. We had just gotten Addison down for the night and I figured it was time to ask the question I'd been dying to ask all day.

"Yes, my love." He smiled, pressing a kiss to my lips. I happily returned it, but refused to let us get off track this time. I needed answers and I needed them now.

"How is this even possible?" I asked, gently fingering the platinum band that circled his ring finger. I didn't look at him; I just kept my eyes fixated on his ring, occasionally glancing at the large diamond on my left hand.

"Bella," he breathed, gently lifting my face to look at him. "I filed for a divorce nearly two months ago ..." I gasped, but he didn't give me a chance to say anything. "I was going to tell you the last time I was here, but …" He shook his head; I assume remembering the not so great memories of the last time we were together.

I nodded, not needing him to explain. I knew why he didn't tell me … I wouldn't have told me either. Not after what I told him. I was lucky he was there at all, lucky we were sitting there together, let alone as husband and wife.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I cried, not even realizing I was until I felt the tear hit my cheek. "So sorry …."

"Baby," he whispered, wiping my tears away before pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I know why you did it …. I'm not saying it doesn't bother me, but I get it …. Which is why I'm here …. I know despite it all, _this_ is where I'm meant to be. With you and our beautiful daughter …. I love _you_, Isabella _Cullen_."

I smiled, claiming his lips as my own. This kiss was needy, as I tried to relay how sorry I really was …. How much I really did love him. "I love you, too," I whispered against his lips when I finally needed a breath.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe that were true."

****Author's Note****

**Review, review, review :D **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them :)**

**Thank you angelnlove52! I am having a great time doing this rewrite with you! I am truly blessed you decided to take me on! Thank you Moonstruck Kitten for your help as well! As I've said before, you BOTH are the best beta's a girl could ask for :)**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 3**

**BPOV ~**

**September 15, 2006…**

"Hey, Izzy … there's a table out there asking for 'the hot little number' that was on stage when they walked in …."

"And how exactly do you know they're talking about me Vic?" I asked, eyeing Victoria skeptically. People didn't generally ask for me, I was too new to this game, they didn't know me by name yet … either that or it was because I was so young, they didn't want the possibility of jail time if they got caught.

"Because they said 'long, brown hair, white as a ghost skin' …. Oh, and 'she looks like she might be jailbait', but your secret's safe with me," Victoria stated smugly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're talking about you. And trust me, you want them asking for you … hot stuff. That's all I'm gonna say."

I rolled my eyes and checked my hair and makeup in the mirror. I still wasn't entirely convinced they were asking for me, but I needed the money, so I went with it. "Well in that case, where do I find this _hot stuff_?"

"Oh, you won't miss them." Victoria laughed. "But, maybe I'll show ya … just in case …."

"Just in case," I agreed, giggling as I followed Victoria out of the dressing room. She moved like a seasoned lioness sneaking in on her next kill. Her hips swayed seductively to the music, matching a hypnotic rhythm for any and all who paid attention. The boss always said I could learn a few things from her—her pizzazz was just what I needed to make this into a career. I was just beginning to understand what he was talking about.

Vicky led me to the darkest corner of the club, a corner I didn't usually like going to, because God only knew what happened over there, but I figured I was safe if Victoria was with me.

My eyes landed on a table full of men, and quite possibly another female, I couldn't be sure though, it was dark. The men definitely lived up to the 'hot stuff' Victoria labeled them. There were five, maybe six, and all of them—and I do mean _all_ of them—were fucking gorgeous.

You could tell they were made of money by the wealth that showed in their structured suits, even with the jackets thrown over the back of the chairs and their shirt sleeves rolled up. The way their ties hung limply around their necks and gave them that 'just out of the boardroom' look. I was taught to look at the money signs that were possible in these situations, but I couldn't help but to notice the attractiveness that surrounded me … almost intimidating me.

"See, I knew you'd find her," a tall blonde man cooed at Victoria. "My man here," he went on to say, placing his hand on the shoulder of the gentleman beside him. "He hasn't shut up about her since we walked in the door."

My eyes were immediately drawn to the guy, a very fine—fucking Greek God fine—man sitting to his right. When my gaze reached his piercing green eyes, I was a little startled to find them already locked with mine.

Generally, something like that would freak me the hell out, but for some reason or another, with him, it didn't.I wondered why that was. Looking at him, gave me an odd sense of comfort, turning this dark, intimidating corner into a realm of excitement and anticipation. The possibilities were endless and I couldn't wait to discover them all.

"Yes, I found her." Victoria smiled, pushing me forward a bit. "But I will warn you … she has quite the fan base. So I'd be sure to make it worth her while—" I had no clue what she was talking about, I had no fan base.

"I'll tell ya what," the blonde interrupted. "If you both stay, we'll make it more than worth your while."

I shrugged when Vicky turned to look at me, and apparently, that was all it took. The next thing I knew, hundred dollar bills were tossed onto the table, and four of the six men quickly found a seat. I couldn't help the giggle that fell from my mouth when I turned to Vicky. She was barely hiding her laughter, which, quite frankly shocked me. Vicky never held anything back. It really was funny watching them; you'd think they'd never seen strippers do their thing before.

"How much for a private show?" Just the voice sent shivers down my spine. It was so smooth … so fucking sexy.

I turned to look at whoever was inquiring, and nearly passed out when I came face to face with the Greek God. "Um … I, uh …."

_Please tell me I'm having a fucking stroke. _I thought, feeling that familiar burn start to rise from the tops of my breast; my face was probably seven shades of red.

He chuckled a bit, tucking an invisible piece of hair behind my ear. "Better yet, what's been your best night?"

"My best night?" I asked, not really understanding his question.

"Yeah, your best night," he stated as if it were any ordinary question. I must be really dense, 'cause I just wasn't getting the question. "What's the most you've taken home in a night?" he went on to explain, apparently sensing my confusion.

"Uh …" I stuttered, again, stupidly. Retard, that's me, Isabella Marie Swan.

"I'll give you five grand, right now," he whispered into my ear. "All you have to do is leave with me."

My entire body was on fire, and I had this overwhelming urge to attach myself to him. I literally wanted to crawl inside his skin and live there.

"Leave with you?" I whispered back, considering he still hadn't stepped back into his own space.

"Mmhmm," he hummed. "Leave with me. I wanna see this glorious body and all its perfection … but it's far too dark in here for me to appreciate it the way it deserves."

_Jesus, you do realize if we got just a bit closer, he could probably stick his thing right in …._

"And where do you suggest we go?" I asked, not sure why I was even considering it in the first place. I knew better than to leave with a complete stranger, but I couldn't help but to inquire.

"I have a beautiful, well lit, room at the Palms …." He trailed off and I went weak in the knees.

_God, please tell me you want to do more than just watch me take my clothes off in this room._

"Y-your room?" I squeaked.

_You're seriously considering this?_ my subconscious asked.

_Yes, shut it!_ I screamed back.

"Yes, my room," he answered, his voice soft and seductive, calling to every part of me.

I glanced back at the table, noticing almost everyone else had left. Only the guy Vicky was giving a very thorough lap dance to remained.

"I don't even know your name," I murmured sheepishly, turning back to him.

He smiled a smile that should be illegal, and supplied, "Edward."

I glanced at the clock over the bar, my shift was actually ending as we spoke, and honestly, what did I really have to lose? I could use the money.

_What do you have to lose? Really?_ my subconscious asked. _Your life!_

"I promise you'll be safe with me," Edward informed, almost as though he could hear my thoughts.

It was strange really, but for some reason I already knew I'd be safe with him.

"I just have to change," I said, turning my attention back to him. "I'm not allowed to take the outfits with me." Edward beamed at my answer and it made my heart flutter a bit. "Meet me in the alley around back in ten minutes."

He nodded, and turned to walk away.

"Hey, Edward?" I called out, as a thought occurred to me.

He quickly turned around to look at me. "Yeah?"

"What room at the Palace?" I inquired. _I never said I was stupid._

His brows drew together. "The Palace?" he repeated, before shaking his head, a slight smirk upon his lips.

"The Palms," he clarified with a smirk. "Playboy Penthouse. Call the front desk and ask whom the room is registered to. They'll tell you James Wheeler." He pointed to his friend. "I'm not trying to pull anything over on you," he said, sincerity in his voice. "If you'd rather not go, it's fine. I completely understand."

I smiled, shaking my head. "No, it's fine. I'll see you in ten." He smiled, nodded his head once before turning to walk away, again.

Don't ask me what I was thinking, because honestly, I didn't know. It wasn't something I'd usually even consider, but something told me to go with him.

I wasn't going to be stupid about it, however. I told Vicky where I was going; she wasn't too happy with me, but she didn't argue—shocking the shit out of me. To cover all my bases, I asked Edward's friend his name, where they were staying, and whose name the room would be under.

He told me his name was James Wheeler, the room was under his name, and they were staying at the Palms, in the Playboy Penthouse. Just as Edward said he would. He then proceeded to tell me that Edward's last name was Cullen … as in Cullen Oil and Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the world-renowned cardiologist.

_What the fuck?_ I thought, walking back to the dressing room. What could this guy possibly want with me, plain Jane, Isabella Swan, when he could have any girl he wanted? Most importantly, what the hell was I doing? I must have finally lost my mind.

_Five grand!_ That's what I kept telling myself as I changed back into my street clothes. A girl could do a lot with five grand. Playing a little bit of detective and covering my bases just a little further, I typed in Cullen Oil into the Google search bar on my cell to see what I could pull up. Most of the information was boring about the company and stocks. At the bottom of the page, the address caught my eye. Boston, MA. Edward was a long way from home.

Surprisingly, my heart sunk a little with that realization.

* * *

Edward was standing against the building when I walked out the back entrance. His eyes immediately snapped to mine when he heard the door close, and he wasted no time getting to my side.

"Please tell me this isn't how you leave the club every night," he whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him as we started walking.

I shook my head. "We're not supposed to leave unless a bouncer walks us to our car, but I knew you were waiting for me. I wouldn't have stepped out if I hadn't seen you."

"Good."

We walked to the main drag and Edward hailed a taxi. Acting the part of a gentleman, Edward allowed me to slide in first. When he joined me, he made sure our bodies lined up. The warmth from his body caused anywhere we touched to feel as if it were on fire.

"Why did you want me to leave with you?" I whispered, leaning into him, for privacy or just to be closer—I couldn't decide.

He followed my lead, leaning in to whisper, "I already told you."

I shook my head, trying to clear the haze his closeness had brought on. "You're seriously going to pay me five grand?" I asked incredulously. "Just so you can watch me take my clothes off in brighter lighting?"

He turned his face and his nose brushed against my cheek. "That's _exactly_ what I'm paying you for."

I shivered, as his hand slowly inched its way closer to my bare thigh. We both gasped at the bolt of electricity that surged through us when his skin met mine.

Edward pulled back as if he'd been burnt, then folded his hands on his lap and stared out of the window as if nothing happened. Leaving me to wonder what he was thinking.

Eventually, I turned my attention to my window mirroring his pose, figuring if he wanted to play aloof, then I could too.

Just as we were arriving at the Palms, he squeezed my thigh lightly, just below the hem of my skirt. I gasped, glancing at him before looking down at my exposed thigh. The contact had been brief, no more than a few seconds, but I could still feel the heat of his touch. I absentmindedly touched it, lifting my eyes to meet Edward's curious gaze.

He shook his head slightly, handed the cabby some money, then opened the car door. He extended his hand to me and I took it, relishing in the odd electricity of his touch. He stared at our joined hands as if he were puzzling over it, before smiling brilliantly at me, and leading me into the hotel.

As we walked by the gift shop, a thought occurred to me. "I, um …" I hesitated, pulling Edward to a stop.

"Everything okay?"

"I, um …" I looked around nervously, and then leaned in, whispering in his ear, "Did you want me to get something, to, um … wear? My undergarments aren't exactly stripper-ish …." My lips unintentionally brushed against his ear and a violent shiver ran through his body.

He groaned and pulled his hand through his hair.

_Fuck, those are some lucky ass fingers._ I thought, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth._ What I wouldn't give to run my fingers through his hair._

He wrapped his arm, the one with the hand still attached to mine, around my back and stepped closer as he brought his mouth back to my ear. "Oh, I think I'm quite happy with what you're wearing now." His lips intentionally brushed against my ear. "I will say though, I'm rather curious to see what these non-stripper-_ish_ undergarments look like."

"O-0-kay," I whimpered._ I fucking whimpered! _I scolded myself, all the while mentally face palming myself in embarrassment.

He chuckled then led me toward the elevator.

The penthouse was quiet when we arrived. I assumed everyone was still out, but I was sure his friends would be back at some point. I couldn't help but be nervous they'd want me to do an _actual_ show.

I'd never done a private show.

I was always too afraid they would get handsie. In the club I was protected, but in the privacy of someone's home or room, it was just little ol' me against them, and there was definitely no question who'd win that fight.

Not that I thought any of Edward's friends would get out of control to that extent, but still, realistically, five or six drunk men and one half-naked girl.

Um, no thank you.

I didn't mind doing a private show for Edward, though.

_You actually hope he does get a bit handsie, don't ya, ya whore?_

_Shut it!_

"How 'bout a drink?" Edward asked, interrupting my internal debate. "You are old enough to drink, right? I mean I don't know—"

"Yes, Edward," I interrupted. "I'm old enough."

He nodded and walked toward the bar. "So, what's your poison?" he asked, grabbing a clear bottle from the bar.

"Um … I'm not really much of a drinker. So, uh, whatever you're drinking?" It definitely came out as a question.

"Well, I'm drinking vodka on the rocks," he smiled, scooping out some ice. "Personally, I think that'd be a bit strong for you. I mean, if you're not a drinker …. How 'bout vodka and cranberry?"

"So, you think I'm a light-weight?" I asked, jutting my hip out a bit, obtaining a playful attitude.

"Um, no—" he started to say, but I quickly cut him off.

"Then I'll take what you're drinking." Don't ask me what possessed me to say that, because I had absolutely no flipping idea. I wasn't a drinker, and I honestly didn't know what 'vodka on the rocks' was.

Edward just shook his head. "Okay," he said. "Suit yourself. I'm guessing I should probably call down and have the front desk send up some clothes …." He drug his eyes the entire length of my body, twice. "Size four?"

I just stood there staring at him, completely dumbfounded.

He chuckled, handing me a glass full of a clear liquid and ice. I automatically brought it to my lips and took a drink. Probably a larger drink than was wise because, oh my God, I was lucky I didn't spit it all over him. That shit burned. Oh, fuck, did it burn, and the taste, Jesus Jenny, it was God-awful.

I looked at Edward as I finally got it all down, hoping like hell that it stayed down. He just smirked at me, as if the fucker was silently saying, "I told you so."

"It sucks ass, okay?" I exclaimed, sitting the glass back on the bar. "Where's the cranberry juice?"

He chuckled and reached into the mini fridge. He poured some cranberry juice into my glass and slid it toward me.

"Thank you." I smiled, lifting the glass to my lips.

"You're welcome," he said, taking a drink of his own. "So your friend said you're name was Izzy?"

"Um, _yeah_?"

"That sounded more like a question," he chuckled, walking around the bar, coming to a stop in front of me. "You're not sure if your name is Izzy?"

"My name is actually Isabella, but at the club they call me Izzy … everyone else just calls me Bella."

"Hmm." He leaned in to me, his nose brushing my cheek. "So what do _I_ call you? Isabella, Izzy, or Bella?"

"B-Bella."

"Good," he chirped, stepping back. "So, _Bella_, I thought we'd do this _dance_ in here."

"O-okay," I whimpered, looking to the direction he was pointing.

He smiled beautifully, grabbing my hand and pulling me in the direction of the bedroom. I gasped when we walked into the large bedroom and Edward rubbed his hands together in mock excitement. He turned on some music—I couldn't even tell you what it was, but it actually had a good beat to it—then he pushed a chair to the center of the room and took a seat.

I glanced around the room—it was definitely brighter then the club—and then back to him. I pulled my shirt over my head as sexily as I could, and then moved closer to him, seductively swaying my hips in time with the music as I worked on pushing my skirt down my legs with just my thumbs, making sure to slide my hands down the sides of my thighs just as I was taught. It finally hit the floor as I came to a stop directly in front of him.

He looked me up and down again before settling into his chair a bit more.

I took a deep breath and crawled onto his lap, successfully shoving my cleavage right in his face as I moved to straddle him. I lowered myself and started moving on his lap, occasionally, but unintentionally, thrusting against his groin. My tits were bouncing around in his face as I reached behind me to release my bra.

The moment my bra pulled from my breasts, and Edward could actually see them, he let out a growl that was almost frightening. His head fell back a bit while his eyes rolled back in his head, and I do believe I may have felt him grow harder underneath me.

I may have accidently—on purpose—brushed against him.

I waited for him to right himself and open his eyes before I started undulating on his lap. I may have put my chest closer to his face than I would have for most men, but when his hands lightly ghosted over my hips and stayed there, I knew he didn't mind the even closer view.

His hands griped my thighs only for a second before he let go. I couldn't stop the whimper of disappointment from escaping. Edward froze for a second, as if he were trying to read my body's reactions, and then slowly gripped my thighs again. I moaned, dropping down into his embrace.

He moved one hand up my back, wrapping his other in my hair, and brought my mouth to his. I couldn't believe the strangled whimper I let out when his lips touched mine. He sucked at my bottom lip, lightly gliding his tongue over it. I granted his unspoken request and opened my mouth to him.

His hands were all over my back while mine threaded in his hair. I groaned when my hardened nipples dragged across his cloth-covered chest, grinding my center against his very erect cock.

Edward inhaled sharply at the contact, breaking the kiss. His lips moved down my neck while his hands shimmied up my sides, coming to rest just below my breasts. He adjusted me slightly on his lap, causing me to sit directly over his very large manhood. Not once did his lips leave my body as they nipped and tasted my neck and jaw line.

I gasped when he licked the skin of my chest, while his hands gently cupped my breasts. He palmed them gently, occasionally tweaking a nipple, while his mouth closed over the areola of my left breast, and his hand traveled to my ass.

I was so wrapped up in what he was doing to my chest, I couldn't pay attention to how far south his hand traveled. I wasn't expecting it when his finger slid lightly under the edge of my thong, mere centimeters from my wet core, but I was most definitely not expecting the reaction it got from me either.

I moaned, tugging roughly on his hair as I shifted my hips just enough to move his finger closer to where I wanted it. Edward, of course, caught my shift for what it was, and moved not just one finger, but two, to my opening.

He ran his fingers over my wet folds, dipping inside to tease the sensitive flesh within. I moaned loudly, and rubbed against his hand, guiding his fingers to the spot that begged to be touched. A shudder tore through me as he gave up his teasing dance, and circled his thumb around and over my aching clit, while slipping a finger inside my dripping channel.

"_Ohhh _… shiiitt …" I groaned, basking in the sensations he was causing.

Edward released the nipple he was currently assaulting, slipping a second finger inside of me. "Shit, you're so fucking tight …."

He wasted no time pumping his fingers; sucking my other nipple into his mouth.

"_Fuuucckkkkk _… ohhh, shit …."

Edward released my nipple, whispering, "Does that feel good?"

_Fuck, yes, it feels good! _I thought, gripping his hair tightly and yanking his head back, crashing my lips against his. Edward deepened the kiss, his tongue roughly caressing mine, his fingers not once losing their beat.

I whined when he removed his fingers, my hips moving on their own fevered search. He quickly stood from the chair, wrapped my legs around his waist, and gripped my ass as he moved me to the bed. All the while, his mouth still attached to mine as he laid me down, quickly crawling over me.

I groaned when his hard cock rested against my throbbing center, and he ground into me. My legs tightened around him, holding him where I wanted him. Following my silent request, he thrust against me again, and again, and again.

He was only dry humping me, but fuck, did it feel good.

"Jesus, Bella," Edward groaned breaking the kiss, his mouth moving down my jaw. "You're so fucking wet."

"It feels … _ohhh_, so … gooooddd …."

Edward sucked a nipple into his mouth and shifted so his hand could move slowly down my stomach to the elastic of my thong. "I'm sure I could make you feel even better."

"P-p-please?" I begged as his mouth went back to sucking on my nipple, his hand inching its way inside the material.

Edward wasted no time finding my center again, quickly shoving his fingers inside.

"You're so fucking tight," Edward grunted, pumping his fingers. "Fuck! I can just imagine what it'd feel like putting my dick in you." He kissed his way up to my ear, and then whispered, "Just the thought alone is almost enough to make me cum."

I let out a whispery moan, bucking my hips as he continued to pump his fingers. "Ohh, fuck … you, ohhh, God … shit, I'm … I ..." Talk about earth shattering orgasm, fuck. "Shiiiiiiiiiittttt, Ed-ward."

He brought his lips back to mine for a searing kiss as he continued to pump his fingers through my release. Once my walls stopped constricting around him, he pulled his fingers out and brought them to his mouth. I watched in awe as he sucked my juices off his fingers.

"Delicious," he breathed, moving between my legs. He brought his lips back to mine and surprisingly enough, it didn't bother me that he'd just got done sucking my cum off his fingers. It was kind of a turn on.

I immediately wrapped my legs around him and whimpered in his mouth when his very hard cock rested against me. God, if only we were naked, well, completely naked. I was in nothing but my thong and knee-high stockings. Edward, however, was still completely clothed.

He broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down my neck, nipping and sucking as he thrust his groin against my center. I squeezed tighter with my legs, trying to keep him there, silently hoping he'd get the hint and continue thrusting or something.

Edward chose the something.

He groaned, sucking my hardened bud into his mouth. He had one hand under my arm and tangled in my hair while the other slowly caressed every inch of my body that was within his reach. I was breathless when he started kneading my breast, occasionally pinching and pulling at my nipple, his mouth still paying homage to the other.

I gasped when he pinched my nipple between his thumb and index finger, before replacing them with his teeth. Slowly, he inched his hand down and into the front of my thong. He pulled back and looked at me as he brought both hands to pull it down.

I sucked in a breath, but didn't move to stop him.

He pulled my legs free from the fabric, tossing it to the side, before spreading them wide. He lowered his face to my very wet folds and licked at my center.

I gasped, griping the bed sheets in my hands. "Oh, shiiitt …."

Edward continued to fuck me into a whimpering mess with his tongue, my head thrashing back and forth, as I clenched the sheet in my hands almost painfully.

He replaced his tongue with his fingers, and brought his mouth up to my ear, gently sucking the lobe into his mouth. "I wanna feel you, Bella. Fuck_!_ I wanna feel that tight little pussy …."

I moaned, bringing my hands down to remove his belt.

Edward pulled back, yanked his shirt over his head, before taking off his belt. He discarded his jeans and boxers while I rested on my elbows, staring at him, watching his muscles bunch and release with each action. I was sure my eyes fell out of my face when I got a view of how big he actually was.

When my eyes finally met his, the little shit was smirking down at me.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked, staring deeply into his green orbs.

He crawled up the bed, hovering over me, forcing me to lie back down on the bed. He brought his lips to mine, his cock nudging my entrance as he reached over to pull out the drawer in the bedside table. He continued to nip and suck at my lips awhile longer, and then pulled back, resting on his heels.

I watched as he slid the condom over his very large erection, and then he leaned forward, hovering over me, urging me to lie back. He brought his lips back to mine and kissed me passionately before breaking the kiss.

"Are you sure about this?" he whispered against my lips, the head of his cock slipping between my folds.

I wrapped my legs and arms around him, bringing my lips back to his, silently urging him forward. He thrust forward, burying himself completely in me.

"Fuck!" Edward hissed. "So … _tight_."

I gasped, my eyes clenched closed tightly, as I waited for the pain to subside.

I was not exactly a virgin, but considering I'd only ever had sex once, I might as well have been, and not to mention, Edward's cock was probably double the size of the other guy's.

"Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, concern all over his face.

"Yeah, it's just been awhile. And you're not exactly … _small_."

He smirked, bringing his lips to mine, sucking and nipping at them as he slowly started moving inside of me. I ran my hands the entire length of his back, the areas I could touch anyway, lightly caressing his skin as he worked himself in and out of me. His hands lost in my hair, my moans lost in his mouth as he pushed me closer and closer to another release.

My entire body was on fire and I felt that this stranger had been a part of me my whole life. Yes, I knew absolutely nothing about him, but I felt as though I knew everything about him. I felt as if this was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Edward broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down my neck, toward my chest. I whimpered when he cupped my breast, his thumb brushing over my pebbled nipple. I almost missed the "perfect" he whispered just before his mouth closed over my areola, I felt his tongue brush over it and moaned.

I arched my back and lifted my hips, meeting his thrusts. He groaned, pulling away from my nipple and back on his heels. With his hands on my hips, he moved me hard and fast on his engorged cock.

"Come here," he breathed, pulling me up so I was straddling his hips, and his hands came to rest on mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, crashing my lips to his, nipping and sucking, as he moved me. It didn't take long for me to get the rhythm, and then his hands moved to explore every inch of my body.

_Fuck! This feels good._ I thought breaking the kiss.

I arched my back, and moaned. "_Ohhh … _Edward … _oh, God_."

He ducked his head, sucked my nipple into his mouth, and groped at the other breast with expert handling.

My whimpers and moans filled the room while I worked myself on Edward's cock, his mouth and fingers twisting, pinching, and pulling on my buds, occasionally nipping with his teeth.

Edward released my nipple and brought his lips to mine. "You feel so good ..."

He quickly laid me back on the bed, pushed my knees up to my chest, and started slamming into me with wild abandon. I moaned, arching my back, forcing his cock to hit just the right spot inside of me. Edward pinched my nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and then brought his lips to mine, his hand still groping at my breast.

I wrapped my legs around him, lifting my hips to meet his thrusts, and I could feel my body start to tighten. I knew my breaking point was fast approaching.

"Edward …" I groaned, breaking the kiss. I closed my eyes and let my head flop back on the pillow.

Edward nipped at my chin. "Let it go, baby …."

He pinched my nipple and my vision went black with white specks. I screamed out his name, and came, hard. Edward thrust a couple more times, and then lost his load into the condom.

He collapsed on top of me, and I must have passed out shortly after, because the next thing I knew, I was being moved under the blankets, and two very safe and secure arms were surrounding me. I heard him whisper something that sounded like, "Why couldn't I have met you first," and then sleep found me once again.

****Author's Note****

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the reviews. I REALLY appreciate them! Please please please keep them coming, they are my inspiration :)**

**Thank you, angelnlove52, for all your hard work with this chapter! I appreciate all that you have done and continue to do with my stories!**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 4**

**EPOV ~**

**September 16, 2006…**

I was startled awake by a door slamming, but the faint smell of coconut coming from the _brown_ hair my face was buried in at the moment, reminded me I was not at home, and the naked girl lying in my arms, was definitely not my wife.

_Why are you not surprised you're waking up with a naked _brunette_ in your arms?_ my subconscious asked.

Well, because I remembered everything from the night before. I remembered walking into that strip club, and the brunette goddess dancing on the stage taking over my every thought. I remembered it being _me_ who asked _her_ to do a private show for _one_ in _my _fucking hotel room, but the thing that stuck out the most in my mind … it was _me_ who was silently praying I'd be doing a whole lot more than just watching her remove her clothes.

_So you do remember fucking that brunette goddess, then?_ that stupid voice asked, again.

_Fuck and yes!_ I will never forget fucking that beauty.

_Why don't you seem sorry?_

_Because I'm not?_

_Tanya Denali-Cullen? Does that ring any guilty bells for ya?_

Hey, I didn't say it was right not to be sorry ….

I knew I cheated on my wife. I also knew I had never cheated before, that that was not the man I was raised to be. Obviously, I knew I should be feeling like shit right about now … but I didn't. I couldn't regret it and I couldn't explain it. In that moment, I honestly had no guilt over my actions. I couldn't say I wouldn't at some point, but right then and there, regret and guilt were the last emotions on my mind.

What I couldn't seem to get out of my mind was, why that complete stranger felt more familiar than my own wife. Why she felt as if she fit along my body more perfectly than the woman I pledged to spend my life with. It was as if where I ended, she began … like she was an extension of me. Or, why I was more concerned with hurting the girl I'd only just met, than the well-being of my spouse.

I honestly hated that I was deceiving Bella. I actually had multiple inner debates with myself last night on whether or not to tell her, but in the end, I opted not to. Why you ask? Because I'm a selfish motherfucker and I wasn't about to take a chance she'd be the good-girl I knew she was.

_Most good girls aren't strippers, Edward._

_Awe, can it_. She was a good girl, and most good girls didn't fuck married men. So I decided I wasn't going to tell her anything that could have possibly changed her mind last night.

Nope. Sorry. Just wasn't gonna happen.

I was still undecided.

I felt Bella start to stir in my arms, and I suddenly had a really weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

_Huh, this must be what it feels like to have butterflies in your stomach,_ I thought wrapping her tighter in my arms.

She stretched slightly, her tight little ass rubbing against my morning wood.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped, or the knee jerk reaction that caused me to pull her closer and thrust my cock against her ass, but when she moaned, arched her back, and effectively thrust her ass back against my erection, the need and want … the fucking _pull_ I felt the night before, returned full force.

I pulled her flush against me and rolled her more onto her stomach, my cock coming to rest right between her legs. I thrusted my hips forward, gliding my cock between her wet folds, coating it in her juices over and over again while my lips nipped and sucked at every inch of skin I could reach.

Slowly, I brought my hands to her tits and started groping the fuck out of them. It didn't take long for her whimpers, and the occasional moan, to fill the room. Then I remembered she seemed to like it when I paid special attention to her nips, so I started rolling them both between my thumb and forefingers, occasionally pinching and tugging on them, causing them to stand at full salute.

She was in a constant whimper or moan as I continued to coat my dick with her delicious juices, my mouth sucking ruthlessly on her neck, while my hands went on groping the shit out of her breasts. I knew there was probably going to be a mark on her neck, but I really didn't care.

"_Edward …_" she whimpered, thrusting her ass back to meet my groin. My only response was a groan against her neck—okay, maybe it was grunt. "_Please?"_ she pleaded.

_Who the fuck could say no to that_? _Sure the fuck not me!_

I shifted both of us slightly, and guided my cock into _my_ fucking paradise.

_What? She's so fucking hot and wet, it might as well be fucking paradise. One designed and created just for me._

I believe we both may have moaned when I was completely seated inside her.

"Fuck," I groaned against her shoulder blade. "You are sooo fucking tight."

I pulled back until just the head was incased, and then thrust back into her. She moaned, so I repeated my action, she moaned again, only this time she pushed her ass against me, meeting my thrust forward, creating a delicious slapping sound as her skin met mine.

"You like that?" I taunted, slamming into her.

"_Ohhh_," she moaned. "_Yes _… fuck!"

"Come here," I instructed, pulling her hips up, my cock continuing to thrust into her. "Get on your knees … put your hands on the wall." I helped pull her up to her knees, holding her hips as she brought her hands to the wall, my cock still inside of her. "Brace yourself."

Once she situated herself against the wall, I brought my right hand up to cover hers and started moving my cock inside of her. I turned her face to me, and attached my lips to hers, it didn't take but a second for the kiss to become heated, and before long, my mouth was catching whimper after whimper.

Bella broke the kiss gasping for air. "Ohhh, Gooodddd …."

"Shit, baby," I grunted, bringing my hands back to her breasts, roughly groping them.

"Fuuuuuck," she groaned, arching her back.

I pinched her nipples, and she came screaming my name, effectively milking my cock for everything I had as well. We both collapsed to the bed, panting, and gasping for air.

"Good thing I don't work tonight," she laughed, struggling to catch her breath. "My legs just went on strike."

"You don't work tonight?" I asked through my own struggles. She shook her head no, sitting up against the headboard.

"Well damn, whatever will I do with myself tonight?" I asked, copying her actions.

She giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my **entire **life. "I'm sure you can find something to do …" she retorted. "When do you go back to Boston?"

_That's funny, I don't remember telling her I was from Boston._

"When did I tell you I was from Boston?" I asked, turning to look at her.

She met my eyes for a second, and then quickly looked away. "Oh, um … you didn't. Your friend James did … he, um … also told me your last name was Cullen?"

_Oh, goody, goody gumdrops,_ I thought, ready to kill my friend. Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking?

"Are you mad?" she asked, pulling the sheet tighter around her chest.

_Why do girls always do that? I mean, come on we just finished fucking!_

I gently grabbed her chin so I could see her eyes. "Not at you."

She narrowed her eyes at me, first in what appeared to be confusion, but it quickly shifted to anger. "Why are you mad at him?" she hissed. "Didn't you want me to know who you were … or where you were from?"

"Um…" I started to say, but then cut myself off.

_Yeah smart-ass, whatcha gotta say now?_

She started shuffling away from me, trying to get off the bed, and I panicked. I couldn't let her leave. I knew if she left now, I would never see her again. Just the thought of never seeing Bella again, hurt like fucking hell—it made me feel empty. Like if she left, she'd be taking my heart with her.

Though I'd gladly let her take it, I didn't want her to leave, not yet … maybe not ever.

I grabbed her wrist the moment her feet touched the floor. "Please don't."

She stopped and turned to look at me. "Why didn't you want me to know who you were?" she asked, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

I sighed, letting her arm drop to the bed. "It's not that I didn't want you to know who I was, I just …. What exactly did James tell you?"

I assumed he didn't tell her I was married, considering she was still there, but I guess you never know. I mean she didn't seem like the kind of girl that would have a one-night stand with a married man, but she didn't really seem like the kind of girl to have a one-night stand, period.

"He didn't really tell me anything," she said scooting back against the headboard. "He just confirmed what you said about the hotel and his name. Then Vicky told him if I was leaving with you she at least wanted the basics on you …. He said your last name was Cullen, and … thenwhenIGoogledyouafterward , Ifoundoutyouwerefrom Boston … that's pretty much it."

It was my turn to narrow my eyes at her. _Huh? What did she just say?_ "_Pretty much_?"

"Yeah …" she hesitated, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, again. It appeared she got squirmy when she was nervous.

"Yeah…?" I prompted her to continue.

"Fine," she huffed. "He said that you were the CEO, or something like that, of Cullen Oil …. I may have Googled it on my cell phone …. You know, just to see if he was indeed telling me the truth." She shrugged a bit at the end.

Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking? Yes, he knew me, and he knew I'd never once cheated nor had I ever thought about it, but fuck! I had just asked a fuck hot girl to join me at the fucking Playboy Penthouse at the Palms. A girl that every one of those bastards swore was under age.

Fucking, Idiot.

"Okay …" I sighed, tugging at my hair.

Was I ready to tell her the truth?

"You don't have to—"

"No," I interrupted shaking my head. "It's okay. Yes, my last name is Cullen and I am from Boston. I do work for, well … okay, this is a really long ass, confusing as fuck, story, so I'm just gonna sum it up real quick for you, okay?" She nodded in agreement, so I went on, "My Great Grandfather Cullen founded Cullen Oil and it's been family owned and operated ever since. I have vested interest in Cullen Oil, and I am apart of day to day operations, but I am not CEO of Cullen Oil, I—"

"Okay," she interjected with a shrug. "I don't—"

"I know," I interrupted with a smile. "But I wasn't done."

"Oh, sorry." She blushed that fucking shade of pink again, and it took every bit of my self-control to keep me from throwing her down on the bed, and having my way with her, again.

I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, but I leaned forward and kissed her nose. "It's okay … so where was I?"

"You're not the CEO of Cullen Oil?" She smiled sheepishly.

"Yes." I smiled. "I haven't actually worked at Cullen Oil all that long to be honest. I've only been there about a year. When I was fifteen, I started working for my mom's dad, my Grandpa Masen, at Masen Industries … well, long story short, I inherited Masen Industries when I was nineteen and about a year ago, we merged Cullen Oil and Masen Industries … it wasn't that I didn't want you to—"

"I get it, Edward," she interrupted. "I mean, it doesn't take a genius to figure out you're wealthy …. I figured that part out at the club. I don't generally have people offering me five grand for a private show … I'm not after you're money, Edward. I could care less if you even pay me." She face palmed her forehead. "I can't believe I just said that! My rent is due in a few days," she muttered under her breath so quietly I had to force myself to hear it.

I smiled, pulling her into my arms. "I know you're not. I wouldn't have told you what I just told you if I thought you were. I knew when I asked you to leave with me that that wasn't you, but James didn't know that … he knows how careful—"

"He probably just wanted to get rid of me," she interrupted, again. "He was really enjoying his lap dance when I interrupted."

"Still—" A knock at the door cut me off.

"Yeah?!" I yelled, looking toward the door.

"Hey, man," James yelled from the other side. "You, uh, decent?"

I looked to Bella, first to see if she was completely covered from the pervert's wandering eye, and second, to make sure it was okay I let him in. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Yeah man," I yelled back. As soon as the words left my mouth, I mentally kicked myself in the fucking balls. I was sitting in a bed that was big enough to sleep ten, fucking naked as they came, and cuddling a woman that was not my fucking wife.

_Idiot!_

James opened the door and I could see Jasper standing behind him, he appeared to be shaking his head, but he definitely had a smile on his face. Jasper didn't like Tanya, and we've been friends since we were five, plus he's married to my sister, so I knew my secret was safe with him. He'd never tell anyone—except maybe Alice—still good though.

James just stopped short, looking first to me, and then to Bella briefly, before returning to me. He shook his head, he too had a smile on his face. "I was just gonna ask if you knew where Bella might have gone when she left last night …." He coughed, trying to cover his laugh, before turning his attention back to Bella. "Victoria has been trying to call you …. I'll let her know you're fine."

"Oh, um, okay?" she mumbled. I looked over to Bella, her face was as red as a fucking tomato, and she had the sheet pulled clear up to her chin. I couldn't help the chuckle that I released; she was way to fucking cute.

"Okay …." James said, and I turned my attention back to him. "Then I'll, um, just leave you two to it then." He coughed a couple times, again trying to hold in his laughter, but I could hear it, and I could definitely see the smile on his face as he shook his head, turning toward the door.

I glanced up and noticed not just Jasper standing there shaking his fucking head, but Peter, Paul, and Mary where standing there with the same fucking smile on their shaking heads.

Bastards!

"Hey, um … James?" Bella squeaked just as James was about to close the door. He stopped, turning around to look at her. "Did Vicky say why she'd been calling me? I mean is she okay…?"

"Oh, she's fine." James smirked. "She—"

"Bella?" Victoria, I remembered her from last night, screeched coming up behind James. "Girl, what did you do?" I narrowed my eyes at James and he shook his head slightly, I hope silently telling me he hadn't said anything.

Bella squirmed a bit, looking to me, and then back to Victoria. "Um, I—"

Victoria started laughing. "I am so messing with you … but seriously, you decide to stay out all night and don't call anyone? I mean, I kinda figured this was where you were, but poor Ang has been beside herself all night … she thinks you're going to bail on dress shopping. I, of course, told her Bella would never do that. I'm heading home now if you need a ride."

I really didn't want her to leave, but it sounded like she had plans, and as much as I'd love for her to cancel those plans and stay here with me, I knew that wasn't possible. I too had previous obligations I couldn't get out of.

"Yeah, um…" Bella hesitated, looking at me, and then back to Victoria. She seemed to be having the same inner struggle as I. "Give me a minute?" she finally asked, her bottom lip tucked securely between her teeth.

Victoria nodded and left the room with James, closing the door behind them.

Bella turned to look at me, her lip still tucked between her teeth. "You, um … you didn't tell me when you're going back to Boston?"

"Tomorrow," I supplied softly, releasing her lip with my thumb. She nodded, but didn't say anything.

"We could get together tonight?" I finally said. "I mean if you don't—"

"That'd be great," she interrupted with a smile.

And because smiles truly were contagious, I smiled back. "How 'bout I call you about eight?"

She nodded that gorgeous head in agreement, and then moved to climb off the bed. Suddenly, she stopped, she seemed to be having some sort of internal debate. I was about to ask her what was wrong when she shook her head and dropped the sheet.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as she stood from the bed.

She whipped around to look at me, her tits bouncing all over the place. "What's so funny?" she asked, her hand on her jutted out hip.

"Nothing," I laughed, climbing out of bed.

Bella huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You laughed, obviously something was funny … or do you have some sort of laughing disorder that I'm not aware of?"

I crossed the room, placing my hands on her bare hips. "I was laughing because you seemed to be having a serious debate with yourself over whether or not you wanted me to see you naked …. I found it funny, considering I've seen every inch of your body up close and personal."

"Which is why I dropped the sheet," she retorted with a smirk, her arms still crossed over her chest.

"You know you're cute as fuck, when you're trying to be mad," I informed, a smirk of my own covering my face.

I pulled her arms from her chest, wrapping them around my middle before tangling my hands in her hair, pulling her head back so she was looking up at me. I couldn't help the warmth that flooded through me when she tightened her grip, pulling me closer. I brought my lips to hers and she eagerly returned the kiss.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers. "You better get dressed," I reluctantly whispered. I didn't want to let her go, and I most certainly didn't want her to get dressed, but I knew keeping her there, with me, wasn't an option.

"Yeah," she sighed stepping back. She squealed when I pulled her back to me and planted a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Now, you can get dressed." I smirked, letting her go. She shook her head and bent over to pick up her underwear, giving me an excellent view of her pert, little ass.

"I'm surprised she hasn't pounded on the door yet," she stated, standing back up straight. "She's not a patient person."

I laughed, pulling on my shorts. "Oh, if I know James, he's got her otherwise distracted."

Once we finished dressing, she seemed to have that nervousness back. She stood in the center of the room, chewing on her lip, seemingly unsure of what to do next. So, I pulled her into my arms, and asked, "I'll see you tonight?"

She smiled and nodded.

"It'd probably help if I got your number, huh?" I laughed, letting her go.

"Yeah, I mean if you really wanna see me tonight …" she answered sheepishly, purposely letting it trail off there, I'm sure.

I grabbed my cell. "Okay, what is it?" She rattled off her number and I programmed it into my phone before we headed toward the door.

I pulled her to me once we reached the door, bringing my lips to hers. She whimpered in my mouth, and wrapped her arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I moaned, pushing her into the door, nipping and sucking at her lips, my tongue caressing hers.

We both pulled away panting, gasping for air. I placed another kiss on her lips, and then opened the door. Even though she refused the five grand, I made sure to give Victoria enough money to cover her rent. I mean, it was partly my fault she wasn't able to make enough, considering I stole her early. It was the least I could do for my private dance … I made sure to consider everything else that happened as extra.

* * *

The moment I closed the door behind Bella, I heard "**DUDE!**" shouted from every direction. I knew what they wanted … first, they're going to want details ….

_Yeah, men liked details too, especially when the chick was as fucking hot as Bella was!_

Then they'd want to know what the fuck I was thinking.

"Edward!" Jasper bellowed, all laughing aside. "What the hell? You slept with a Vegas stripper, dude." He lifted the hand that my wedding band should have resided on. "Wow, dude. I never …."

"Eddie, man," James said, laughing as he clapped me on the back. "I must admit, I didn't think you had it in ya …. I honestly didn't think you'd go through with the lap dance, let alone …" he trailed off there for a moment, but then went on, "So, how was she? I pictured—"

I rounded on James. "Do not finish that statement_!_" I spit.

James laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Message received loud and clear, man."

"Seriously, Edward," Jake said, bringing my attention to him. "This ain't you. What the hell happened last night? You weren't even drinking." I sighed, pulling my hand through my hair.

"Here," Paul said, handing me a beer. I nodded in appreciation and took the beer. I twisted off the cap and tossed it in the sink on my way to the couch. My head was fucking pounding all of a sudden.

I drank pretty much the entire beer in one long pull before I said anything. "I don't know what the fuck happened …" I groaned, pulling at my hair, again. "It was like the moment we walked into that fucking club, I saw her, and I couldn't think of anything but her. It was as if I knew in the back of my mind that what I was doing was wrong, but it felt so fucking right …. Jesus, I sound like a fucking chick!"

Nobody said anything for the longest time, but Mary, Paul's wife, was the first to break the deafening silence. "So, are you going to see her again?" she asked, staring intently at me.

"Uh, no?" I replied, fully aware it came out as more of a question. I couldn't very well tell them I had every intention of seeing her again that night.

"Why does that sound like a question?" she asked, her hand on her hip.

"Fuck, I don't know," I hissed, pulling my hand through my hair. "No, Mary, I'm not going to see her again. Are you going to tell Tanya?" Tanya and Mary were friends, but Mary didn't usually go against Paul, and Paul was one of my oldest friends … who hated Tanya. Imagine that.

She stared at me for a while before looking to her husband. She sighed, bringing her attention back to me. "No. As long as you promise not to see her again. I'll keep your dirty little secret, but if you see her again, I am telling Tanya, Edward." I looked to Paul, and he seemed to be agreeing with his wife, so I nodded in agreement.

"Fuck, man," James boomed, bringing my attention back to him. "You know, bro's before ho's …we got your back!" I was about to voice my appreciation, but then he went on, "But, I, uh, agree with Mary …. I still wouldn't tell her, but I wouldn't suggest seeing her again …" Everyone unanimously agreed.

_Now all I had to do was figure out a way of seeing Bella, without getting caught._

****Authors Note****

**Please review! I look forward to each and every one of them :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you angelnlove52 for all your help—I just can't express my gratitude enough :) You are truly amazing! **

**My readers: I love you all, each and every one of you—even the ones that don't agree with my storyline ;) I do want to say that I do not condone cheating, I'm a firm believer in if you are not happy in your relationship you need to speak up—cheating is never the answer. Now with that said, this is fiction. A story I thought up in my demented head. I'm sorry if it offends you!**

**No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to the amazing Stephanie Meyer!**

**CHAPTER 5**

**BPOV ~**

**November 20, 2006 …**

"I love getting pedicures," I sighed, exiting _Allure Salon & Day Spa_ with Angela. She had been on me for a girl's day for nearly a month, but between her schedule and mine, it hadn't been easy to formulate.

"Me t—" My cell phone ringing interrupted Angela's agreement. I smiled widely, pulling the phone out of my purse—I knew exactly who was calling and I couldn't be more excited.

"Hi!" I beamed, answering the phone.

"Hey, baby," Edward cooed on the other line. It did funny things to my insides every time he called me baby. No one had ever really used terms of endearment while referring to me—except maybe the slimes at the club. Edward was different; his sweet names were because he felt them, and they meant something more to me—made me giddy with excitement. "Are you busy?"

"Not for you," I retorted shaking my head slightly, though I knew he couldn't see me.

"God," he sighed. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I breathed, walking toward the car—tagging behind Angela as she walked obliviously ahead of me. I swear, whenever I gained this 'tone' in my voice she always shut off and only listened enough to make fun of my 'adorableness' later on—typically, with fake vomiting sounds followed by kissy noises. Real mature.

It had been two months since I met Edward, well, two months and five days to be exact—not that I was keeping track or anything. We talked, texted, and emailed all the time, but I only saw him twice since he left my place early that Sunday morning. The more time that passed, the more desperately I missed him—it was as if I craved his touch, I needed to feel his presence around me, his lips on mine, his hands on my body. Yes, I know how insane that sounded. I knew I shouldn't be missing someone I've only ever seen four times, but I did.

_Bring on the straight jacket and padded walls._

"Hmm," he replied. "So convincing you to go away with me this weekend should be pretty easy?" I stopped dead in my tracks, right in the middle of the parking lot.

"Really?" I squealed. "You wanna go away this weekend? With me?"

He let out a sexy little chuckle, a chuckle that did naughty things to my girly bits. "Yes, Bella, I want to go away with you. If you don't have to work …."

"No, I'm, uh … actually off this weekend," I lied, and then jumped when a car honked at me.

"Bella?" Edward asked just as Angela yelled at me from her car.

"Yeah, I'm here," I responded sheepishly, walking toward Angela's car as I waved an apology to the driver that honked at me.

"Was that car honking at you?" Edward asked, clearly amused.

"Um, yeah?"

Edward laughed. "And _why_ was it honking at you?"

I opened the passenger side door, and climbed in as I answered him. "Um, because I was standing in the middle of his lane …."

"Okay." He laughed, again. "Do I even want to know _why_ you were standing in the middle of his lane?"

"Probably," I retorted pulling on my seatbelt. "But I'm not going to tell you. So, this weekend?" I asked changing the subject as Angela backed out of our parking place and glanced at me with a questioning look.

He laughed, again. "Yes, this weekend. Do you work Friday?"

"Nope," I lied, again.

"Hmm," he hummed, clearly trying to torture me. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Uh, nothing?" I really was doing nothing—holidays meant nothing to me.

"Really?" he asked, clearly surprised by my answer. "You're not having dinner with your family?"

"No," I answered, silently begging him not to push it.

"Hmm," he hummed, again. "Well, I could come in Thursday night? I could be in Vegas by seven?"

_Three nights, four days of Edward,_ I thought._ I feel faint._

I smiled widely. "Okay."

"Alright, so then I'll see you Thursday?"

"Yup," I retorted enthusiastically.

"Okay then, bye?" I hated to say goodbye, but I did it anyway.

"So, he's coming this weekend?" Angela asked, bringing my attention to her as I clicked my phone off.

I smiled, nodding nervously. "Yeah, he's actually coming Thursday about seven …he, um … he asked me to go away with him for the weekend …." I let it trail off there purposely.

"This weekend?" she asked, glancing to me, and then back to the road. "Don't you have to work this weekend?"

"Um, yeah?" I whispered, my teeth nearly puncturing my bottom lip. Angela looked over to me, again, and apparently, my face looked a bit sadder than I thought.

She sighed, shaking her head. "Fine, but you'll have to ask Vic to do Saturday for ya; I already picked that up for Bree."

I nodded my head, smiling widely. "I will. Thanks, Ang! I really, _really_ appreciate it! And I know you won't take me up on it, but anytime you need me to cover."

"I know."

The next few days flew by in haze, with me working more shifts than I was scheduled, so I could pick up shifts for Vickie to make up for her taking Saturday for me. I was honestly running myself ragged, between class, studying, and rushing to the club each night. I never worked much during the week, leaving my week nights open for my studies, but I owed Victoria big. Luckily, since I was so busy, the week went unbelievably fast and before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving Day. I wasn't about to complain about how drained I was … it meant I had four whole days with my man.

Just after seven, the phone rang, alerting me someone was requesting entrance to the building. Knowing it was Edward, I hit the button to except and hung up. I quickly ran into the bathroom to do a quick rundown of my hair and makeup—makeup I only wore when I was with Edward—before meeting him at the door.

"Hey," I simply said, opening the door just as he was about to raise his arm to knock.

"Hey," he breathed.

I opened the door further to let him in and my heart broke instantly when I noticed no luggage—he wasn't staying.

"You're alone?" he asked, walking into the large greatroom.

I nodded, sadly. "Yeah, they went out for dinner and a movie."

"Hmm," he hummed, looking around a bit. "I got us a room for tonight," he finally said, bringing his eyes to me. "Have you eaten?" I shook my head, trying to contain my excitement—he _was_ staying.

"Good, I arranged for room service to bring up dinner at eight," he went on to say, glancing at his watch. "Which means, you've got just about enough time to pack a bag."

_You don't have to tell me twice!_

I nearly ran up the stairs and down the hall to my bedroom. I pulled my weekend bag from under the bed, and tossed it onto the bed, before opening my underwear drawer. I didn't even realize Edward had followed me up until I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"Any sexy lingerie in there?" he asked, running his nose along my ear.

I turned my head slightly, until I could see his face. "Um, no?" I retorted, pulling my lip between my teeth.

"No?" he asked skeptically.

"I'm serious," I retorted, turning around in his arms. "I don't. I told you, I don't do private shows, and the club furnishes all of our costumes …."

"Well …." He smiled a sly smile. "We will _definitely_ be remedying _that_ while we're away this weekend."

_Mmm,_ I thought._ Lingerie shopping with Edward._ The thought alone did crazy things to my girly parts.

"Do I get to model it for you, too?" I asked, wearing the same sly smile.

He nodded. "Twice."

"Twice?" I squeaked.

He nodded, again. "Mmhmm. At the store, and then again when we get back to the room." I shivered in delight, which made Edward chuckle.

He placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled me to his chest. I couldn't help the content sigh I released, resting my head against his chest.

"I'm glad you're here," I whispered into his chest.

"Me too," he breathed, rubbing his hands up and down my back soothingly.

* * *

"Why did you rent a room?" I asked, lying naked and freshly fucked across his chest. "You know you can stay with me."

"I know," he replied, lightly caressing my back. "But I like the privacy we get in a hotel. Plus, if we were at your house tonight, you definitely would have woken up your roommates … as well as your neighbors ..."

I lifted my head off his chest, narrowing my eyes at him. "I wasn't that loud."

"You were that loud," he retorted with a kiss. "But it's okay, I like it. Which brings us back to the need for the hotel room; the penthouses tend to be a bit more soundproof …." Apparently, my face showed my total humiliation. "Aw, baby, don't be embarrassed by that. I like that I get that kind of response from you, it means I'm doing something right."

"I, um …." _I was …speechless?_

Edward caught my continued mortification and pulled me completely on top of him, taking my face between his hands. "There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of," he soothed. "The only person that heard you was me, and I like hearing you. You have no idea how much of a turn on it is to hear you scream for me. So no embarrassment, okay?"

I nodded like some idiot, because I apparently forgot how to talk.

"And how 'bout you give that poor lip a break." He smiled, loosening my bottom lip from the torture of my teeth with his thumb. "I've grown rather fond of it. I'd hate for it to be out of commission." He brought his lips to mine and then whispered against them, "Better yet, how bout we just make that my job from now on? Only I bite this precious little lip." He lightly sucked on my bottom lip, causing me to moan, pulling on his top lip with my teeth as I inched my way up his torso to achieve a better angle.

As my naked center drug against his growing erection, it forced him to moan in appreciation and his hands found my ass as he invaded my mouth completely. Squeezing both cheeks in his hands, he ground my aching center against his now very _hard _erection.

I responded with a whimpery moan when his cock glided between my already wet folds. I was desperate to feel him inside of me, again, and Edward seemed to sense it. He broke the kiss and started trailing kisses down my chin to my neck.

Lifting my hips, he positioned me over his cock, and slowly filled me. I groaned, immediately going to work on his cock, as my hands tugged at his hair. His glorious lips made their way to my chest and Edward sucked a nipple into his mouth.

"_Oh, God …._" I mewled, moving harder and faster on his cock, my fifth orgasm of the night quickly approaching. Edward was thrusting wildly and suddenly it was all too much. "_Oh … _Edward … _oh, God_."

I was moving frantically on his dick, desperate for my release. "Yes!" I bellowed when Edward brought his finger to my clit to rub furiously. "Please … _oh, pleeese_?"

"OH, FUCK!" Edward shrieked, finding his release as I exploded all around him.

I collapsed on top of him, both of us gasping for air.

Edward chuckled lightly when our breathing started to even out. "You do realize we were supposed to be talking, right?"

"We did talk," I retorted, sucking on the damn skin of his neck. I knew what he meant but I honestly hated talking about myself, especially about what had brought me to Vegas in the first place. Those were not so happy memories for me and I did everything I could not think about them. I've learned over the years to accept what was, but it didn't mean it didn't still bother me—I just decided I wasn't going to let it consume me, and it most definitely wasn't going to rule my life.

"'_Oh, god'_ and '_oh, Edward'_ don't constitute talking," Edward laughed, smacking my ass. I giggled, and then rolled off him.

"And you were _supposed_ to be telling me what led you to stripping." He smirked, sitting up against the headboard. I sighed, copying his movement. I didn't want to have that conversation, in fact, I'd done pretty much everything I could to keep from having it, hence the multiple orgasms I'd achieved since we'd arrived at the hotel. I knew he wasn't going to let me get away with not having it.

"Fine." I pouted. "You wanna know my story?" I didn't wait for him to respond, I didn't want to chicken out again. "My mom died during childbirth, leaving my father to raise me. Alone. When I was five, my dad and I moved to Seattle, and then when I was sixteen, just days before my seventeenth birthday, my dad was killed in the line of duty—he was cop by the way—so yeah, I was placed in a foster home …which is where I met Angela."

"Um, wow?" Edward sputtered, pulling me into his arms. "I'm so sorry you—"

"Oh, I'm over it," I interrupted. "I don't mean to seem callous, trust me. I miss my dad every single minute of the day …and well, I never knew my mom, but I still love her, nonetheless. I'm just saying that I've learned to deal. I can't, and won't, dwell on the past."

"Okay." He smiled, though I could tell it was forced. "But that still doesn't tell me what led you to becoming a stripper."

"Ugh," I sighed. I really didn't want to go on. I'd never told anyone about what had transpired after my father died. Yes, Angela knew, but that was only because she was there, because she went through it herself. "Okay, the home we were in … let's just say they weren't the nicest people, and Angela … she had been there a heck of a lot longer than I was. About three weeks after I got there, Angela and I were talking, and she told me she had a sister in Vegas … well, this struck me as odd.

"That she had a sister, and yet she was there …. It just didn't make sense to me. I had no one; that's why I was there, but she had someone. So, I asked her why she hadn't gone to live with her. She told me the courts had deemed her unfit to care for her … that she was stuck in the system until she turned eighteen. Just like me.

"Well, she then went on to say that if she had anyway of contacting her sister, or tracking her down, she'd run away … my dad had left me some money, and I was all about getting out of there ASAP … so we left that night."

"Still doesn't explain the stripping .…" He smirked.

"I'm getting there." I smirked back. "Victoria was already working at the club when we got here. Like I said, my dad had left me some money, but by the time I turned eighteen, that was pretty much gone …. I had very few skills and no references, but I still put in application after application. Pounded the pavement, if you will … but I never got any calls … so here I am. The money is good, and they make sure we're safe. It's really not that bad."

"I still don't like it."

I looked at him, wishing I could tell him that I'd quit, but I couldn't. "I know you don't. But, if it wasn't for stripping, I would be thousands and thousands of dollars in debt with student loans—"

"You're going to school?" he interrupted, clearly surprised.

I nodded. "Uh huh. I got my GED when I turned eighteen, and then enrolled at the community college. I'm only going part-time, but—"

"Part-time is better than nothing," he interrupted, again. "What are you going for?"

"I figure I'll get my pre-requisites out of the way then transfer to the university to earn my Masters in Social Work." He wasn't very successful at hiding his shock, but that's okay—by this point in life I was used to this reaction. Everyone thought us strippers were sluts or just mindless and couldn't apply ourselves. Little did they know, there were many of us out there that were only doing it to get by until our real careers could start, or we were out of college.

The conversation was light after that. He told me a little more about what his company, Masen Industries, did. Which was a little of everything. They had their hand in all kinds of cookie jars so to speak, and apparently, my stud here, was quite brilliant at turning a buck into a million.

As well as helping the poor and less fortunate.

_Did I mention he's perfect?_

****Author's Note****

**I know a lot of you expressed wanting to know how he managed to see Bella again, and I will show you in a future chapter.**

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! I look forward to each and every one of them :)**

**Angelnlove52 … I love ya, girl … even when you are scaring the shit out of me ;) Thank you so much for all that you've done, and continue to do. **

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 6**

**EPOV ~**

**November 24, 2006 – Day after Thanksgiving**

It was shortly after ten when we arrived at the _Solamar_ in San Diego, and I couldn't wait to get my girl into our room. The air around us was cool, though not any colder than Vegas was, but I could still feel my angel shivering as she cuddled into my side. I couldn't wait to get her into the confines of our suite; I knew just how I was going to go about warming her up.

When I decided to ask Bella to join me for the weekend, I immediately thought of San Diego. I remembered the raving review Rosalie gave the _Solamar_ and their _Choreographer Suite_ and quickly researched it, deciding immediately that it would be perfect for our romantic getaway. I was happy they actually had the room available.

Moments like these, where I thought of all the dirty things I could do to my "mistress," I couldn't believe the man I became. Somewhere along the line, I became the guy who encouraged his wife to take a four-day shopping trip to New York with her mother, just so he could take his "mistress" away for a romantic weekend. No matter the fact, I knew the term was correct, I couldn't find myself agreeing with it. Bella in no way was my mistress. She was everything I wish I would have found first. She was everything I wish I could be, and everything I came to adore—an angel in every sense of the word. Even though she deserved more than a dirty title, it was all anyone could give her due to my lies.

As wrong as it all was, I decided I couldn't dwell too much on it—I had big plans, and I was going to enjoy each and every minute I had with my angel; showing her as much of the city as I possibly could—it was definitely going to be a mini vacation she would never forget.

My sweet girl was going to be pampered from head to toe right in the comforts of our suite, then enjoy a wonderful night out on the town. I also planned to spend a fair amount of time just getting to know my Bella—inside and out. It still broke my heart thinking about all she had to endure at such a young age; it saddened me to hear she'd never met her mother, but then to hear she lost her father at such a young age, that made my heart shatter. I learned a lot about her the night before, but there was always more to learn about a person … especially one as locked tight as Bella was. She told her stories with an ability to leave out details—as if she detached herself from the situation and was just repeating a script rather than telling her story.

When she told me about her time in foster care, I couldn't lose the gut wrenching feeling something had happened to my sweet girl. She didn't actually come out and say it, but the look in her eyes—almost as though she were a million miles away—as she spoke of the time she was there, and it made my heart sink. I'd kill anyone that so much as thought about hurting her, let alone actually following through with the thoughts. I knew then I needed to investigate the home she was in and made a mental note to do a little research while my girl slept that night.

I quietly slipped from the bed once she'd fallen asleep, careful not to wake her, and made my way into the living area of the penthouse. After pulling out my laptop, I settled onto the couch and opened the legal program we used at Mason Industries. I just wanted to dig up a little more information … not on Bella specifically, but on the home she was sent to. I knew what I was doing was sneaky, that if Bella really wanted me to know, she would have told me, but I honestly couldn't help myself, just the thought of something happening to my girl made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I told myself I was just going to see if there were any complaints on the home, if so, what was done to fix the problems. If it needed to be shut down, I would see to it that it happened—soon! No one hurt my angel and got away with it.

Within moments, all common law records arose on Seattle Foster and Care Center. To say it would take me days to read all of the citizen records would be a vast understatement. There were over seven hundred hits. Most of the top instances were of bullying or low-test grades in school. I decided to narrow my search to try to find more specific details, because there was no way in hell my girl had low test scores—she was fucking brilliant.

Once I changed my parameters to violence and crime, my results narrowed significantly, until only the higher offenses were charted. Rape, assault, and battery were at the top of the list. One name kept appearing, Marcus L. Volturi, five counts of rape, three of battery, and nine more of assault second degree. Since I was looking up minors, his victims names wouldn't appear, but because of the number of his offenses and the fact that he was seventeen at the time, this douche was tried as an adult, gaining me full access.

Delving deeper, my blood ran cold when I noticed the dates in which all of these took place … if my calculations were correct, there was a strong possibility Bella was present in the home while these events were taking place. That asswipe better not have hurt my girl or he was going to have to answer for his grievances a few more times. I knew people on the inside who would take care of a woman abuser.

Sleep evaded me for the rest of the night after my research, causing me to zone out a few times during the day. When I couldn't keep myself occupied with something, my mind flipped to what I had read, and the pictures that flashed on my screen. Thankfully, since I had the ability to check legal documents and criminal backgrounds due to my CFO position, I was able to garner more information than most.

"This is beautiful, Edward," Bella spoke softly, wrapping her arms around my waist—bringing me back to the present. She was right; the room really was beautiful, decorated in brown tones and modern décor. "But why do you insist on spending so much money on me?"

I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her closer to me. I hated having any distance between us—there had been enough while I was away, and I was determined to keep her near me for the remainder of our trip.

I placed a kiss on her lips and sighed. I desperately missed the feel of her lips against mine. "Hey, that's all you," I whispered, placing another kiss on her plump lips. "If you'd taken the money for the lap dance, I wouldn't feel the need to spoil you now."

Total bullshit. She was my angel and deserved nothing but the best in life and I was determined to give it to her every chance I got.

"That's bullshit," she retorted, stepping out of my arms. I laughed, wondering if she could read my mind, because my girl definitely called it. "And you know it …. Besides, accepting money after what we did would have tainted what we have."

I cringed. _It was already tainted by that point, sweetheart._

"Not possible, baby girl," I replied smoothly, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to me for another kiss—and because there was far too much distance for my liking.

I pressed my tongue against her bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. Bella whimpered, molding herself against me while I worked my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss as I backed her into the back of the couch.

"I want you," she whimpered, breaking the kiss as her hands went to work on unbuckling my belt. "Please, Edward?"

Like any straight, hell gay man, could say no to her.

"Jesus, baby," I groaned, crashing my lips back to hers in a deep and heated kiss. We were both panting when I pulled back. "I would give you the fucking moon, Bella. All you have to do is ask!"

_You're fucking serious, aren't you? _my subconscious asked, and despite my current predicament, I knew that statement was nothing but true.

_What do you think Mrs. Tanya _Cullen_ would say about that?_ that stupid voice asked, but I really didn't have an answer for it. I knew what I was doing—feeling—was wrong, but I really couldn't help how I felt—or what I wanted. For once in my life, I wanted to feel, not just pretend. I wanted the euphoria of emotions running through my veins and highs and lows in life. I wanted the excitement of being around someone who breathed life into my soul instead of taking everything they could get. I needed the thrill of wanting the one I was with verses only seeking a warm body.

I quickly pulled her tight little blue t-shirt over her head and tossed it somewhere to the side as I lifted her chin and stared deep into her eyes. I saw things in her eyes I'd never seen in my wife's, and I couldn't help but wonder what that meant.

Bella whimpered when my lips met hers, again, and it ignited a fire in me I'd never felt before. I was suddenly desperate to touch her, feel the odd electricity I felt every time my bare skin came in contact with hers, so I wrapped my arm around her, lightly caressing her skin with my fingers as I moved them to work the clasp of her bra.

My girl whined a bit when I broke the kiss and took a step back to remove her bra. I looked at her perfect fucking body, dragging my eyes over her perfectly round tits, and then down over her slightly fuller hips. It appeared my baby might have gained a little weight since I'd seen her last, but if I were being honest, she was a bit too thin for my liking anyway. The extra weight filled her out beautifully and gave her curves in all the right places … I always appreciated having something to hold onto when it came to the hip area.

"You are by far the sexiest person I have ever met," I told her, truthfully, before leaning down to pull her perfectly pink nipple into my mouth.

Yeah, Tanya was beautiful, and I guess you could even say sexy, but Bella … Bella definitely took the cake, she was a remarkable sight to see.

"It's you," was her whimpering response, as I continued to pay homage to her marvelous tit.

"What's me?" I asked, moving on to pay the same respects to the other.

Bella whimpered, holding my head against her breast, as she moaned, "You, _oh, Edward _… you … you, youmakemesexy!"

_I make her sexy?_

I pulled away to look at her while my hands remained on her waist. "What do you mean, _I_ make you sexy?" She shifted nervously in my hold, her eyes darting everywhere not once landing on me as she gnawed her lip to the verge of blood.

I released her poor lip, rubbing my thumb over the delicate flesh, before she went on to explain, "I … the only time I ever feel sexy is when I'm with you—"

"You—" I started to say, but she quickly cut me off.

"No. I don't feel sexy, especially when I'm dressed like a slut and dancing topless …. Then I just feel like a whore. That's why I couldn't accept your money, Edward. You make me feel sexy and beautiful …. Taking that money would have made me feel like a whore—therefore tainting the money … cheapening what we did."

I cupped her face in my hands—lifting her head so I could see her beautiful face—and then spoke as honestly and as truthfully as I could. "You are not a whore. You are sexy, and beautiful, and smart ... and I promise you, I will NEVER look at you as a whore."

I brought my lips back to hers for a chaste kiss, and then added, "Truthfully, I'd rather you quit. I get why you do it, but I don't like it."

"Yeah, and if I didn't do it then we never would have met," she countered, and the words alone made my heart constrict. I couldn't imagine never meeting my beautiful girl.

"We still would have met," I told her, believing my statement were nothing but true because I couldn't think anything different.

I brought my lips back to hers as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her flush against me. It didn't take long for our moans and groans to fill the room around us, and before long, Bella was pulling away, gasping for air.

She quickly reached down, gripped the hem of my shirt in her tiny hands, and started working it up my torso. I decided to help her out, and pulled it off completely, tossing it somewhere to the side as I brought my lips back to hers.

I quickly lifted her into my arms, making Bella gasp at the sudden movement, but she immediately wrapped her legs around my waist. I made our way into the bedroom, our lips moving perfectly together as Bella moaned and whimpered into my mouth, making the raging monster in my pants press painfully against the fabric of my jeans.

I deposited her onto the bed and broke the kiss, making sure to trail kisses first down her jaw, and then down her neck. Gently nipping and sucking as I worked the button of her short pant thingies, Capri's I believe my sister called them.

She whimpered when I slipped my fingers into her underwear and then between her wet folds. My girl was already wet, soaked actually, and I longed to bury my face between her legs, but I settled for stroking languidly, back and forth between her folds, occasionally dipping a finger in as my mouth worked its way to her chest.

"_Edward _…" she whimpered, grinding her soaked center against my hand. I pushed two fingers in, and started a rapidly increasing rhythm while my thumb stroked over her clit. "Ohhh …."

I swirled my tongue around her nipple and sucked it into my mouth, causing her to buck her hips and expel a whimpery moan. I desperately wanted to make her come, but the raging hard on in my pants desperately wanted to feel her come all over him.

I pulled away, both my mouth and my hand, making my beautiful girl whine. I chuckled, placing a quick kiss on her lips.

"Sorry, baby girl," I whispered against her lips. "But the monster in my pants is demanding …." With that said, I jumped off the bed.

I quickly leaned forward to remove her pants before discarding mine and crawling back on top of her, bringing my lips back to hers. The kiss started out slow and gentle, but quickly advanced to urgent and needy as we lay there wet humping.

I broke the kiss and reached for the drawer I'd put the condoms in earlier.

"I think it's time we discuss birth control," I grumbled, sitting back to slide the condom on.

_I hate these fucking things,_ I thought turning to look at the beautiful girl beside me. Bella was flushed, her lip tucked securely between her teeth as she starred up at me from beneath her eyelashes.

"I actually have an appointment next week," she replied sheepishly, her face turning the most gorgeous shade of red to date.

I climbed back on top of her, whispering, "good" against her lips, before pulling her bottom lip between mine and sucking. Bella moaned as she wrapped her legs around me, allowing me to ease gently into her warm depths.

"Fuck!" I hissed, breaking the kiss. I still couldn't believe how tight she was. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was as if she was made to fit me perfectly … or I was made to fit her perfectly. Every woman I'd been with before—my wife included—held nothing on the feeling of enclosure I felt being with Bella. The way her walls surrounded me, hugged me, and begged me to stay. I felt invited in every way. She permanently ruined me for any and all other woman.

Bella whimpered when I slid out then thrust back in, repeatedly. It wasn't long before my strokes started becoming erratic, and I struggled to hold off my own impending release. The sounds Bella was making, mixed with the feeling of her walls tightening around my engorged cock was quickly becoming too much.

I trailed kisses down her neck, lightly—okay, roughly—sucking, marking her as mine while my cock continued to pound into her … marking his territory.

_My, aren't we a greedy bastard?_ my subconscious chastised._ Laying claim to one wasn't enough?_

"Oh … shit!" Bella cried, arching her back. "Edward … don't … _OH, GOD_!"

I felt her explode around me, I thrust twice more before losing my load in the condom and collapsing on top of her, both of us breathing heavy and laborious as we laid there in a sweaty heap of naked body parts.

I quickly rolled off her and pulled her into my arms, waiting until our breathing returned to normal before discussing our plans for the day. "I thought we'd get some lunch," I whispered, brushing the hair off her shoulder so I could place a kiss there. "And then head over to the San Diego Zoo …."

Bella rolled over to look at me, a small smile on her precious face. "Really, the zoo?" she asked, her voice carrying a hit of excitement I do believe.

"Uh, yeah? Is that okay?" I asked hesitantly. "I hear San Diego Zoo—"

"Its fine, Edward," she quickly interrupted, a brilliant smile on her face. "I used to love the zoo as a child; it's been a really long time since I've been. Sounds like fun."

"Good," I retorted, placing a kiss on her lips. "Then get your sexy ass ready before we end up spending the whole day in bed."

She giggled excitedly then placed a quick kiss on my lips before climbing out of bed.

"Though spending the day in bed could be fun too." She smirked over her shoulder, heading toward the bathroom.

"Yes, it definitely could be," I yelled after her. "But we've got plenty of time to dirty the sheets, my sweet."

* * *

"Having fun?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her as we stood watching the Polar Bears.

Taking Bella to the zoo was like taking a child, and I don't mean that in a bad way. The excitement she exuded gravitated to anyone around us. Her eyes stayed alight with joy and amazement as we wandered through the different exhibits.

She turned in my arms with a smile the size of California covering her face. "I am. Thank you, Edward. For bringing me here …." She seemed lost in thought for a moment but then she placed a kiss on my lips and went on, "My dad used to take me to the zoo all the time as a kid. The Polar Bears were our favorite exhibit …. I think we went just to see them, we'd spend the majority of the day there …."

I don't think she even realized she was crying until I wiped away her tears.

"Sorry," she replied, trying to pull out of my arms.

"Hey," I soothed, tightening my hold on her. "There is no reason to be sorry. You miss your dad, it's understandable …." She nodded, resting her head on my chest, but she didn't say anything.

We spent the remainder of the day just wandering the zoo, checking out each and every one of the exhibits. I learned that while the polar bears were her favorite, she absolutely hated the amphibian exhibit, but that the tigers were a close second to her favorite.

* * *

"I thought we'd just order some room service," I told Bella as we made our way back to the hotel. I chanced a glance at her and she just nodded, not saying anything before I returned my eyes to the road in front of us.

The ride back was spent in silence, I wondered what she was thinking, if the day had possibly brought about memories she'd so desperately tried not to think about, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. I figured that if she wanted to talk about it, she would bring it up.

Bella immediately went into the bathroom when we made it up to the room and I ordered us some room service, opting for something light so we could stop for dessert on our way back from her next surprise. I settled in on the bed to wait for Bella, and after about ten minutes, my girl finally came out, looking paler than she normally did.

She quietly crawled onto the bed and cuddled into my side.

"Baby," I cooed, pulling her closer. "What's wrong?"

"I started my period …." At least that's what I think she said, because her face was buried in my chest.

I ran my hand the length of her back, letting it slip up and under once I reached the hem. I lightly caressed her bare skin with my fingers, soothing her with my touch.

Bella pulled back to look at me, her lip, of course, tucked between her teeth. "I'm sorry, Edward—"

"Hey," I interrupted. "Don't apologize for that."

"But I ruined our weekend …." She whimpered, tears filling her eyes.

I pulled her onto my lap, and lifted her chin so I could see her eyes better. "You didn't—" I started to say, but a knock at the door interrupted me.

It was room service. I quickly gestured for them to enter, and once they completed setting our meals up for us, I tipped them graciously and gestured for my girl to join me as they exited our hotel suite.

Bella and I didn't resume our original conversation, which was quite all right with me—it wasn't really a dinner discussion—but I fully intended to make it clear to her that she hadn't ruined anything. Frankly, I didn't care if she was on her period or not, it wouldn't keep me from enjoying my precious girl … and besides, the trip wasn't all about sex.

* * *

"Edward," Bella groaned into my chest as a violent shiver raked through her body. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," I whispered, wrapping her tighter into my embrace. "Just be patient."

She groaned, but didn't say anything else. Luckily, it was only another second or two before we heard the clatter of the horse's hooves.

Bella's head popped up, and her big eyes locked with mine when the horse and carriage came to a stop in front of us. I just smiled, helping her into the carriage before settling in next to her. I quickly spread the blanket I had requested over the two of us and pulled her into my arms, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Wow," she whispered after we started moving. "I've never been on a horse drawn carriage before …." She winced in pain, clutching at her stomach.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked, pulling her into my lap.

"Yeah," she replied, laying her head on my shoulder. "Just cramps."

I studied her carefully for a moment, noticing the slight sweat that was starting to bead along her forehead and the slightly sunken pallor marring her iridescent skin and asked, "Are you sure? I mean, we can go back to the room, take a hot bath, and just watch movies the rest of the night."

"I'm fine—" she started to say but the newest wince told me otherwise.

"Excuse me," I said to the gentleman controlling the horse. "I'm sorry to do this, but my girlfriend isn't feeling too well. We should probably go back to the hotel."

"Not a problem, Sir."

"Edward," Bella whined into my neck. "I'm fine."

"You don't feel good."

* * *

It had been almost thirty minutes since we made it back to the hotel suite, and Bella had been in the bathroom the whole time—I was starting to get nervous, so I decided to check on her.

I knocked on the door. "Bella, honey, are you okay?" I called, pressing my ear against the door. I listened carefully, but didn't hear anything, so I knocked again. "Bella?" Again, there was no response.

I was starting to worry, so I decided to try the knob. I was happy to find it unlocked, though I was not prepared for what I found when I opened it.

There, before me, was my beautiful girl, lying on the floor, in a pool of her own blood.

"BELLA!" I screamed, lifting her off the floor and into my arms. "Honey, can you hear me?"

I checked for a pulse as I carried her into the bedroom. I was relieved when I found it, though it was extremely faint.

Still holding her in my arms, I dialed 911, impatiently cursing my fumbling fingers for not going fast enough.

"911 dispatch …. What is your emergency?"

****Author's Note****

**Give me some reviews … show me some love :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you Angelnlove52 for all your hard work, and to my readers, thanks for all the reviews. I'm so glad you like the newer version of the story. Please, keep reading and reviewing :)**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 7**

**BPOV ~**

**Saturday, November 25****th****, 2006…**

A faint beeping somewhere in the distance woke me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I briefly pondered what could be making such a noise. I'd never heard anything as faint and steady. An alarm clock or cell phone were my first options, but it didn't sound like either. I could see the red haze drifting through my closed eye lids, making it appear as if it were the middle of the afternoon—I couldn't feel the warmth of the warming sun …. I never sleep this late, how is it the middle of the afternoon? As I slowly came to, I felt a warm, strong hand clasped in mine. My eyes fluttered open and found a sleeping Edward next to me on the hard plastic recliner, his head rested on the bed next to our hands.

I glanced around, quickly realizing from all of the monitors and medical equipment around me, I was in a hospital room, and then it all came flooding back to me. The pain ... the black spots clouding my vision … the blood … there was _so much_ _blood_, so much darkness that surrounded me.

When I closed my eyes again, I could see the blood streaming down my leg once I pulled my pants down. It was like twin rivers flowing from the apex of my thigh down toward my ankle. The smell of rust and iron hit my senses and caused me to gag and feel woozy. When I looked up, my vision turned black as night and my head started to twirl on axis. I tried to grab onto the counter next to me, but missed as my body violently started to shake before heat over took my body and everything stopped.

Edward started to stir in the chair next to me, pulling me from my memories. It was only a matter of seconds before his wide, alarmed eyes locked with mine.

"Hey …" he whispered, squeezing my hand as he sat forward in his chair. I studied him carefully, occasionally glancing around the tiny hospital room.

"What ... what happened?" I finally asked, my voice coming out rough—like I'd just finished off a whole carton of cigarettes. Even I didn't recognize it.

Edward just looked at me, his expression blank—a look I'd never seen before. I could see a wall constructing behind his eyes, keeping me from whatever he was thinking. "You … you passed out," he whispered. "I found you lying on the floor in the bathroom …. You … you had a miscarriage, Bella …."

I think he was waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't really formulate any words at the moment. Did he really just say I had a miscarriage? How was that even possible? I couldn't be pregnant … there was no way. I would have shown symptoms. I would have known if I were pregnant.

"Wha …what do you mean …. How could I … when did I …. What?" I muttered, trying to compute everything he was telling me. Pregnant, what?

"The doctor said you were about ten weeks along." He held no emotion—on his face, or in his voice. It was like nothing I'd ever witnessed before. The man before me was not my Edward. "Did … did you know you were pregnant?" he finally asked, his eyes boring deep into mine.

I shook my head vigorously as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. "No," I whispered, still shaking my head. "I-I didn't know …. I thought we've … we've always used condoms—"

"Not always," he interrupted solemnly.

I blinked back my tears, whispering, "I didn't … know …. I'm so sorry, Edward—"

"Hey," he soothed, crawling in beside me on the bed. "This isn't your fault, baby …."

I looked to him with big eyes—it was the first emotion he'd shown since he woke up. "If I would have been on birth—"

"No," he interrupted sternly. "If we're going to place blame, I should have remembered to put a condom on …. It happened, and at this moment, that's the least of my worries. Right now I'm more concerned with how you are …."

"I'm … I don't know," I cried, snuggling closer. "I mean, I didn't even know, but—"

A light rap on the door interrupted me before it quickly opened and a tall, redheaded female walked in wearing a white coat.

"Good morning, Isabella," she greeted politely. "I'm Dr. Soto, the physician who treated you when you were brought in last night …."

"Good morning," I replied, moving to sit up a bit while Edward moved back to the chair next to the bed. My heart dropped a bit, and I instantly felt the loss; I wanted him next to me, holding me, comforting me with his touch alone.

"What exactly do you remember from yesterday, Isabella?" the doctor asked, bring my attention to her.

"I, um … I remember having some mild cramping throughout the day, some spotting … the uh, cramps gradually got worse, as did the, um, bleeding …. I just thought I was starting my period."

"Okay, and how about last night in the bathroom?"

I looked to Edward, talking about this in front of him was a bit embarrassing—I mean, we barely knew each other. He just smiled in response, nodding his head encouragingly.

"When I used the bathroom before leaving for the carriage ride, I noticed the bleeding was much heavier, as were the cramps … so I, um, used a super-plus tampon and took some Motrin …. When we got back to the room I went into the bathroom …." I looked to Edward again and then back to the doctor.

"I'd already filled the tampon and my underwear …. I got really dizzy and warm, it was like I was getting tunnel vision and sweating all at the same time … that's the last thing I remember."

"You passed out from the loss of blood," she replied sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Isabella, but you had a miscarriage last night …." I nodded, the tears falling freely again.

"Did you know that you were pregnant?" she went on to ask.

"No."

Dr. Soto nodded with a small, sympathetic smile on her face. "Do you know when your last menstrual cycle was?"

I shook my head. "Um, my cycles haven't ever been normal, but I do remember having one the beginning of September … and some spotting the beginning of October."

"Well, based on your blood work, I'd say you were about ten weeks along, so the spotting in October was probably implantation bleeding …. We did a D&C last night, so you may have some mild cramping and continued bleeding …. I would suggest you follow up with your own OB-GYN when you get back home …."

"I actually have an appointment next week. I was going to talk to her about birth control."

"Good, keep the appointment. I'll have the girls get a copy of your records, so you can take them with you …." I nodded, again, but didn't say anything, so she went on. "Alright, now I'd also suggest talking to your physician about possible support groups in your area …. They can help you deal with this sort of loss …."

"I will," I whispered, glancing toward Edward. "Thank you."

"Alright, so just take it easy for a few days …. I've written you a script for some 800mg Motrin, it should help with the cramps …. Are there any other questions for me?"

I shook my head. "No."

**Sunday, November 26****th****, 2006 ~**

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Edward asked, as we lay wrapped around each other on my bed. I sighed. He'd been asking me that same question for the past hour, and while my answer was always the same, it was one giant lie. "I can stay. I don't have to leave tonight."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine, Edward," I finally said, but this time I quickly added. "There's no reason for you to miss work—"

"I don't care about work," he interrupted, shifting me so he could see my face better. I'd finally said something other than, "I'll be fine" and he was going to grab a hold of that. "It's not like they can fire me."

"I'll be fine," I repeated.

He sighed, studying my face for a moment, before placing a kiss on my lips. "You'll call me if you need me?" he asked hesitantly. "The second you call, I'll be back on a plane to you. You're more important than anything in Boston …. I'm serious; call me if you need me … if you need anything."

I nodded, desperately trying to hold my tears at bay. I really didn't want him to leave, but there was no way I was telling him that. I couldn't hold him there when he had bigger and better things to worry about, and besides, I wanted him to stay because _he _wanted to stay, not because he felt obligated to. I wanted him to make that decision from his own want, not because of my selfish request.

"Okay," he finally murmured, sliding out of my tight embrace. "Walk me out?"

I nodded, slowly pushing myself off the bed. I held his hand tight in mine, walking slowly down the stairs, neither of us saying anything as we made our way to the door. I tried to think of something to say to him, something I could say that would make him stay without actually asking—begging—him not to leave me, but I couldn't find anything that would even begin to express what I was needing, while still wanting nothing more than for the final decision to be by his own merit.

_Him_ not wanting to leave _me_.

I lay in bed, bawling my eyes out after he pressed his lips against mine for the last time and left. I told him I was okay, but I was anything but. I needed him with me, to hold me, comfort me when I woke from the recurring dream I'd been having since the dreaded night.

If it weren't for Angela and Vic, I don't know how I would have made it through. Every night when I woke screaming, they were always there to hold me, stroke my hair, and try to reassure me I would be okay. Though their words were comforting, they weren't from the person I needed them from the most.

I thought about calling him multiple times that first week, especially after my dreams woke me. I just needed to hear his voice, to tell him how much I was missing him … how much I needed him, and know if he felt the same. I needed to know if he was missing me, if he were dreaming of me the way I dreamt of him, did he wish he was there with me when I woke up in a cold sweat because the life I didn't know I wanted was so suddenly ripped out of my reach.

**Friday, December 8****th****, 2006 ~ **

It was shortly after two in the afternoon when my cell phone rang from its place on the kitchen counter. I put down the dish I was washing and walked over to where my phone laid. Picking it up, I glanced at the screen – Edward.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, baby," he sighed on the other end. "How ya feeling?"

"I'll be better when you get here …," I whimpered. I was doing fine for the most part, though I did have my moments, but mostly I just missed him terribly. It wasn't so much that I missed him—it felt as if he made things better. When I was talking to him, I could forget the possibilities of what could have been. Not that I was ready to be a mother … nothing could be farther from the truth, but just the idea that there was yet another death in my life tore my heart to pieces.

At night, I dreamt of a little girl with Edward's eyes and hair and my facial features, a little boy with my eyes and Edward's looks. I pictured us raising him or her together, owning a house together, possibly getting married. Then again, were they just delusions of grandeur? Does the stripper really get the man at the end of the day? Does a whore ever really get her prince after the deed is done?

"Yeah, um, about that …." My heart stopped, and I felt the tears already welling up in my eyes.

_Okay, maybe I'm not doing as well as I let off._

"You're … you're not coming." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry, baby," he supplied solemnly. "I'm gonna have to work all weekend—"

"That's what you said last weekend," I interrupted.

Edward sighed loudly through the phone. I could imagine him pulling his hand through his hair as he spoke, "I know, Bella, and I'm sorry …. I wanna come, I just … can't. We have some important acquisitions we're trying to close on before the first of the year …. I'll try to make it out next weekend."

I sighed in defeat, sitting on the barstool as I wiped away the tears. "Okay." Half of me wanted to throw a fit and just tell him not to bother, while the other half wanted to beg him to come. I needed him. He promised me he would be here if I needed him, but now it seemed as though he was avoiding me. Maybe he really did blame me for losing our baby. Maybe he thought it was my fault I got pregnant in the first place. I just couldn't understand why he wasn't there, why he didn't want to be with me. Was it his way of letting me go without ever really saying the words? Was he really taking the coward's way out? Did he honestly think I'd just grow to forget him one day?

"Baby, you know I'd come if I could," he pleaded. "I just have a shit load of work to catch up on."

I nodded, though I _didn't_ know if what he was saying was true or not. I thought knew Edward, but in truth, I didn't _know _him at all. He was still virtually a stranger to me, and that fact saddened me.

"It's fine," I finally whispered after a long extended period of silence. "Call me later?"

"Of course," he sighed.

**Thursday, December 14****th****, 2006 ~**

I'd just finished changing out of my work out clothes, following my yoga class at the local _Bally's Fitness Center_ when my phone rang inside my bag.

I quickly pulled it out, glancing at the screen – Edward. I debated briefly on whether or not to answer it. I couldn't handle another heartbreak, but I desperately needed to hear his voice. I needed him to comfort me—to make all the pain go away. I wasn't; however, ready to hear him tell me he wasn't coming yet again. I wanted to silence the call, give him a taste of his own medicine, but there was something about his smooth, velvety voice—it had this instant calming reaction for my heart.

But was being heartbroken worth the few minutes of reprieve I received from talking to him? Was answering the phone worth getting upset all over again? The internal war continued to battle on, and before I knew what I was doing my finger quickly hit the green answer button, and my heart won out once again.

"Hello?" I answered, praying he wasn't calling to tell me he couldn't make it again.

I hadn't seen him since he left following our Thanksgiving tragedy, and it was becoming harder and harder every day. The absence he left within me mixed with the loss I'd endured was proving to be too much for me, and I needed him beside me to feel whole again.

"Hey, baby girl," he cooed on the other end. "Whatcha doin'?"

My heart jumped at the sound of his voice—it felt like a lifetime since I'd heard it. "Just getting ready to leave the gym. What are you doing?"

"Running out for a pizza."

I frowned. I knew it was only pizza, but I wished he were running out for pizza with me. "Sounds fun …. So you're still coming tomorrow, right?"

He hesitated, and my heart sank.

If I truly wanted to be honest with myself—which I tried not to do—it wasn't his absence or the loss of the baby that hurt the most. What absolutely killed me inside was the distance he was forcing between us. With every passing day, I felt him draw farther and farther from me. I felt the imposed silences and long pauses growing more pronounced with each conversation we held. I found myself wondering if that dreadful Sunday would be the last time I ever laid eyes on the man I was falling in love with. Was this how my first real experience with love was going to end?

The tears I started crying at night weren't for the loss of our baby, but for the loss of him and our relationship—the one we'd barely even begun. If only I were able to bring myself to fly to Boston, to force him to see me, to want me—but I didn't want to be anyone's pity or obligation. I wanted a man who wanted me for me … who loved me for who I was …. Could Edward be that man, or was I losing all hope in us ever having a future. Would I ever become a priority, or would he continue pushing me away until there was nothing left but stilted silence over a broken line?

"Edward …" I groaned, feeling rejected and unwanted.

"Next weekend," he assured. "I promise."

I didn't respond; it was always _next _weekend, and besides, my eyes were quickly filling with tears, and I didn't want him to hear me crying.

"Bella?" he asked.

"O-okay …" I whimpered, quickly wiping away the tears that began falling.

"Aw, baby, please don't cry," he begged. "I promise, next weekend."

"I'm fine." I sniffled. "Next weekend …." I wanted to beg him, plead with him to come, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I needed him to make me a priority, not force myself to become one.

Edward sighed, and I could imagine him tugging at his hair in obvious frustration. "I'm at the pizza place, baby …. You're sure you're okay?"

I nodded, knowing he couldn't see me—but wishing he could, so he wasn't only hearing the anguish in my voice, but seeing it on my face as well. "Mmhmm. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Baby," he sighed. "Please don't be so sad. I promise you, if could be there, I would."

"I know …" I murmured.

There was a long silence, both of us just breathing into the phone. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to seem as if he actually cared.

"I gotta go, baby girl," he finally whispered.

"Ok … bye."

"Bye, baby."

He hung up the phone and I literally lost it. Tears were steamrolling down my cheeks as I sat there in the middle of the girl's locker room, shaking uncontrollably from the rejection he'd just bestowed upon me. How could he not see it—hear it in my voice how much I needed him? He heard my cries, he even begged me not to cry, and yet it still wasn't enough to make him get on a plane.

I decided at that moment, I wouldn't answer if he called again. If he wanted to talk to me—if he wanted to see me, he could make his way down to Vegas and we would talk then. I was done playing games. I was done being his little Vegas girl, while he did god only knows what in Boston and didn't care about me. It was time for me to move on and find someone who could love me the way I loved them—now if only I was strong enough to pull it off. I knew the influence he had on me; I knew what my heart did every time his name appeared on my caller I.D. I knew the thoughts that ran through my head when I ignored his calls.

I'd vowed multiple times as I'd cried myself back to sleep each and every night that that was it—I was done with him … that I didn't deserve to be treated the way he was treating me. Yet, every time the phone rang, I answered. I'd respond to his, "I miss you baby" messages, and all was once again forgiven. I knew I needed to be stronger, but something about Edward Cullen had captivated me, and the thought of not having him as a part of my future terrified me …. I needed him more than I cared to admit.

"Excuse me …" I heard someone whisper from beside me. I quickly wiped my tears away and looked up. "Are you okay?" the petite girl with honey brown hair asked.

I stared at her, confused as to why this complete stranger was taking such an interest in me. I'd been sitting here, bawling, for I don't know how long, and not a single person so much as offered me a Kleenex. "Oh, um … yeah …." I finally muttered, again wiping away the stray tears.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly. "I mean, I know you don't know me, but if you need to talk or something?"

The tears had started flowing freely again, as I shook my head. I must have looked pathetic, sitting in the middle of the girl's locker room, bawling my eyes out, but I honestly didn't need her pity. I had enough for the two of us.

"You're Bella, right?" she asked, sitting on the bench next to me.

I sniffled, wiping more tears away. "Yeah?" I asked, curious as to how this stranger knew me.

"We're in the same yoga class … Alice Whitlock."

****Author's Note****

**Well, you know the drill. Review, please?!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Angelnlove52, what can I say? You say you haven't really done anything … HA! You have helped in more ways than you know. This chapter, as well as many others, wouldn't be what they've turned out to be without your help! Thank you!**

**My readers … Please keep the the glowing reviews coming :) I am so happy you are still finding the story interesting. **

**CHAPTER 8**

**EPOV ~**

**Thursday, December 14****th****, 2006 ~**

I hated lying to Bella all the time, but it really couldn't be helped. I mean, I couldn't go to Las Vegas without a viable reason, and considering my reason—my sister—was going to be in Georgia for the weekend, celebrating Christmas with her husband and his family, I had no choice but to cancel on her—again.

I actually considered flying Bella to Boston at one point, but then thought better of that. How would I explain not being able to stay with her at the hotel? How would I go about telling her that she couldn't stay with me at my house—or even see my house for that matter? I could probably explain one night away to Tanya, claiming I'd drank too much and passed out on James' couch, but there was no way I could pull off a whole weekend. Nor could I explain to Bella the reason I was only flying her out for a single night. It was a lose-lose situation for me. I desperately wanted to see my girl, but I couldn't figure out a way of making it happen.

"Good evening," the hostess greeted as I walked into Valentino's, a local pizza joint—the only pizza place in town as far as I was concerned.

"Good evening. Cullen, party of two," I informed, straightening my tie, trying to deflect her wandering eyes and ignore her before she caused a scene—more importantly, before Tanya walked up and created a scene.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Cullen, your wife has already arrived …. Right this way."

I followed her into the dinner area and spotted Tanya right away, dressed to the nine in the back corner. I cringed immediately, feeling a mixture of anger and guilt. Anger because I truly wanted to be clear across the country, meeting a very different woman for dinner, and guilt because I knew what I was doing, feeling, was all sorts of wrong.

"Oh, Edward, finally …" she purred, as I sat in my seat across from her.

"Traffic …." I purposely let it trail off there, instantly picking up the menu.

"Yeah, it was a bear tonight … all these last minute shoppers …. Speaking of …"

I cringed internally. I actually hadn't gotten her anything yet. "Huh?" I asked, playing stupid.

"My gift," she snipped. "Have you gotten it yet?"

I laid the menu down and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time since I'd arrived. "Have I forgotten you yet?" I asked.

"No—" The waitress interrupted at that point, and luckily, the subject of Christmas presents didn't come up again. It was always the same to her—anything big, shiny, and outrageously expensive. I'd go to my usual spot and let my sales girl pick it out—Tiffany's hasn't steered me wrong yet.

"Don't forget about the Cullen Foundation Christmas party coming up next week," Tanya reminded me about halfway through dinner.

_Fuck! _I thought, looking up to Tanya's waiting eyes. I'd actually forgotten about the Christmas Party with everything else going on in my life. Between thinking and worrying about Bella, mixed in with trying to finalize everything with the Vegas property before the first of the year, I was running myself ragged.

"Yeah, what day was that again?" I asked laying my napkin down on the table.

_Please don't say Friday_.

"Saturday …."

_Thank you, Jesus!_

"Why?" she asked, clearly annoyed with my question. "Did you have plans for the weekend?"

I checked my watch, it was closing in on ten—I was anxious to talk to my girl again before the end of the night, and I knew she had a shift this evening—something she'd just recently started doing with Angela and Victoria. A trio, she called it.

"Edward?" Tanya snipped. "I asked you a question …. And why are you so concerned with the time?"

"I'm going to Vegas Thursday after work," I informed. "And I was just checking the fucking time …. Some of us have to work in the morning."

"Vegas?" she hissed incredulously. "Weren't you just there?"

"A month ago," I snapped waving the waitress over. "And we're not going through this again, Tanya. My sister and I are close. It's not my fault you're a bitch to her every time she's around …. And as I said before, I'm going for work."

"Well, _you_ could have at least stuck up for me when she banned me from her house," she hissed gathering her belongings. "I mean, it is a bit much … especially considering she moved clear across the country …. Anyway, why do _you_ have to go to Vegas for work? I thought that was the whole reason for transferring Jasper out there …. Which reminds me, when is he actually moving there? Seems you're there more than he is, and he's the one that is supposed to be in charge of this whole operation … maybe let him do some of the work!"

"That's her decision to keep you away," I replied, as the waitress took the check away. "Maybe try being nice for once …. And I'm going because it's my company …. Have you ever known me to _not_ follow a development to the finish?" I was really counting on her inability to be nice to Alice; otherwise, there wasn't a doubt in my mind she'd be trying to go with me.

It was strange really. Alice was the only one Tanya didn't get along with. She and Alice actually downright despised each other, while my mother and older sister thought the world of her—not surprising considering they're all so much alike. My dad though, he wasn't really a fan of hers either, but he generally sided with my mother, or just didn't get involved at all. It was strange really, my dad's family was the snooty, all high and mighty ones that thought the world revolved around them—that anyone of a lower class was beneath them, while my mom's family was rather rounded and more down to earth. My granddad Masen built his company from virtually nothing, meaning my mother grew up a part of the lower class, while my father's family had always had money and flaunted it in everyone's faces.

"… Edward!"

"What?" I asked, snapping back into the now.

"Were you even listening to me?"

"Honestly?" I asked, but I didn't wait for her to respond. "No. What were you saying?"

She huffed, pulling on her coat. "You are unbelievable. Tell me again why I ever married you?"

"Fuck if I know," I replied matter-of-factly, pulling my own coat on.

She stopped what she was doing and stared at me, cocking her eyebrow. "Are you serious with that?"

I just shook my head. "I know why you married me, Tanya … fifteen million dollars."

She looked at me incredulously. "You're serious?" she stuttered. "I married you because I love you." I knew she was waiting for me to say something. Thankfully, the waitress chose that moment to bring my credit card back. I couldn't have been happier with her timing, because I wasn't sure if I could, in good conscience, say it back.

After leaving her a tip, I stood to leave. "I'll see you at home," I said, turning to Tanya but otherwise paying her no mind.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I'll see you at home," she spat before stomping off in the direction of the exit. I probably should have felt bad, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than anxious to speak to my angel, and I knew the quicker I got rid of Tanya, the quicker I could do so.

Now don't get me wrong, our marriage wasn't always like that, but it'd been nearly a month since I'd seen Bella, and I seriously felt like some heroin addict going through withdrawals. She was definitely my own personal form of heroin and I was thoroughly addicted, which left me a cranky bastard these days.

For the most part, Tanya and I have—or had—a happy marriage, which was what made all of this even more confusing to me. I actually love—or _loved_ her_—_ I didn't even know which anymore. I felt something for her, though I wasn't sure if it was out of love or obligation, but either way, I really didn't want to see her hurt, but the thought of giving up Bella was just downright painful. What I'd grown to feel for Bella after only two short months had dwarfed my feelings for Tanya immensely, and I just couldn't make sense of it. I thought I _loved_ Tanya the day we pledged to spend our lives together, but now, I honestly couldn't picture a future without Bella. Only the future I saw didn't have Tanya anywhere around. I saw Bella as my wife. Us having quiet family Christmases, that included just her and our children—possibly my sister, Jasper, and their family.

The future I pictured with Bella was nothing like I'd ever pictured with Tanya. With Tanya, I always saw us having the fast track sort of life, high profile parties—all glitz and glam. With Bella, it was all quite the opposite, I saw the white picket fence, nice, but not over the top vehicles, and most importantly, a down to earth girl on my arm that honestly didn't care if I were worth nearly a billion or a single buck, she would love me for me, not what I could give her.

It was all very confusing. I knew in my heart what I wanted, but I was just to chicken to actually make it happen. I'd thought about leaving Tanya, I'd even consulted an attorney, which would be what opened my eyes to the reality of what may come if I did indeed open that door. Not only was there a chance I would lose my girl, but I could also end up losing half my net worth. I thought pre-nups were supposed to be there to cover your ass, but after listening to my attorney, there was a good chance Tanya could walk away with half of what I've accumulated since we were together. Because, not only was I worth nearly three times what I was when we married, there wasn't anything in there that would protect me against my infidelity. He suggested hiding Bella, and rejecting the idea any previous relationships with her, wait it out a few months, then go back … but the thought of denying her—of being away from her for months, made me ill. I was stuck and I knew it.

My attorney did give me some very solid advice on how to hide my relationship though—he suggested paying for everything with cash from now on, preventing her ability to check my statements—which she couldn't anyway, it was a business account, and my bills were sent directly to the office where they stayed, so that sentiment was moot. He also suggested trek phones, saying if I were to have a phone that didn't have my name on it, and Bella only had the number, there would be no way of Tanya ever tracing it back to me, thus, limiting my exposure to getting caught and being sued in the event of a divorce. However, I'd want the other phone on me at all times, because the idea of missing a call from my angel made my stomach turn, but also a moot point, as my cell was company issued, and she'd never be able to obtain any of those records. I had a pass code only I would know, and after five wrong attempts, my phone restored back to its original settings.

Something he did mention, that was intriguing, was to set up an account in a bogus name and start hiding money. Then in the event of a divorce, I wouldn't be left with nothing. That tidbit of advice was on the down low, and not something he was 'legally' allowed to suggest, but thank God my attorney was also one of my good friends.

When I reached my car, I quickly pulled out my cell phone, praying I'd be able to get a hold of Alice. I needed to make sure nothing had changed, that I still had my alibi for the weekend—I couldn't cancel on my girl, not again.

"Hey, big brother," Alice answered the phone. "What's up?"

"Not much …" I replied nonchalantly. "Just wondering what day you were gonna be here?"

"Not until Saturday morning," she replied. "Jas' car is being delivered Friday night, so I gotta be here to make sure that's squared away for when we get back home."

_Perfect._

"Damn," I sighed. "I almost wish I could be there when he sees it."

"I know, right?" Alice gushed. "He's gonna love it!"

"That he is," I agreed, looking at the time. "Alright, so I'll see you Saturday then?"

"Yup, see you then," she chirped, and my two nights with Bella were actually going to happen this time. I couldn't have been happier. I knew I was playing with fire, knowing if Tanya ever decided to check up on me I'd be screwed, but I really couldn't bring myself to worry too much over it.

I called Bella the moment I hung up with my sister, and was a bit surprised when she answered on the second ring. It seemed she'd been sending more and more of my calls right to voicemail as of late, and while I couldn't really blame her, it didn't mean it didn't bother me. I knew she thought I was purposely blowing her off, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"Hey …" she breathed, sounding really down; I hoped my news might cheer her up a bit. I knew she was having a harder time with the miscarriage then she was letting on … hell, I was having a harder time with the miscarriage then I let her know.

It was strange really; I'd never considered having children. In fact, Tanya and I had both agreed early on that we didn't want kids—she was just too selfish, and I just didn't want the responsibility. I had even consulted with an Urologist about possibly having a vasectomy, but something in my gut told me not to follow through with the procedure. I wasn't sure at the time why I was having the doubts, but it all seems to make a bit more sense now.

Bella miscarrying our baby was like losing a piece of myself—a piece I never knew existed. I'd actually found myself daydreaming of a little girl with dark brown orbs, and chocolate brown hair, resembling that of my beautiful girl, and I couldn't get past the want I felt as I thought of what we could have had.

"Hey, baby girl," I cooed. "You're not busy are you?"

"Nope," she replied, as I heard some shuffling. "I was just getting ready to get into the shower …."

She let it trail off there, so I asked, "Working tonight?"

"Yeah …" she whispered.

"Well, I won't keep you," I retorted a bit harsher then I wanted. I really hated that she stripped, that complete strangers could see what was meant only for my eyes—selfish bastard, I know. "I just wanted to let you know, I'll be leaving here probably around six on Thursday; so I should be in town about twelve thirty or so."

"Okay …" she replied, sounding a tad bit more hopeful and yet, still a million miles away.

"I, um … will you be home?" I asked, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy. It never really crossed my mind that maybe she didn't _want _to see me after as much as I've cancelled on her.

"I'll be home around one," she informed. "I have class until twelve forty-five."

I smiled, though I knew she couldn't see it. "So I'll see you about one then."

"Kay," she whispered hesitantly. "Um, Edward?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"How long are you going to be here?" she asked, clearly very nervous.

"I'll be leaving Saturday … about mid-morning."

She sighed somewhat, I hoped in relief. "I'm glad you're coming. I really miss you."

I sighed, feeling like a complete ass. "I know, baby. And trust me when I say this, I miss you too. So much, baby girl. I can't wait until I can hold you in my arms again."

"Kay … so I'll see you Thursday?" she asked, much more cheerful now.

"Yup."

* * *

Tanya was lying on the couch, watching the eleven o'clock news when I got home.

"Hey, what took you so long?" she asked, getting off the couch. I was hoping she'd be in bed, but I should have known better—of course she'd be waiting up for me.

"I called Alice," I semi-lied. "I was just letting her know when I'd be there Thursday …." I may have detoured at bit so I could talk to Bella.

Tanya huffed, and then walked down the hallway toward the bedroom. I went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pulled out bottle of Corona. After tossing the cap in the garbage, I decided to go and check some emails … fuck off for a little while—aka, avoid the spawn of Satan.

Finally, at close to midnight, I made my way into the master bedroom. The lights were all off, so I walked carefully and quietly into the bathroom. After completing my nightly routine, I returned to the bedroom, stealthily sliding into my side of the bed.

It took about ten seconds for her to curl herself around my back, effectively spooning me. I felt myself start to stiffen when she started placing kisses on my neck, but quickly willed myself to relax.

"You're so tense," Tanya remarked—apparently, I wasn't as successful as I thought. "Let me relax you," she purred, moving her hand down my hip, into my boxers.

"Not tonight," I groaned shifting forward a bit, effectively moving her hand away from the placid monster in my shorts.

"Why not tonight?" she questioned, moving herself closer, her hand inching back into my shorts.

Rolling onto my stomach, I hissed, "Because I'm fucking tired!"

"Yeah, well, I'm horny," she huffed sitting up. "What the hell, Edward? We've had sex _maybe_ four times in the last month …. We've only been married a year …. We've always made love—"

Rolling back onto my back, I groaned. "I'm just tired. Fuck! Work has been—"

"I get it. I really do," she replied dolefully, lying back down, her body resting mostly on mine, she sniffled as she started kissing, nipping at my chin. "I just don't want to be an old married couple after only a year of marriage," she finished, bringing her lips to mine.

_She's your wife,_ my conscious screamed, which would be why I surrendered, but my thoughts strayed to Bella more times than I could have counted. I'm honestly surprised I didn't belt out her name as I found my release.

The whole ordeal took longer than I would have liked. It took awhile for Tanya to actually get me hard enough to do anything—she actually started to get a bit pissed that I wasn't responding to her. It was only after I started envisioning Bella with my cock in her mouth that I started to become aroused, and even then, I had to keep my eyes closed, or focused on a spot on the wall to maintain my erection while she bounced around on top of me. Everything felt wrong. The tightness of Bella's pussy was missing, replaced by something that felt foreign and dry. The long acrylic nails that scrapped down my chest, the loud, obnoxious moans that sounded as if they belonged to a porn star—it was just all wrong. I finally had to block it all out and replay the last time Bella had ridden my cock in order to get it over and done with—even then, I honestly couldn't tell you if she obtained her own release, though I could only assume she did, considering she wasn't bitching at me.

Afterward, Tanya ran into the bathroom to clean herself up and I laid there, staring at the ceiling, pondering how hot the fires in hell were going to burn. I couldn't believe what I had just done. As Tanya had said earlier, we'd only actually had sex maybe four times, it was actually four including this time—but who was keeping track—and every time I felt like a complete schmuck, though the reason this time was so much more different than the times before. The other three times were when I was still riding my Bella high. I had just returned home and sex with her was fresh on my mind. I'd felt like a shit after, but those feelings were more out of guilt because Tanya had no idea what I had been up to. It also, probably, helped that they were early on in our relationship—before the baby—before our lives changed irrevocably.

For the life of me, I couldn't feel guilty about thinking of Bella while I had sex with my wife—I found myself feeling nauseated for cheating on Bella with my wife. When those tables turned, I wasn't sure. Never once had I felt anything negative while being with Bella. I never felt remorse or guilt for anything Bella and I did. If anything, I always felt elated and twice the man I ever was before. Every time I slid into Bella, I felt as if I were finally coming home, and I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

When Tanya came back, cuddled up next to me and rested her head on my chest, I finally had more than I could take. I excused myself to shower, and quickly left the room. Before I could think twice, I locked the door and turned the water to scalding before my eyes became blurry with the pinprick of tears. As I thought over what I had just done, my stomach started to roll and my head felt light and airy and the childish words 'cheater, cheater pumpkin eater,' continually ran on repeat through my mind. With each rotation of the stupid, immature saying, I felt even smaller—less of a man. I cheated on the only thing that mattered in my life. Bella was the only thing that mattered to me and I was finally seeing what that entailed.

If all my money was gone, if my house, my cars, my company were to disappear, it wouldn't matter—if I ever lost Bella, I don't know if I could make it past the parting words. This one action, showed me how entirely I belonged to my angel—how in such a short amount of time she claimed me and owned me, even if she didn't realize it.

Following my guise, I jumped in the shower, washed Tanya's remnants off my skin, and quietly made my way back into the bedroom. I debated briefly on whether to go back to bed or not, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep lying there in the mist of the sheets I'd just soiled, and after the contented sigh Tanya expelled, indicating to me she was fast asleep, I found myself moving down the hallway toward the living room. I sat on the couch, resting my head on the back of the cushions as I stared at the dark ceiling, my mind once again drifting back to the meeting with my attorney…. _There has to be a way_ … I thought, just moments before sleep found me, and once again, my beautiful angel was beside me—if only in my dreams.

****Author's Note****

Um, yeah … please review?!


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them all so very much! I know a lot of you are waiting patiently for the next update of 'Forever and Almost Always' and I just wanted to tell you, it is coming :)**

**Angelnlove52 … what can I say that I haven't already said? Nothing, lol! I'd be lost without you, girl! Thank you so much for all the work you've done and continue to do with all my stories! You're the best beta slash friend a girl could ask for. I'm so very glad I found you :)**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 9**

**BPOV ~**

**Thursday, December 21****st****, 2006 ~**

"Someone's got you looking pretty happy today," Alice remarked as we made our way back into the locker room after spin class. "Boyfriend coming?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yup. Tonight." I could barely hide my excitement. I couldn't wait to see him, it'd been way to long.

"Finally," she remarked, before quickly adding, "I'm just glad to _finally_ see a smile on your face. So, how long is he staying for?"

"Saturday …." Yes, I wished he could stay until Sunday, but he said something about a family Christmas gathering on Sunday.

It saddened me, knowing I wasn't going to be able to spend Christmas with him. That was the hardest holiday for me, and I couldn't help but to hope he'd want to spend it with me, considering he spent Thanksgiving with me. But he said he had to catch the redeye to some state or another for a meeting first thing Tuesday morning. I couldn't really blame him if he didn't want to spend Christmas with me, especially after our Thanksgiving tragedy.

"Well, that's good," she responded, pulling her shoes out and bringing me out of my thoughts. "At least you'll get a couple of days together." I nodded, because I couldn't agree more. As much as I wished he could give me more time, I was happy as hell to get any.

Alice Whitlock and I became fast friends following my meltdown in the locker room that dreadful day. I'm not sure what it was about her, but she was so incredibly easy to talk to, so inviting in a way I'd never experienced before, and unlike my two best friends, she never once told me I needed to let Edward go—that I needed get on with my life. It was almost as though she could see what he meant to me. It seemed she was determined to help me through the separation as much as she could, and for that, I was grateful.

My friendship with Alice was effortless and refreshing. In a lot ways, she reminded me of Edward—so much so, that when I was with her, I seemed to miss him less. They had very similar mannerisms, and sometimes their catch phrases would be the same, they watched the same shows, and both were from Boston. Maybe that's why I felt the so close to her—she was a connection to Boston when I wanted one the most.

The odd thing about it all was she came at the time I needed someone the most. It was like we had this connection—she could feel when I needed her and there she would be, whether it be a phone call, or a drive by with a cup of coffee. Her advice was heartfelt and non-imposing, and she actually listened to how I felt and what I wanted. She took the time to be the person I needed, instead of being the friend she thought I wanted. She was everything Angela and Vic weren't—understanding, thoughtful, nonjudgmental, and sincere.

I'm not saying my other friends weren't good friends, it's just they weren't Alice, they didn't have her tact, or share the same thoughts we did. Angela and Vic were hardened to men and only saw them as paychecks or easy lays; whereas, Alice still believed there were real men, fairytales, true love, soul mates, and happily ever afters out there for everyone. Angela had Ben, her fiancé, and I knew they were happy together, but a part of me always wondered why he never made her give up stripping? Why was she still showing her goodies to the boys in the club while she had a man across town waiting to make her an honest woman? Yes, Angela didn't sleep around, but that didn't mean she wasn't showing the world what was soon to be married material.

All I knew was if I were with a man—like really with a man, I'd do everything to try to make it work, finding a new job would be the first step. If he didn't ask me to quit, then he wasn't worth the effort to keep. He should want me to keep the goods private and not want the world to see what belonged to him—just saying.

**~ Later that afternoon ~**

"HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" I yelled furiously, throwing my cell phone across my bedroom, making sure that shit hit the wall—and hard. The stupid fucker had yet _again_ cancelled on me, and I was enraged. I just didn't get it. He spewed it thick and heavy on the phone, talking about how much he missed me, and how he couldn't wait to have me in his arms, and yet he kept cancelling.

_What the hell?_ I thought, as there was a knock at my door. Angela poked her head in, not waiting for my response.

"Bella?" she asked with concern clear in her voice. "Everything alright?"

"No!" I hissed. "He cancelled on me. Again!"

Angela shook her head, walking further into my room. She sat on the bed with her hands in her lap and I moved to sit next to her. I figured if I sat, maybe my emotions would settle down, and this blinding rage might subside a bit … wrong … it found another way to get out. My leg had started bouncing and my hands started wringing in my lap as I imagined Edward's neck between them.

"What was his reason this time?" she asked, turning to look at me.

I shrugged exaggeratingly, my arms going out wide to my sides in frustration. "He's sick." I had no idea if he was lying or not, he actually sounded like he might be sick, but he'd been full of excuses lately, and seriously, how hard was it to fake a cold? Especially, from 2718 miles away—yes, I Google Mapped that shit! Doesn't he know that I would take care of him? I would seriously be at his beck and call until he felt better just so I could see his lousy ass!

"Um, wow … you're mad—"

"I don't know, Ang," I quickly interrupted, jumping up from the bed—the rage hitting full force again. "But, I think I'm going to take a bath."

She nodded and stood as well. "Okay," she said, exiting my room without another word. Lately that's about all Vic or Angela will say about Edward—they were afraid to say too much, to make me into a crying, blubbering mess. They had already made their feelings known on the matter, and now they knew to shut the fuck up. I didn't want to hear any more about how he was probably just looking for a piece of ass and how he was probably married or some shit and his wife wouldn't let him come down anymore because she was suspicious. That shit hurt me the most, that they would, inadvertently, think I would sleep with a married man. Fuck, maybe I should Google that shit too! I mean, after all, that _was_ the only way I could see pictures of him anymore. Nothing I'd seen as of yet said anything about a wife—but then again, I only looked at his business profile and picture, it wasn't like he had Facebook.

I closed the door behind her, and I slumped to the floor just as I erupted into a fit of heartbroken sobs. I couldn't believe he was canceling on me, again. It'd been a month since I'd seen him, and I was desperately missing him, needing him.

The more he canceled, the more distant I felt from him and our time together. It was as if with every "no" he offered, the farther within myself I hid. By this point, I couldn't figure out what hurt me more, the fact he told me no again, or because I had allowed myself to hope that he would actually follow through. Hope was something I had finally found after losing it so long ago, only for it to be diminishing—and fast due to his negligence.

I guess when I really thought about it—I wasn't mad at him, how could I be? I was just an easy stripper he picked up on a weekend in Vegas. Yes, I wasn't a whore, but in Vegas, stripper—whore, what's the difference? I think I might have been the only one who didn't put out on the side for huge cash payouts. Over the span of that one night, I became a sure thing … a five thousand dollar sure thing—which turned into a free sure thing. Fuck. I guess not every hooker gets her Pretty Woman moment. Not every woman who sells sex gets her Richard Geer to come and rescue her from her tower.

The more I thought about it—the more I hated myself. Who the fuck really offers five grand for a girl to come back to the hotel just to strip? I played into that. I went for it hook-line-and fucking sinker. I even told him to keep the cash because I thought I fell in love. Was what we had real, or was I just that—an escort while he was here. Because I was free, was that why he decided to take me to San Diego, to give me something back? But then, why all the phone calls, why the text messages? To keep me on for free? To ensure his sure thing?

These notions came coming without end, the more they came, the more confused I became because of things we'd done—the things he'd say. At the end of it all though, when shit got tough, he bailed. When I fucked up and got pregnant, things got real, and he totally stepped off, so was I that farfetched with my thinking? I mean, who really wants to knock up their whore … especially if Vic was right, and he did have a wife at home, who knows, maybe there were some kids in that picture too.

I thought many times about looking at the other sites, not that anything said, "Edward Cullen, Marries So-and-So" in the headlines, but at the same time, if it happened, I was sure it was out there. Could I deal with that on top of everything else? Having the notion he had someone back home was one thing, could I honestly deal with the reality if he did? How would I survive that shit?

_FUCK!_

**Friday, December 22****nd****, 2006 ~**

I decided to take a spin class—I desperately needed to let off some steam and I really wasn't in the mood to hang out at home all day. The less time I gave myself to think about how fucked up my life became, the better. I needed a distraction, which would be why I called Bree—once I'd pulled myself together the night before—and asked if she was still looking for someone to work the weekend for her. I had originally requested to have the weekend off, but considering Edward wasn't coming, I figured what better way to pass my time—stripping for a bunch of horny middle-aged men. A guaranteed distraction. Moreover, Victoria and Angela were working; our trio act had become the clubs next big thing, which meant big tips. Maybe I'd even cut my losses and follow Vic's lead for once, find a good pay to take me home—get Edward out of my system

"I didn't expect to see you here today," Alice pointed out, when I walked into the girls locker room. I had hoped I wouldn't run into her—not because I didn't want to see her, but because I didn't want to admit I'd been stood up once again—I didn't want to discuss Edward. Period.

"I take it he couldn't make it," Alice continued as she pulled on her shoes.

I pulled my workout clothes and shoes from my bag then turned to her. "Nope. He's sick." I didn't say anything else, just turned around and started stripping. I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I just _really_ didn't want to talk about it, and Alice seemed to understand.

"Okay," she chirped, standing from the bench. "Do you want me to save you a bike?"

I smiled at my friend. "Please."

Alice and I decided to have lunch after our spin class, and thankfully, she never brought up the elephant in the room. We actually spent the entire time talking about her holiday plans and the progress of her newest store.

She had been trying to get me to work for her, saying she needed a friendly face in the store and it would make the days so much better, having her _best friend_ with her all day long. I believe she just wanted me out of the club. She was a lot like Edward in that regard, saying I was too _good_ to be working in a strip club. What she and Edward both seemed to forget, was working at the club, made going to school so much easier. I paid out of pocket for everything—tuition and books—because I didn't want a bunch of student loans hanging over my head when I graduated. I wanted to start my career on a clean slate, without the worry of thousands of dollars in debt to repay.

As _well_ as she claimed she'd pay me, I knew it'd never be enough to support myself, as well as go to school. Moreover, at the club, I wasn't required, nor did I need to, work forty hours a week to make my bills and yet still have money enough for college. I knew if I went to work for her, or anywhere else for that matter, I wouldn't have nearly as much time on my hands for studying, and that just wasn't acceptable to me—my education was the most important thing in my world, and I wasn't about to risk that.

In an effort to help her out, I had entertained the idea of working with her one or two days a week, extra money never hurt anyone, and besides, I needed a few things—like a new cell phone with a different number to make it easier to avoid a certain, nameless guy from Boston. It wouldn't hurt me in any aspects to work ten hours a week, then just take off during dead week or whenever I had a big test. The extra money would be a huge plus too.

**Tuesday, December 25****th****, 2006 ~**

It was just after midnight, and I couldn't sleep. In my hand, I held the little blue box with white ribbon that held my Christmas gift from the one I'm trying to keep nameless. As the days went on, he made it harder for me to forget he existed. I'd been tossing and turning since I'd went to bed an hour earlier. Edward called just after nine to wish me a Merry Christmas and my mind kept going back to what he'd said. He told me he wished he could have spent the holiday with me, and that he was going to be here on Friday.

Sunday was New Years Eve, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to be spending it with me, considering he _was_ going to be in town on Friday. I didn't think to ask while we were on the phone because my mind was still trying to comprehend and believe he was actually going to be here on Friday, but now that was all I could think about.

I sighed, glancing at the clock – 12:09. It was just after three in the morning there, and I wondered if he was sleeping. I'm sure he probably was, but that didn't stop me from calling. I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas, considering it _was_ now Christmas in Vegas, and if I were being honest, I _really_ wanted to hear his voice … not to mention, I really wanted to know if he'd be kissing me at midnight on New Years.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, and hit the number two. I waited with baited breath as the phone rang and then eventually went to voicemail. I hoped I wouldn't wake him, but that didn't mean I wasn't disappointed he hadn't answered.

"Hey, it's me," I murmured. "I just wanted to say Merry Christmas …. I really miss you, Edward. I can't wait to see you Friday …. Call me tomorrow, please."

With great sadness, I disconnected the call and returned my cell to the nightstand. After rolling over, burrowing myself deeper into the blankets, I willed myself to sleep—the copper haired little girl with green eyes once again invading my dreams.

I woke up shortly after seven to my cell phone ringing, that familiar ring tone causing the silly smile to cover my face as I reached for the phone.

"Hello?" I croaked, before clearing my throat and trying again. "Hello?"

Edward chuckled. "Sorry I woke you. I just wanted to call you back …. Sorry I missed your call last night."

"You mean this morning." I laughed. "No worries. I just couldn't sleep."

He sighed. "I miss you too, baby … so much. I can't wait to see you on Friday."

I smiled, though I knew he couldn't see me. "Me too …. So, about this weekend …." I purposely let it trail off there.

"What about the weekend?" he asked.

"Its New Years …. Are you … well, will you be staying the whole weekend?"

It was silent for a long while. I was starting to get nervous when he finally started talking. "That was my plan …. Unless you have something else to do …."

I shook my head feverishly, though I knew he couldn't see me. "I was hoping you'd say yes …. Definitely don't have anything else to do …. I can't wait. I'm so excited."

"Me too, baby girl. Me too …. But I have to get going, baby. I'll call you later?"

I frowned but agreed anyway.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

Once we hung up, I turned to the blue boxes lying next to me on the bed and decided to go for it. If he didn't show up, I could always pawn it and use the money as a down payment. In the smaller box, inside the pouch, a platinum ring with a diamond encrusted infinity symbol fell into the palm of my hand. I squealed a little at the sparkle and quickly placed it on my right hand. Moving onto the next box, I found a matching necklace—the Tiffany Infinity pendant—and it was beautiful. Being nosey and a little manic, I looked that shit up. The basic ring cost twenty eight hundred dollars, while the necklace was ringing up eighteen! Holy motherfucker! He spent forty six hundred dollars on me—for Christmas nonetheless. What man, just looking for sex, would spend almost five g's on his mistress?

**Friday, December 29****th****, 2006 ~**

"Oh, fuck … Edward!" I screamed, slamming my head back against the door of the hotel room.

_Did you even make it passed the threshold?_ my subconscious chastised.

What? He looked totally fuckable, and then his lips were on me … what was I supposed to do?

"God, Bella," he groaned, sucking at my neck as his cock continued to piston inside of me. "You feel so fucking good …."

"Oh, Edward … you …" I cried, tightening the hold my legs currently had. "Oh, I'm gonna …."

"FUCK!" Edward wailed, as my orgasm pulled him over the edge.

Edward's head fell to rest at the junction between my neck and shoulder, panting against my sweat covered skin as I struggled to catch my own breath. After another minute or two, Edward groaned and pulled out of me.

He sat me back on my feet. "God, I've missed you," he whispered, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips before stepping back to pull his pants up.

"Me too," I responded truthfully, locating my own clothes.

"That necklace looks amazing on you," Edward complimented, looking down at his pants as he put them on.

"Thanks, this guy I know got it for me for Christmas."

"Oh, did he now? Should I be jealous?" he asked, winking at me from a few feet away.

"I wouldn't be, he can buy me anything he wants, but he can never make me feel the way you do," I answered with a small smile.

Once we were both completely dressed, we moved into the living room of the penthouse. I made it as far as the edge of the couch before Edward had me wrapped back up in his arms, his lips kissing and sucking at the spot right below my ear … the one that made me Jell-O every time.

I shivered when Edward's hot breath fanned over the sensitive skin.

"So, what do you feel like doing tonight?" he asked, his lips lightly brushing the skin as he spoke.

"Uh," I whimpered. "More of that?"

"Jesus." Edward turned me in his arms and crashed his lips against mine. "That'd be my fucking pleasure, baby," he whispered against my lips, before bringing me back in for another heated, passionate, kiss.

I whimpered as he grabbed my ass cheeks in his hands and lifted me up. My legs wrapped securely around his waist as he carried me through the hotel suite toward the bedroom. He dropped me onto the bed, making me giggle, and then crawled on top of me

My giggle was quickly replaced with a moan when his lips met mine.

**Saturday, December 30****th****, 2006 ~**

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and immediately sat up, glancing at the clock – 7:43. I glanced around the room, and found the bathroom door open but the room appeared empty. I quickly threw the blankets off me and climbed out of bed, grabbing the sheet to wrap around my naked form as I retreated to the living room of the penthouse.

"… how bad is he?" I heard Edward ask when I opened the door.

I strolled over to the en-suite kitchen, effectively grabbing Edward's attention.

He held his finger up to me, signaling he'd be just a moment then retreated to the bedroom. I found it to be odd, but didn't question it as I pulled an orange juice out of the mini fridge and settled on the couch, turning on the T.V., to wait for Edward.

I turned on MTV – Daughtry's "It's Not Over" was on.

Good song. It struck me as foreboding for some reason and gave me the chills.

Edward came out just as the song was ending and I quickly turned it off, turning my attention to him.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. My Uncle Aro was in an accident …."

"Oh." Yes, that really was my brilliant response. What more could I say? I knew what was coming next and I felt my heart shattering at the thought.

"I …" he sighed, sitting down next to me on the couch. "I've got to go home."

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I could already feel the tears starting to fill my eyes. I'd gotten a night with him and that was it. Now he was going to be leaving me, once again, and I didn't know when I'd get to see him again—if I'd get to see him again. I knew I shouldn't be thinking like that. That my thoughts were selfish, but I couldn't really bring myself to care.

"Bella, I—"

"Its okay, Edward," I interrupted, wiping my tears away. "I understand. I hope you're uncle is alright."

He wrapped his arm around me, kissing my forehead before whispering, "Thank you."

I nodded, again, but didn't say anything. In fact, we sat there just being for a minute when he sighed and pulled away from me.

He got off the couch, and I watched as he retreated into the bedroom, but I didn't follow. I sat there quietly, tears falling wildly down my face, as Edward packed his bag to once again leave me, and that's when I realized I couldn't do it anymore. Say goodbye. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't beat myself up between visits like I did this last time. I couldn't make myself feel like a whore—his whore because I didn't have all his attention. I had too many unanswered questions going through my mind, too many insecurities adding up and this was becoming unhealthy for me.

I found myself thinking of actions just to spite him, because I'd been hurt—actions, that on a normal day, I never would have even entertained the idea of. Him breaking my heart, time and time again had to stop. I had to look out for myself and do what was best for me.

"The room's paid up," Edward said, walking back into the living room of the suite. "So feel free to stay …. Bella?"

I turned to look at him, and he dropped his suitcase onto the floor.

"I– I …" I stuttered, wiping my tears away. "I know … I know this isn't a good time—"

"Bella …" he interrupted, but didn't go on. I believe he knew what was coming, and apparently, he wasn't going to fight for me. I had my answer to all my questions right there. I was nothing more than a glorified whore to him.

I reached up around my neck and unclasped the necklace, then pulled the ring off before leaving them on the coffee table in front of me. "I … I can't do this anymore, Edward."

"I …" he started to say, but I don't think he really knew how to proceed.

"I'm sorry." I stood up, and turned to face him. "I just … it's too hard …." A sob ribbed through me, and Edward wasted no time pulling me into his arms.

I felt myself starting to reconsider, or my thoughts were just a giant jumbled mess rather, because that was what happened when he touched me, when he held me. I felt safe, and I'd love to stay in those arms everyday of forever.

"I know, and I'm sorry—" His phone chirping brought me back to reality and I quickly stepped out of his embrace.

"It's okay, Edward. I … I just need some time …." I wasn't really sure whether that was the truth or not. I knew I couldn't continue like this, only seeing him once or twice a month, but I wasn't entirely sure I could go without seeing him anymore either.

He nodded his head, whispering a faint, "Okay." He looked down at the phone going ape-shit in his hand then back up at me. I smiled a small smile and turned to grab my belongs.

With tears still falling wildly down my face, I stood on my tippy toes and placed one last, lingering kiss on his lips, whispered, "Goodbye, Edward." And turned to leave the hotel suite. He never stopped me … never came after me … obviously never cared.

****Author's Note****

**Well, you know the drill … leave me a review :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you Angelnlove52 for all your hard work! And to my readers, thank you for all the reviews - they mean the world to me!**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 10**

**BPOV ~**

**Monday, January 1****st****, 2007 ~ **

"Hey, Izzy," Maria called when I walked back into the dressing room after my set. "Your phone has been blowing up …."

"Thanks," I mumbled, heading in the direction of my station.

I really didn't want to go in, but I couldn't find anyone to cover for me, so I was stuck. I would much rather have stayed at home, wallowing in the comfort of my own bed.

Once I reached my dressing station, I picked up my phone. My eyes instantly zeroed in on the caller blowing up said phone. I jumped a bit when it chirped in my hand, alerting me to a new voicemail. Hesitantly, I pressed the talk button connecting to my voicemail, and brought the phone up to my ear.

"Please enter your security code," the automated voice prompted. I entered my four-digit code, and brought the phone back to my ear. "You have ONE new voice message. To listen to your—" I hit the number one on the phone, and then brought it back to my ear, taking in a deep calming breath.

_"Hey … I … I just wanted to say, Happy New Year, baby ..."_

Tears instantly filled my eyes, and I stood there a good ten minutes, silently debating, on whether I should call him back or not. I mean, it'd only been about twenty minutes since he called—

"Hey!" Victoria hollered, interrupting my internal debate. "Good show," she said, handing me a white envelope. "Stefan asked me to give you this." I was right about the dancing being one hell of a distraction. I discovered that while on stage, I could push all this shit out of my head and dance my heart out—force myself to forget for at least a few minutes about what a mess my life had quickly became.

Since the day Edward left, I'd made more money than I ever thought possible … we're talking a few g's a night—I knew now what Victoria was saying all those years ago, when she was trying to convince me to strip at the club. While strippers may have a bad rap, they financially didn't need to depend on anyone—and obviously men could sense heartbreak and a easy chick from miles away.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking the envelope from her hand as I wiped my tears away.

"Aww," she soothed, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "It's over now …. Now you can go home."

I pulled away, turning to my wardrobe. "It's not that," I explained, slipping my bra back on. "Edward called."

"Oh …." I turned back around to look at her, pulling my panties back on in the meantime. "What did he say?" she inquired, her voice a bit frosty for my liking. They didn't have to like him, or agree with my relationship with him, but at the end of the day, what I did was my decision, and them being my _best friends,_ I expected them to be a bit more understanding—hell, maybe even a bit sympathetic, and a lot less bitchy.

"I didn't talk to him," I supplied, pulling my shirt over my head. "He left a message …."

"Okay …." She didn't say anything else, she just gave me a look that said, "And?"

"He just said Happy New Year." I shrugged, stuffing my stuff back into my bag.

"You're not going to call him back, are you?" she asked expectantly. My expression must have told her what she wanted to know. "Isabella Marie Swan, do not call him back. It's only been what, two days? Make that boy sweat! He has to realize you're not his personal Vegas bootie call!"

I sighed, looking at my feet. "He doesn't think that …." Yes, I thought that as well, but he never did anything blatantly to say that. He just acted as such.

Victoria didn't respond, in fact, she crossed her arms over her chest, and started tapping her foot insistently. Finally, I looked up at her, and she went on.

"He may not consciously think that," she affirmed. "But his subconscious most definitely thinks that. Until you put your foot down, it's not going to change, Bella." She sighed, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Look, if you were the kind of girl to be some dudes continental bootie call, I'd keep my mouth shut, but you're not.

"You're better than that! And we both know this seeing him once or twice a month is killing you …. Make him sweat. If he wants this just as much as you do, he'll make more time for you … and if he doesn't, then … well, then you know. Let him be the one to make the grand gesture. A phone call is nothing. After all, actions speak louder than words, dollface. Make him speak up loud and prove he's for real. Otherwise, he's not worth your time."

I nodded, tears falling down my cheeks. I knew Victoria was right, but that didn't make it any easier.

"I mean it, Bella," she added. "Don't call him."

I bit my lip, glancing at the phone sitting on the counter, and then back at her. "I won't."

**Thursday, January 18****th****, 2007 ~**

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Alice asked, referring to the phone ringing in my gym bag.

I shook my head, pulling my shoes back on.

"Still not talking to him?" she asked, sitting on the bench next to me.

I turned to look at her, suddenly very hopeful. "Do you think I should?" I asked, silently praying she didn't agree with my other friends, and told me answer the damn phone. I missed him terribly, and every time my phone rang, it took everything inside of me not to answer it and tell him as much.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "How long has it been?"

"Almost three weeks."

"Hmm," she hummed, standing to close her locker. "What's his messages been saying?"

I looked at her curiously, not really understanding what that had to do with answering his phone calls.

"I mean," she explained, obviously sensing my confusion. "Is he freaking out yet? Threatened to come see you if you don't answer his calls …."

I shook my head, internally freaking out—did he not miss me as much as I was missing him, was that why he hadn't been threatening to come see me? Was it really over as far as he was concerned? "No—" My phone chirped, alerting me to a new voicemail, causing me to glance at Alice, though I'm not really sure why.

She just giggled, saying, "Check the message."

"Oh, right," I retorted, calling my voicemail.

"Please enter your security code," the automated voice prompted, and I quickly entered my four-digit code before bringing the phone back to my ear. "You have ONE new message—"

_"Bella, baby … I just want to talk to you …. Make sure you're okay …. Please, call me back …." _

"Well?" Alice asked, as I hit the end button.

I looked to her, and then to the phone. "Um, maybe he's starting to worry?"

Alice giggled. "One week …."

My eyes popped up, meeting hers. "One week, what?"

"Before he starts threatening a visit out here," she explained, the look on her face telling me it should have been obvious.

"Okay," I replied nervously. "And what do I do then?"

Alice smiled. "You call him back."

**Monday, January 29****th****, 2007 ~**

I was just walking into my bedroom from taking a shower when I heard the ol' familiar chirp coming from my phone, alerting me to a voicemail. I walked over to my dresser, and picked up my cell phone, not bothering to check the caller I.D. before connecting to my voicemail.

"Please enter your security code." I entered my four-digit code. "You have ONE new message—"

_"Bella … I'm really starting to worry about you …. I'm going to be in Vegas this weekend … and, well, I'd really like to see you. I just need to know you're okay …. Please, call me back …."_

I played the message again, because I wasn't quite sure I heard him correctly. I mean, he did say he was coming to Vegas, right? That was what I heard. Right?

_"Bella … I'm really starting to worry about you …. I'm going to be in Vegas this weekend … and, well, I'd really like to see you. I just need to know you're okay …. Please, call me back …."_

Suddenly, Alice's words from a week or so back rang out loudly in my head.

_You call him back,_ I told myself, picking up the phone. _You call him back._

Edward answered on the second ring, though he sounded a bit frazzled. "Hello?"

"Edward?"

He exhaled a large breath, sighing, "Yeah, baby, it's me …. Thank you for calling me back …."

My eyes instantly started to fill with tears, and I wanted nothing more than to tell him how wrong I was. How much I missed him, but I knew that I couldn't. I needed to stay strong, because as much as I missed him, nothing had changed.

"Bella?" he asked, just as I heard a car door slamming. I wondered briefly where he was.

"I'm here, Edward …." I really didn't know what else to say, so I didn't say anything.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I …." I almost told him I missed him. "I shouldn't have called …."

"No!" he yelled. "Bella?"

"I'm still here …" I whispered, wiping the tears that had fallen away.

"I'm glad you called," he stated, leaving no room for doubt. "I wanted you to call …."

"I miss you," I whimpered, because I am so fucking weak and my mouth spoke without telling my mind what it was going to do.

"God, baby girl," he sighed. "I miss you too … so much …. Can I _please_ see you this weekend, Bella? I know you said …."

"I'm not sure that's―" I started to protest.

"Please?" he interrupted. "We'll talk ... I'll be there all weekend. Actually, I'll be there until Monday …. Please, just say you'll see me …? Please, don't cry―"

I sniffled, wiping away my tears, again. "When?"

"Whenever is good for you. I have a meeting at one on Friday, but otherwise, I'm free."

_God, do I?_ I thought chewing the shit out of my lip. I desperately wanted to see him—but was I ready? Had it really been long enough, and more importantly, would my heart survive seeing him—especially if things _didn't_ end well?

"Okay," I whispered after a few moments of silence.

"Did you just say, okay?" he asked.

_I miss him …._

"Yeah," I sniffled. "I don't work this weekend, so call me when you're done with your meeting," I lied, but I figured I could either call in sick or get someone to cover me if I decided to go through with it for real—if he even showed up.

"Thank you, Bella," he beamed, and I could picture his smile perfectly, which only made me smile.

"So, I'll see you this weekend, then?" he asked, again.

"Yeah," I sighed, hoping like hell I didn't grow to regret my decision.

"Okay …."

"So … bye?" I asked, though I really didn't want to hang up.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'll, well, I'll see you this weekend …. Bye, baby …."

"Bye," I cried, and then hung up the phone.

_God, please, don't let me be making a mistake…_

****Author's Note****

**Sorry this is short, but it is setting up for the next chapter. Big things are coming! Grab onto your seats ladies and gents cause there's about to be some drama up in this joint!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you, Angelnlove52, for all of your hard work with this chapter! It looks amazing because of you – I really couldn't have done it without you. To my readers, thank you for the reviews! I appreciate each and every one of them! Please, keep them coming!**

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 11**

**EPOV ~**

**Saturday, December 30****th****, 2006 ~**

"I …." I didn't know what to say. How do you beg someone to stay, when you know you really have no business being with them in the first place? Was begging her not to leave me really the _best_ thing for her?

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, standing up to face me. "I just … it's too hard …." A sob ribbed through her chest and I couldn't help my next move. I walked swiftly to her and pulled her into my arms.

"I know, and I'm sorry—" My blackberry chirped, interrupting me. _Motherfucker!_

"Its okay, Edward," she sniffled, stepping out of my arms. "I … I just need some time …."

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. I felt like I should say something, anything, but I just couldn't get my mouth to formulate anything. Well almost nothing.

"Okay …."

After she dressed and left the suite, I stood there, softly rubbing the charm on the necklace, asking myself how things had became so fucked up. All I knew was I had to fix it, because all of a sudden, I felt as if the life were being sucked out of me—she definitely took my heart with her when she walked out the door.

**Monday, January 1****st****, 2007 ~ **

_"Hey, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call. But if you leave me a message, I'll try to get back to ya."_

Beeeeeeep.

"Hey … I … I just wanted to say, Happy New Year, baby ..." I sighed, hitting the end button on my phone.

After locking the key pad, I placed the phone back in my pocket and switched off the light in my study.

"It's about time!" Tanya hissed, when I walked into the bedroom. I rolled my eyes, and walked toward the bathroom, pulling my shirt off.

"It's fucking New Years Eve, Edward—"

"Technically, it's New Years Day," I retorted, walking into the bathroom.

"Whatever! The point is—you said you were going to check your email, _real fast _then come back to me," she whined. Fucking whined—all nasal and shit, which sounded strangely like nails down a chalkboard. I couldn't help the shiver that rolled down my spine in disgust or the roll of my eyes. I couldn't wait to be as far away from this house as possible tomorrow.

"Sorry, I got sidetracked with a proposal …." I let it trail off there, shutting the door behind me, making sure to lock that shit so she couldn't impose herself on me again. If I had any luck left, she would be passed out by the time I was done with my long-ass shower. I definitely was not in the mood for her shit tonight.

Her whining started the moment we met up at the hospital. My uncle was in ICU, but stable—not something I needed to rush home for, but Tanya explained that my father _needed_ me there, claiming it was touch and go and my father wanted to go over business options to keep stock prices at an all time high.

I should have known that was bullshit. My father would never be thinking of business while his only brother was laying in an operating room. In truth, I was probably more pissed at myself than anything else, considering I allowed Tanya to talk me into leaving my happiness and in return losing the one thing I held dear in my life.

**Thursday, January 18****th****, 2007 ~**

_"Hey, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call. But if you leave me a message, I'll try to get back to ya."_

Beeeeeeep.

"Bella, baby," I sighed, pulling my hand through my hair. "I just want to talk to you … make sure you're okay …. Please, call me back …." I hung up the phone, tossing it into the seat next to me.

This was the seventeenth day in a row I'd called and gotten the same response. Every day I called—sometimes more than once just to hear her voice—even if I knew she wouldn't answer. With every time her voicemail picked up, my heart shattered a little bit more. I needed to get back to Vegas to try to fix this as soon as possible, but with Uncle Aro taking a turn for the worst with an infection, things were up in the air for the time being.

I realize she said she needed time, but fuck! At least let me know you're okay! Especially since I sure as fuck wasn't. I needed her more than I needed air—shit, I think she was my air.

**Monday, January 29****th****, 2007 ~**

_"Hey, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call. But if you leave me a message, I'll try to get back to ya."_

Beeeeeeep.

"Bella," I sighed, clutching the phone in my hand as if it were my only lifeline. "I'm really starting to worry about you …. I'm going to be in Vegas this weekend, and, well, I'd really like to see you. I just need to know you're okay …. _Please_, call me back …." I hung the phone up, tossed it in the seat next to me, and made my way through rush hour traffic.

When I pulled into the garage, I groaned. I was hoping to avoid her for a few more hours, but no such luck. Ever since I came home from Vegas the night my life went to hell, the bitch had been clinging on for dear life and come hell or high water she made sure to be sweet as sugar to hold onto me. I was ready to tell her to fuck it all and just walk out the door, but once again, Jenks, my attorney reminded me how fucked I could be at this point if I reacted hastily, but Fuck, I couldn't wait to have Bella back in my arms again. Every day without her was becoming too much to bear. I couldn't do this anymore. I needed her. I needed to talk to her, to hold her, to know she was okay.

I got out of the car and headed for the door. I had just reached for the door handle, when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Hoping it was Bella; I quickly pulled my phone out, and answered it. I didn't even bother checking the caller I.D., first.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

I sighed, turning back to the car for privacy. "Yeah, baby, it's me. Thank you for calling me back."

She didn't reply. In fact, it was so quiet; I actually pulled the phone away to see if the line had disconnected.

"Bella?" I asked, closing the car door behind me.

"I'm here, Edward …" she answered, but didn't say anything else. I could hear the distance in her voice—she was a million miles away and she had a huge fucking wall built to protect herself as if I were the enemy. Hell, I probably was. I probably broke her heart and left her with no one to help her through the miscarriage, then this …. God, I can't do anything right by her.

"How are you?" I asked, desperately needing to hear her voice.

"I …." She hesitated, but only for a second. "I shouldn't have called …."

"No!" I yelled, hoping she didn't hang up already. "Bella?" I was shocked at how hard my heart was beating at the possibility of losing a single second of her voice. Now that I had her on the line, I couldn't imagine hanging up. Her voice was like a lifeline, sending sparks down my spine and calming my broken soul.

"I'm still here …." Her voice was hesitant, like she wasn't sure if she really wanted to be there or not.

"I'm glad you called," I replied, quickly and honestly. "I wanted you to call …."

"I miss you," she whimpered. Her tears, the brokenness in her voice, broke the last shred that was holding me together.

I sighed, pulling my hand through my hair, my own tears forming in my eyes. "God, baby girl … I miss you, too … so much …. Can I _please_ see you this weekend, Bella? I know you said …."

"I'm not sure that's―"

"Please?" I interrupted, getting desperate. "We'll talk ... I'll be there all weekend. Actually, I'll be there until Monday …. Please, just say you'll see me?"

_Please, I can't live without you anymore. I need you baby girl, I need you so bad_.

I heard her sniffle on the phone, and knew instantly she was crying.

"Please, don't cry―"

"When?" she asked, cutting me off.

I knew what she was asking, so there was no reason for her to clarify. "Whenever, is good for you. I have a meeting at one on Friday, but otherwise, I'm free."

It was silent again, but eventually, she whispered a faint, "Okay." I wasn't even sure I heard her correctly.

"Did you just say, okay?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah," she sniffled, again. "I don't, um … I don't work this weekend, so call me when you're done with your meeting."

I smiled. "Thank you, Bella …."

She didn't respond. I noticed the door from the house to the garage open, and immediately turned my attention to Tanya, holding a finger up, silently asking her to give me a minute … praying, she gave me a minute.

Tanya huffed, stomped her foot, but turned around.

"So, I'll see you this weekend, then?" I asked, again, watching Tanya retreat back into the house.

"Yeah …."

"Okay …."

It was silent for a second, and then she whispered, "So … bye?"

I didn't want to hang up, but I knew I didn't really have a choice, so I said, "Yeah … I'll, well, I'll see you this weekend … bye, baby …."

"Bye," she whimpered, and then hung up the phone.

I sighed, my head falling back on the headrest.

_What the fuck am I doing? _

I mean, Jesus, why the fuck can't I let her go?

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but eventually, I figured it'd probably be a good idea to go into the house. So, reluctantly, I pulled the handle on the car door and exited.

Tanya was standing in front of the kitchen counter, eating yogurt, when I walked in.

"Who were you talking you?" she asked.

"My sister," I mumbled, walking out of the kitchen, down the hall toward the bedroom.

She didn't follow, and for that, I was grateful.

**Friday, February 2****nd****, 2007 ~**

It was closing in on five o'clock and the meeting was finally starting to wrap up. I couldn't tell you how many times I looked down at my watch; just to see only five minutes had passed. Not much was accomplished this meeting—not that anything would have been anyway. The contractor wanted to dick me around some more, and I wasn't going for it—especially not today. I was at my wits end, I hadn't slept a full night in over a week, and I was pisser than a bitch in heat.

The second I walked out of the boardroom, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and hit Bella's speed dial, trying to avoid talking to any of these lazy fucks for a moment longer. I had a much more pressing matter to tend to, and I wasn't about to allow them to keep me from her any longer.

_"Hey, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call. But if you leave me a message, I'll try to get back to ya."_

Beeeeeeep.

Fuuuuuuuuck! I hung up, not knowing what to say at this point, considering I was still surrounded by my business associates. I didn't figure it would bode well for me, if I was trying to compile plans with my girlfriend, while they all knew I had a wife at home. Shit! I had to do something about that. I had to figure something out! Anything!

Waiting for Bella to call back, I bullshitted a little longer with Jasper and a few other partners, before excusing myself to make my way back to the hotel so I could get comfortable. Jasper knew something was wrong, but thank God, he didn't call me out on that shit, because I didn't know what to tell him. At this point, I'd probably just tell him the fucking truth, listen to his shit, get pissed, then beat his ass right there in the new office.

By six o'clock, when I still hadn't heard anything from Bella, I decided to go looking. I was beyond worried, and my desperation won out. I saw a few lights on in her apartment and decided to just go up—if it was one of her roommates, at least they could tell me where to find her. I had to see her, and no one was going to keep me from her.

The second I was buzzed in, I ran up the stairs and straight to her apartment, my desperation was definitely driving me to act crazy. I had to have her in my arms now. There was no more waiting. I felt if I had to wait any longer I would seriously go postal or some shit. I felt on the cusp already, and she was the only medicine I could think of.

When Bella opened the door, my breath caught. Her eyes were red rimmed, and her hair was a mess—but she was more beautiful than ever.

"Bella," I breathed, still amazed she was in front of me. She stepped to the side to allow me in, but remained silent. "You look good," I added, entering her apartment, keeping my eyes on her the entire time as if she would disappear if I looked away, even for a moment.

"Thank you," she replied softly. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked quickly, making sure to walk away from me and toward the kitchen before I could respond.

I wasn't having it. I grabbed her from behind, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to me as fast as I could. I needed to feel her against me—to reassure me we would be okay. I needed to feel her like I needed the sun in the sky. I felt her body stiffen at first, but she quickly melted back into me, her head finding its place on my shoulder where it belonged.

She felt so perfect in my arms. With her near me, I felt complete. I couldn't imagine ever living another day without her in it.

"I missed you so much," I groaned, increasing my hold on her—she wasn't close enough.

"I missed you too," she responded. Her words caused something in me to stir—something that died the day we parted and just sprung to life. He words brought on a reaction in me I hadn't ever felt. Desperation flooded me and caused me to act hastily. Before I knew it, we were on her kitchen table, my cock buried to the hilt in the perfectness of her pussy. Home was the only word I could think to describe the sensation of being with her in this way. This was where I belonged, with her … always.

Her pussy contracted around me tightly, bringing me to a much quicker release than I would have liked, but she just felt too damn good. I groaned in frustration as I came deeply inside her, marking her as mine once more. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to leave this spot. My life would be complete if I could just stay there, in her arms until my dying day. Suddenly, work didn't matter, my life outside of her apartment had no consequence, and nothing else mattered—just me and Bella.

"I … I gotta get up," Bella said, bringing me back to earth from my post-orgasm haze. She roughly pushed at my shoulders, forcing me up and out of my bliss.

"Everything okay?" I asked, pulling my pants back up from my ankles. The look in her eyes scared me; they were wide and distant.

"This … this shouldn't have happened … we're—" Tears were spilling down her cheeks by this point.

"Please don't regret this, Bella," I interrupted, pulling her into my arms. "We'll talk, we'll figure this out, but please don't regret this," I begged.

She buried her face in my chest, her little fists bunching my shirt and clenching it tight. "I don't want to, Edward. I just …." A painful sounding sob broke through her words, causing her body to jerk against mine.

"I know, baby," I soothed, trying to give her as much contact as possible to calm her down. "Let's get dressed and we'll talk …." I offered.

I felt her body stiffen, I felt the distance coming full force.

"I can't. I gotta go. I'm sorry, I can't do this," she cried, running from the room. I didn't have time to comprehend what was happening before I heard the front door slam in her wake. Once I hit the entryway, I noticed her tank and shorts gone, but her panties and bra still littered the floor.

Fuck! I couldn't keep it in my pants long enough to tell her how I felt. Shit! I'm such a douche!

* * *

I waited until nearly midnight before I decided to go look for her. I didn't want to leave the apartment, in hopes she'd come back, but I didn't want her roommates to come home and find me all alone in their apartment either. I had to find her. I couldn't let this shit slide. I had to talk to her—I had to tell her what she meant to me—how she was the only thing that mattered, and I would do anything to make shit right again. I couldn't lose her. I had no idea how I was going to go about making it work, considering I was still married and didn't really see any way out that any time soon, but I couldn't give Bella up. I needed her to feel complete. With her by my side, I knew I could overcome anything.

I'd happily give up the money—give Tanya anything she wanted … _except _Masen Industries. I couldn't lose the company my grandfather built from the ground up—not to her … not to anybody. I would never forgive myself if I lost it, and unfortunately, she knew that—everyone knew it—and there was no doubt in my mind she would try and snag it the first chance she got, especially if my infidelity were to be exposed. Therefore, until I could figure out a way of walking away from my marriage with Masen Industries still intact, I was stuck.

I honestly didn't know where to look. It was too late for her to go to the library, and I didn't really think she'd go to the gym without any workout clothes with her, so I drove around Vegas aimlessly before I decided to check the club.

I parked the rental and made my way to the entrance.

"Hey, dude, is Izzy dancing tonight?" I asked, torn. I wasn't sure if I wanted her there or not. Knowing she ran from me and into the arms of scumbags wasn't a good feeling, but at least I would know where she was.

The bouncer ignored my question, forcing me to pay the cover with no answers. Upon entrance, I made my way to the bar and ordered a much needed beer, which I nursed as I scoured the club for my girl. I found Victoria and Angela immediately, dancing on the stage, rubbing up on each other making the guys go crazy. Girl-on-girl was always an instant boner, though I wasn't sure why. One girl, who knew how to work it, was better than two girls acting easy any day. As Vic grabbed Angela's breast and rubbed her groan all over Angela, I thanked whatever God was up in heaven tonight that my girl wasn't up there with them. Yes, I didn't say much about her profession, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sit back and watch as a room full of guys blatantly gawked at my girl. Her shit was for my eyes to see and my eyes only. I honestly couldn't wait for her to end her dancing career.

I was almost finished with my beer when a familiar squeal rang out behind me. I quickly turned around, just as my girl was falling into the arms of another man. It would have looked more innocent had dick-face not had his hands all over my girl. I instantly saw red. Before I knew I was even moving, I was standing right behind my girl and said man.

"Easy girl," the asshole cooed, wrapping his arm tighter around my Bella, attempting to stabilize her. It appeared my girl was a bit intoxicated, considering she was swaying all over, even with the man's grubby hands holding her upright. "I think you've had enough to drink …. You can barely stand up straight, let alone dance. How bout I take you home?"

"But, Benny, I don't wanna … I wanna dance … come dance with me!" she whined, not going to lie, it struck the same cord as when Tanya used that nasal shit on me. I honestly didn't think Bella had that loud, obnoxious shit in her.

I stepped around them. "I'll take it from here," I sneered, pulling Bella into my arms. Asshole just stared at me as Bella relaxed into my embrace.

"Ed-ward," she whimpered, nuzzling her face into my chest. I tightened my hold on her as asshole and I had a stare down. I wasn't letting her go, and I sure as hell wasn't letting anyone else touch her.

"And you are?" he finally spit at me. He looked ready to take my girl and run.

I smirked. "Her boyfriend," I informed. "You are?"

Bella lifted her head slightly, looking at me from under her eyelashes. "Mmm … boyfriend. I like that," she whispered, a small, precious, smile gracing her beautiful face. My heart soared at the sight, and I knew I'd do anything in my power to see that smile again.

The asshole glanced between Bella and me, before relaxing his stance and extending his hand to me as an offering. I narrowed my eyes at him but Bella's laughter brought both of our attention to her.

"Oh, Edward," she giggled. "This is Ben. _Angela's_ finance."

I glanced at _Ben_. He just nodded his agreement. "She's in good hands?" he asked, gesturing toward Bella. I glanced to my girl, the one that happened to be holding onto me as if she were afraid I was going to disappear. I guess in her defense, that had happened a lot lately … something I had to work on. Bella nestled her cheek against my chest as if she was a small kitten and her hand was gripped my jacket in her tiny hand tighter.

Ben didn't wait for my response. "Take good care of her," he said, pulling my attention back to him. "She was pretty messed up when she got here, and she's pretty intoxicated if you haven't gathered that yet."

I nodded, tightening my hold on her. "I did, and yes, she is …. Thanks, Ben. For keeping her safe."

He nodded a single nod, saying, "She's the sister I never had. I'd never let anything happen to her." If I wasn't mistake, I heard the silent warning in his words. As if they didn't speak loud enough, his eyes were hard as steel before he leaned over and whispered-yelled in my ear, "I have friends that will make you disappear if you hurt a hair on her head. You hurt her, you're as good as a dead man, ya hear?" Turning his attention from me to Bella, Ben continued. "Go home with Edward, Bella. _Talk_ to him." I didn't miss the emphasis he put on the word talk.

Bella nodded against my chest. "Thanks, Bennie … for listening."

Ben smiled, glancing toward the stage. "Well, I'm gonna go get a lap dance from my girl …. You two have a good night …. And _talk_."

"Edward," Bella whimpered, grabbing my attention. I brought my eyes to hers and my heart broke when I saw the tears welling up in hers. "I'm sorry I left you …."

I smiled, pressing my lips against her forehead. "No apologies, baby girl. I get it."

Bella gnawed nervously on her bottom lip, staring intently into my eyes. "I'd really like to have that talk now, Edward."

"Me too, baby girl." I pressed my lips against hers, kissing her chastely. "Let's get out of here." Bella nodded and I wasted no time wrapping my arm around her.

I lead her toward the exit. I was just about to open the door when it suddenly opened, and in walked a few fraternity boys. Bella jumped back, stumbling a bit from the sudden movement.

"Easy," I chuckled, tightening my hold on her.

"Hey!" one of the guys squawked. "It's you … the girl from last night! Where are you going? The party just started!" One of the assholes tried reaching for Bella to pull her toward them, but I tightened my grip and held her tighter to my side—no one was touching my girl.

"Sorry boys, you've got the wrong girl," I chuckled, trying to keep my anger under wraps. It infuriated me that someone else saw what should have been for my eyes only. The fact they actually thought it would be okay to touch her only pissed me off even more.

"No. We'd recognize Izzy anywhere. She gave us all lap dances last night … she's the reason we came back tonight … we were hoping for a repeat," one of the douche-bags claimed, sizing me up.

Bella looked up at me, her eyes slightly larger than normal as if she were alarmed.

"Sorry guys," Bella apologized, her voice soft and innocent like, which only added to my fury. "I gotta go home. My man came into town to visit me. I'll be back next weekend if you wanna stop in then?"

"Come on, babe," one of the dumb fucks cooed. "We'd be more fun than this old fuck could ever dream of being …. At least give us a little peak? Something to hold us over until next weekend …. Tommy here has been jonsing for you since last night. He's had a boner since your tits were in his face." The one, who I assumed to be Tommy, backhanded asshole number one in the chest—I was ready to plow the stupid fuck in the face. It'd be a cold day in hell before I'd allow her to give anyone a _peak_.

"It was your idea to come back, Franky!" Tommy grumbled.

"Sorry, boys, but last night was _Izzy's_ last night," I snarled. I knew I was speaking out of line, but this shit was seriously fucking with my head. "This old fuck, as you so eloquently put it, will be paying her bills from now on … she's no longer required to work. Thank you for your interest, but I suggest you move along, before we cause a scene."

"What the fuck!?" asshat number three nearly shouted, as Bella's hands tightened on my shirt—luckily, she remained silent. I knew she had questions, and I was fairly certain she wouldn't in anyway allow me to support her, but I was desperate to get these fucks away from my girl—and if I were being honest, I'd gladly support her if it meant her keeping her clothes on.

"Seriously, dude, who the fuck do you think you are. You can't tell a girl what she can and can't do. Come on, baby, we'll have some fun without Mr. Stick-up-his-ass." Tommy's hands reached out and grabbed Bella by the waist. My vision turned red and my actions were unconscious. Before I could help myself, I had Tommy by the throat against the wall, my body pushing his farther into the cinderblock behind him.

"If you ever touch what is mine again, you will be severely sorry. Do you understand me?" I waited a moment for him to respond, when nothing came, I laxed my hold, only to push him into the wall harder. "I said, do you understand me?" I spat in his face.

"Dude, he gets it," Franky yelled, garnering us some attention. "Back the fuck off!"

I patted down the front of his shirt and reached behind me for Bella. My girl didn't hesitate but to take my hand and allow me to tuck her back into safety.

I decided I'd given the assholes enough of my time and pulled my girl from the club. I needed to get her out of there before anyone else decided it would be okay to approach what was mine. "If those douche bags ever come back into this club or give you a hard time—you let me know. I'll take care of it," I vowed. And I would. It wouldn't matter what I had to do, who I had to hire to take care of it, they would never bother my girl again. I would make sure of it.

****Author's Note***

**I'm excited to hear it … please, review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**My beloved readers … I apologize for how long it's taken me to get you this chapter. As I stated in my update for 'A Four Year Secret' life has been insane, and I've been having major issues with my laptop as of late so while I may want to update regularly it may not always be possible, so please be patient with me, I do promise the stories will be completed this time around!**

**Angelnlove52, what can I say, you are truly my lifesaver. Without you I don't know that these new and improved chapters would be possible, so again, thank you! **

**No copyright infringement intended.**

**CHAPTER 12**

**BPOV ~ **

**Friday, February 2****nd****, 2007 ~**

It was just after six in the evening when the phone rang, signaling someone was requesting to be let into the building. I exhaled the breath I'd probably been holding since I woke up that morning and picked up the phone, pressing the _#_ button to grant him entrance. I knew who was requesting entrance—and to tell you the truth, I wasn't at all surprised he was there. I'd promised him I would see him while he was in town, so when I ignored his call earlier, followed by not calling him back, I knew he'd eventually come looking for me—or I'd hoped he would, rather, at least show some initiative when it came to our relationship.

There was a quick rap at the door, since I was already heading in that direction, I was standing in front of it when he knocked. Quickly, I brushed the remnants of dried tears off my cheeks before I reached forward and pulled the door open. I wasn't really expecting the emotions that flooded me when I saw him standing there looking fuckhot. He was dressed in a black Armani suit, with a deep blue shirt under his jacket. He wasn't wearing a tie, which was probably a good thing, considering the spring that sprung between my legs. I'm certain I would have wrapped my hands around it, and pulled him to me, had he been wearing one.

"Bella?" My eyes snapped up to his, and he smirked.

_Bastard!_ I thought, stepping to the side as I gestured for him to enter, which he did.

"You look good," he stated confidently, walking into the apartment.

_So do you,_ I thought closing the door behind him.

"Thank you," I replied nervously, ducking my head, diverting my sight. "Would you like something to drink?" I quickly stepped around him and headed for the kitchen, not waiting for a response—I needed to get away from him. Too many emotions and hormones were racing through me, and I didn't trust myself at all.

When he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me flush against his body, it took me by surprise, but I didn't move to stop him, nor did I complain. In fact, I believe I may have sighed in contentment and let my body relax against his—my head falling back and landing against his shoulder. I hated the way my body responded to him. It always deceived me where Edward was concerned—it refused to allow me to stay mad at him for any period of time—it was getting tiresome to say the least. I needed to be strong, but any strength I may have had before he arrived went flying out the door the moment I saw him.

"I missed you," he groaned, tightening his hold on me. "So much."

"I missed you, too," I whispered truthfully, feeling his hot breath fan over my neck before he pressed a chaste kiss against my pulse point and slid his hands down to caress the exposed skin of my hips, eliciting a moan from me.

_Stop this, Bella!_ my subconscious screamed when his hands slowly slipped under my tank top, caressing the skin there as his mouth went from placing chaste kisses, to full on nipping and sucking. I was a withering mess of need by the time his hands reached the bottom edge of my bra.

Edward stilled both his hands and his mouth. "Do you want me to stop?" he breathed hesitantly against my neck.

"I should," I whimpered. "But I don't." I knew it was wrong. The man ignored me for the past several weeks, telling me he would come, then last minute canceling on me. Strategically, he waited until it was safe for me to be intimate again, both mentally and physically. With every kiss, it only drove home the fact that he was more to me than I was to him. He came across as my boyfriend—the person I was really starting to fall for, but to him, I was just an easy Vegas lay. Correction, a _free_ Vegas lay.

Yeah, free for him, considering I was still waiting on the bills from the hospital. That shit scared me—how the fuck was I supposed to afford that, school, and living expenses? Damn, this man has screwed me in more ways than one.

Edward groaned, attaching his lips back onto my neck as he slipped his hands under my bra to cup my breasts. "Where is everyone?" he asked, pinching my nipple.

I moaned like some fucking dog in heat—_what in the hell is wrong with me?_ "G-gone …."

"When are they coming back?" he whispered, groping the shit out my fun bags.

"_Oh_ …. Not for awhile …." Edward wasted no time pulling my shirt over my head, discarding that and my bra somewhere to the side.

_What the fuck, Bella?_ my subconscious bellowed._ Stop this shit, now!_

Edward thrust his cloth-covered erection against my ass, making me moan like some two-bit hooker. I, in turn, thrust my ass back, grinding it on his raging hard on.

_You're not going to stop this, are you?_

Nope!

"Edward," I whimpered, turning around in his arms.

He crashed his lips against mine, trailing his hands down my ass. I gasped when he gripped it in his hands, and lifted me to sit on the kitchen table.

"I'm gonna fuck you right here," he groaned breaking the kiss, moving to remove my shorts. I moaned, lying back on the table.

Once my shorts and underwear were off, Edward made quick work of removing his clothes. I watched intently, memorizing his body—burning it into my brain for later … after he'd left me once again.

"Are you still on birth control?" he asked, crawling back on top of me. I nodded, while his lips descended on mine.

_Of course. Why would I allow you to 'accidentally' impregnate me and leave me again? Fool me once_ …. my conscious scowled.

"Good," he retorted, his lips brushing against mine lightly, before he pulled my bottom lip between his, gently sucking.

I whimpered, wrapping both arms and legs around him, my fingers lacing in his hair, while the kiss deepened. Before we knew it, we were both breaking away, gasping for air. He placed one last chaste kiss on my lips, and then he pulled back.

Maintaining eye contact, he slowly entered me. I gasped, arching my back, relishing in the way he was stretching me. It'd been way to long since I'd felt him inside me, and damn did I miss it.

"God, I missed you," he groaned, lowering his head to the junction between my neck and shoulder. He placed a chaste kiss there, and then began nipping and sucking his way up my neck, while his cock moved fluently inside of me.

I moaned, tightening the hold both my arms and legs had, holding him to me. "I missed you, too … so much … _oh, Edward _…."

"Shit, baby girl," he grunted, pulling back a bit. "You feel so good … Fuck!" He brought his finger down, and started rubbing frantically on my clit. "I'm gonna come, baby girl ..."

"Ed-ward!" I screamed, achieving my release just as he found his.

_You stupid, stupid, girl!_ my subconscious screamed, finally getting my attention when Edward collapsed on top of me.

What in the hell did I just do? How could I have been so damn stupid? I let him back into my pants, and not a damn thing had changed. In fact, we weren't even together anymore. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"I … I gotta get up," I stuttered, pushing on his shoulders. I felt like I was suffocating, and luckily, Edward was quick to scramble off me.

"Everything okay?" he asked hesitantly, pulling his pants back on. I mean we just finished fucking, why wouldn't he be pulling his pants back on right away? Fuck and run … yup that sounded a lot like Edward. The worst part—I was the whore to let him do it again and again.

With tears filling my eyes, I shook my head, scrambling off the table as well. "This … this shouldn't have happened … we're—"

"Please don't regret this, Bella," he interrupted, pulling me into his arms. "We'll talk, we'll figure this out. I promise, but please don't regret this."

I whimpered, burying my face in his chest. "I don't want to, Edward. I just …" A sob ripped through my chest. I didn't want to regret what we'd done, but after all the empty promises, it was hard not to.

"I know, baby," Edward soothed, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Let's get dressed …. We'll talk."

My back straightened and I took a step back. As good as it felt being in his arms again, I knew I couldn't continue on the way we were. I needed more and I wasn't entirely sure he was willing to give it. I was terrified of what our conversation would bring, what it would mean for our relationship in the end—I just couldn't do it.

"I can't," I cried, shaking my head. "I gotta go. I'm sorry, I can't do this." I ran from the room. I knew I had minimal time before he would come after me, so I grabbed my shorts and pulled them on as quickly as I could without tripping. I pulled my tank on just as I slammed the door behind me.

God I was so fucking stupid! How could I let him in, literally? I was proving to him—as well as myself—that I was nothing more than a continental booty call. Someone he could just fuck then leave, no feelings, no emotions—just sex. But I did have feelings, I did have emotions, and I didn't want to be some slut he called whenever he was in town. I loved it when he called me baby, or his ever so famous baby girl, but when he called me his girlfriend in San Diego, the night our relationship changed so drastically, I was over the moon with excitement. I wanted nothing more than to be his girlfriend. I'd give anything to be his girlfriend … but I had to realize it was never going to happen. I ruined any chance of that happening by letting him have the milk for free all these months. All I was ever going to be was a Vegas hook up, and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't shut off my emotions, my feelings. I needed more. I needed him.

I tried calling Alice the moment I closed the cab door behind me—I needed a friendly ear, someone to let me cry on their shoulder without the sardonic "I told you so" tone in their voice. Alice didn't answer, and when I remembered her telling me her husband was going to be home for the weekend, I was glad she didn't pick up. I'd hate to interrupt their time together with my trivial problems.

I decided to go to the club. I needed the distraction, and I figured what better way of distracting myself then shaking my ta-ta's with Ang and Victoria. It was a win win if you asked me, it'd keep my mind off the epic sized mistake I'd just made as well as put some extra—though well needed—cash in my pocket. After all, wasn't that all I was—some stripper turned hooker? At least to Edward I was.

When the cab pulled up in front of the club, I paid the driver and exited the car. I sighed, glancing at the building, sorrow suddenly invading me. I met Edward at the club. The club was what brought him to me in the first place. Had I not been on stage that night, I never would have met Edward—I wouldn't be dreading walking into the building that'd overall given me a nice life thus far—my heart wouldn't be nearly broken.

My eyes filled with tears and I quickly looked away. The pub across the street caught my attention, and I cocked my head to the side slightly as I glanced back at the club. Without another thought, I hauled ass across the street and entered the tiny establishment.

Funny, I'd worked at After Twilight for over three years and I had no idea the little pub existed. It wasn't very big and not at all busy, probably because of the strip club right across the street, but it was exactly what I needed. I wasn't much of a drinker, but I walked to the bar anyway, deciding it didn't matter what I was in the past, because as of that moment, I was changing it all up and becoming a different person—someone that didn't sleep with men they met in strip clubs. A person who didn't accept anything less than extraordinary, and most importantly, someone who didn't allow anyone to walk all over them. I quickly ordered a vodka cranberry on the rocks and then found myself a seat at the sticky bar …. Three and half-hours, and God only knows how many drinks later, I stumbled back across the street.

"Hey, Izzy," Felix, the bouncer greeted, a flirtatious smile on his face. "I didn't think you were working tonight."

I shook my head, placing my hand on his bicep. "I'm not," I slurred, squeezing the very firm muscle under my hand. "I'm here to get drunk …. Ang and Vic go on yet?"

Felix shook his head, opening the door for me to enter. "Not yet," he supplied. "But it doesn't sound like you really _need_ anything more to drink, my dear."

I shrugged, entering the building. "Felix, my friend, I need something much stiffer than a drink," I answered, not fully realizing what I said until it was too late. His cheeks blushed slightly and he winked at me as I walked toward the bar.

Sam, the part time bartender/floor bouncer was running the bar when I approached. His hands immediately went toward the soda dispenser but I shook my head. I didn't want my usual, I wanted to live on the other side of the fence for once.

"I want something fruity, Sammy?" I asked sweetly, blinking my eyes a few times, trying to be cute. Sam had always flirted with me more than the other girls, to the point Leah, one of the other dancers, was insanely jealous. He always walked me to my car, or escorted me with his hand securely on the small of my back. Maybe someone like him was just what I needed to get over Edward. After all, didn't the saying go, the best way to get over someone was to get under another?

Maybe by moving on, I could forget all about Edward and find someone here—someone that could give me what I needed. I mean really, what was it that attracted me to Edward in the first place? Yes, he was good looking, and yes, when he was there, he was attentive, but it only lasted while he was there. The rest of the time, he inadvertently made me feel like shit—ignoring me, not coming to see me when he was supposed to …. Maybe ignoring me while he was away was his way of making me feel more special when he was there. Maybe it was his way of making it so I was more willing for sex. Less of an emotional connection meant more of a sexual one or something like that. Maybe I was going crazy for trying to rationalize the actions of a player.

However the cookie crumbled, I was over it. I needed someone who would actually pay attention to me and care about me all the time, not just when it was convenient for him—and if Edward wasn't up for the task, I was damn certain I could find someone that would be.

Sam and I sat at the bar, innocently flirting back and forth for God knows how long before a strong hand came and housed itself on my back. Blinking to get acclimated to the light that shone over his head, my face lit up when I noticed it was Ben, Angela's fiancé. As odd as it sounded, he and I had always been kind of a brother-sister mentality. He was one of the first people we met when we arrived in Vegas. He and I instantly formed an everlasting friendship, while he took to Angela like … well, like I'd taken to Edward. He was her knight in shining armor, her prince charming …. He was constantly trying to get her to date him, but Angela was as cold to men as her sister was. Seeing them as nothing more than a means to an end, a meal ticket—someone to keep you warm on a cool winters nights, but never someone worth keeping around for any period of time. It was sad really, but I totally understood. If I were being completely honest, I kind of felt the same way, considering what we'd went through during our stay in the foster home, but I tried real hard to remember the stories my father told me growing up. The stories of how much he'd loved my mother, how strong their love for each other was that I was determined not to be an old shrew. I refused to grow old alone—I wasn't going to be the cat lady, and that meant believing in the fairytales my dad had told me. I _was_ going to find love and it hurt to think I might have found it in a player.

"Bella, what's going on? I hear you're quite drunk?" Ben asked, slightly raising his chin to Sam, nicely dismissing him from my care.

"Mmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm, yups I am," I answered with a wide, drunk smile.

"And why is that?" he asked with a chuckle. "I've never actually seen you drunk."

"Because I am starting a new life starting tonight. You're meeting the new Bella," I giggled, shoving my hand out in his direction for a handshake.

"I see …." He nodded, a boyish smile covering his face. "And what does that mean, exactly?"

"It means, no more stupid boys in my life that only want to hurt me and use me for sex." I didn't realize how childish I actually sounded until the words replayed in my mind. My tone sounded like a petulant child. Hell, I probably looked like one too with my eyes narrowed and my mouth pursed.

Ben sat on the barstool next to me, turning slightly so he was looking me straight in the eye. "Do I need to kick this sorry excuse of a man's ass?" he asked. "Cause any man that only wants you for sex is downright stupid." I nodded once, but he didn't give me a chance to respond. "You know he's not worth all this, right …? You're one hell of a girl, Isabella Swan, and one day, you _will_ find someone that's smart enough to recognize it."

I smiled a sad smile, tears filling my eyes. "I just wish …. I … I think … I think I've fallen love in with him, Benny …. Why doesn't he love me back?" Ben wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. "I'm so stupid, Ben … so stupid …."

"No you're not," he quickly opposed. "You're probably—"

I shook my head, pulling away from him so I could see his face, again. "Trust me," I interrupted. "I'm stupid …. I did something …. God, how could I be so stupid?"

Ben looked at me curiously. "What happened?" he questioned.

I shook my head, again, not sure if I should, or wanted to tell him about what had happened with Edward. Ben knew about Edward, though I wasn't sure just how much he knew. I assumed Angela and Victoria had probably told him something, considering he'd been over a few of the nights I'd woke up screaming, but I'd never asked or volunteered anything when I was talking to him.

"You don't have to tell me anything," he finally said, I'm sure sensing my hesitation. "But know, if you do want to talk, I will listen …. I won't repeat anything you tell me either."

I stared at Ben, silently contemplating whether I wanted to discuss the major stupidness I'd engaged in that evening when I decided he was really killing my buzz. I came out with the intentions of forgetting the errors of my ways, and sitting there wallowing in my sorrows was most definitely not forgetting. I needed to drink—to shake my fucking ass damnit.

"Actually, Ben," I exclaimed standing up. A bit too fast too, because I stumbled forward. Thankfully, Ben was there to catch me before I fell face first onto the floor. "I'd much rather be dancing and getting my drink on!"

"Easy girl," Ben laughed, grabbing a hold of my waist as an attempt to stabilize me. I was swaying all over the place, and to be completely honest, the room was starting to spin. "I think you've had enough to drink …. You can barely stand up straight, let alone dance. How bout I take you home?"

"But, Benny," I whined. I really didn't want to go home. I knew as soon as I was alone I'd start to think again and I _really_ didn't want to think—I wanted to forget. "I don't wanna …. I wanna dance … come dance with me!"

"I'll take it from here," Edward hissed, pulling me away from Ben and into his arms. To say I was taken off guard would have been a drastic understatement. He literally came out of nowhere. One minute I was standing there with Ben's hands attempting to hold me up, and the next I was wrapped in Edward's embrace.

My body betrayed me the moment his arms encased me. It was almost as though I was home and my body knew it, allowing me to relax into his embrace. The feelings of confusion and loneliness I was feeling earlier were no longer there. I felt safe, and above all, I felt _loved_—I knew in that moment, that despite it all, no matter the difficulties we'd faced to that point, or may face in the future, we were going to be okay. Edward and I would be okay.

I turned in his arms, whispering, "Ed-ward" as I burrowed my face into his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me, reinforcing the feeling of security that surrounded me. I didn't ever want him to let me go, and at that moment, I honestly felt as though he'd never let it happen.

"And you are?" I heard Ben ask Edward, his voice coming out a bit territorial. I didn't like it, I knew Ben was just looking out for my best interest, but this was my Edward … my Edward wouldn't hurt me.

_Delusional much, Bella?_ my subconscious asked, but I squashed her down. I wasn't having any of it. I knew in my heart Edward was meant for me and me for him. No matter what trials and tribulations we had to face, in the end it would be he and I—there was no convincing me otherwise.

"Her boyfriend," Edward announced. "You are?"

I lifted my head slightly. "Mmm … boyfriend. I like that," I murmured, smiling softly as I met his eyes. He glanced at me, gracing me with his gorgeous smile before it quickly transformed back into a glare and landed back on Ben.

Ben's expression softened considerably when his eyes met mine, and I watched as he relaxed and extended his hand to Edward in offering, but when I looked back up to Edward, he was narrowing his eyes, silently shooting daggers into him—I laughed, I couldn't help myself, it was quite funny to be completely honest. Edward wasn't backing down, and he sure as hell wasn't about to shake the hand of the man he thought me to be fornicating with.

"Oh, Edward." I laughed. "This is Ben," I informed. "_Angela's_ finance."

Ben nodded, gesturing toward me. "She's in good hands?" he asked. Edward looked to me as I nestled my face back into his chest—my hands holding onto his jacket as if I were stranded in the middle of the ocean and it was my life preserver.

"Take good care of her," Ben continued, pulling both of our attention back to him. "She was pretty messed up when she got here, and she's pretty intoxicated if you haven't gathered that yet."

Edward nodded, his hold tightening considerably, as he answered, "I did, and yes, she is …. Thanks, Ben. For keeping her safe."

Ben nodded once. "She's the sister I never had. I'd never let anything happen to her …. Go home with Edward, Bella. _Talk_ to him." I'm pretty sure I missed some of the conversation since both men were looking down at me, but Angela and Victoria being called to stage distracted me from listening to the entire conversation, only being pulled back at the sound of my name.

I nodded, my head not leaving the comforts of Edward's chest. "Thanks, Bennie … for listening."

Ben smiled, turning his attention to the stage. "Well, I'm gonna go get a lap dance from my girl …. You two have a good night …. And _talk_." I watched as Ben turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Edward and I all alone.

Edward's hold on me tightened immensely, pulling my attention back to him. His eyes were trained on the stage, his jaw tight and his nostrils flared. "Bella, you are never getting on that stage with Angela and Vic again. You're not subjecting yourself like a whore like that … you're better than that. You deserve better than that," Edward muttered.

"Edward," I cried, not knowing what else to say. His eyes immediately met mine and his facial expressions seemed to have softened. "I'm sorry I left you …."

My eyes zeroed in on his lips and the possibility of what they could do for me once we got home, causing my mind to go to bed automatically. I vaguely remembered running into some guy as Edward and I tried to make a hasty exit, leaving nothing but a bad taste in my wonderful daydream of Edward's hands all over my body.

Once we were in Edward's car, my hands and lips immediately went to the zipper on his pants, not able to wait any longer. I needed him in me in some shape or form and I didn't care how I was going to get it.

The next morning, I awoke to a loud buzzing in my ear, a throbbing in my stomach, and an ache all over my body I'd never felt before. My mind was hazy and dizzy as I tried to sit up. Eyes half open, I looked around the room, wondering why the bed around me was in such disarray, and why there was a male humming coming from the bathroom. I allowed my hand to wander to the other side of the bed, feeling the slight warmth in the sheets caused a dry panic to flush through my system as my mind raked through what happened yesterday … what I possibly did last night.

Edward came … or was that a dream? No, he had to have came, we had sex on the kitchen table and I ran. I remembered drinking at the bar across the street from the club, going to the club, talking to Ben. Then nothing.

My breath caught when the humming stopped and Edward came back into my room, allowing me to exhale in relief.

"Hey, baby. How are you feeling?" he asked his voice quiet and reserved.

"Like I was hit with the flu," I answered, my hand going to my head, hoping to stop the swishing of the room around me.

"When you feel better, we need to talk," he informed, carefully sitting on the side of the bed, handing me a cup of water and a few brown pills.

I nodded slightly, looking to the bed in shame. "I … I am happy you came …. I know my actions last night didn't really say that, but I missed you something terrible …." I didn't even feel Edward shift on the bed, in fact, it kind of took me off guard when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap.

"Bella …" he whispered, but didn't say anything else. In fact, we sat there for I don't even know how long in complete silence, his hand aimlessly rubbing my back soothingly until his phone started to vibrate on my nightstand again.

I cringed at the painful throb it induced in my head, my hands simultaneously clutching at my aching head.

"Shit!" Edward cursed, quickly grabbing and silencing his phone. He glanced at it briefly and then shoved it into his pocket. "Sorry …."

I shook my head. "If you need to take it—"

"I don't," he quickly interjected, gesturing between the two of us. "This is the only thing of importance today." I smiled, turning in his lap a bit to face him.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that …. I haven't exactly felt it … lately …." Edward lifted my chin, my eyes meeting his immediately.

"Bella …" he breathed, his eyes showing nothing but pain and sorrow—that I was sure of. "I have so much to say … to _tell_ you …. Just not here. I'd really rather we have this conversation in complete privacy."

I swallowed, hard. "Okay …." Edward smiled at me then brought his lips to mine, kissing me with more passion than I'd ever felt. I will say it made my blood run cold, the way he was kissing me with such despair made the hair on my arms stand on end.

I dreaded what was to come.

****Author's Note****

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